Last week when I was without a computer, I went to use one at our hotel’s “business center”. They had two computers, one was from the Stone Age, the other from Roman Times.
When I went in one morning, I saw that some guy was on the Roman one. Damn. I hadn’t used the Stone Age one yet, but I was there when the hubby used it the day before and it wasn’t a pretty sight.
I was trying to do this, that, and the other and quickly found out that the fraking computer couldn’t do the simplest things. I would type something or click on a link and it had a 5 minute delay.
So while I’m waiting and waiting, the computer goes apeshit and starts opening up new windows. I kept on trying to x them off (get your mind out of the gutter) but I couldn’t keep up and 60 windows opened up.
I kept on looking over at the guy next to me, hoping that he’d get up soon so I could use that computer. He was on Netflix, looking at his queue for a good 30 minutes. I was getting really annoyed and hemming and hawing, hoping this guy would get the picture.
Of course he didn’t and I took to twitter mentioning that this guy is just staring blankly at his Netflix queue.
Before I could finish tweeting, the computer froze up. I kept trying to shut it down and restart it. I couldn’t just say screw it and walk away from the computer because I didn’t want to leave my twitter account open. While I continuously clicked on Ctrl+Alt+Del, the guy looks over at me and asks if I have a Netflix account.
Why. did. I. say. yes?
He said that he couldn’t figure out how to rearrange the order of his movies and delete others. I tried to explain what to do but since the computer was so crappy, it wouldn’t budge.
While waiting for his computer to do something, the guy told me there were several movies in his queue that he had to delete because some of them had less than 3.8 stars. Um, okay.
Weird guy: How do you decide what movies to put in your queue?
Me: It usually has a lot to do with the actors that are in the movie and the plot.
He looked at me like I was an alien who just ran over a kitten with my spaceship.
Weird guy: You don’t go by the number of stars the movie gets?
Me: Not usually since the ratings are subjective.
Weird guy: So you have movies in your queue that have less than 3.8 stars?
Me: Uh huh. Thinking to myself I need to get logged out of the other computer and get the hell away from this weird guy. Also wondering why he has such a hard on for 3.8 stars.
Weird guy: Do you know anything about this movie; points to the number one movie on his queue, 10 Things I Hate About You.
Me: No, sorry. I haven’t seen it. (Liar, I’ve only seen it about 20 times.)
Weird guy: Well do you think I would like it?
Me: How many stars does it have? (heh)
Weird guy: 3.8
Me: Sure. (Yeah, right. Because a weirdo in his 60’s would just love that kind of movie. Uh wait, he just might.)
I start gesturing to one of the guys at the reception desk and tell him the computer is frozen while Mr. Weirdo McWeirdyson continues down his list of movies.
The reception guy helps me log off the Stone Age computer and I say a quick sorry, gotta go to the weird guy and leave him to his 3.8 star rated movies. I went back to the hotel room and told my hubby that we have to go and get a laptop right. now.
*I got a netbook because of all the features it had i.e it was cute. I soon found out it was just too small i.e I’m getting old and couldn’t see the screen that well. A few days ago we went to exchange it for a regular sized laptop and I’m in lurve. It’s my new baby and I’ve even named it Tobias, Toby for short.
While waiting forever for someone to help us get the computer out of lockdown at Best Buy (can’t they have more than one key, and why does that person with the sainted key always seem to be missing), I was thinking how that movie Inception with Leo DiCaprio looks pretty cool.
Then I started thinking of the movie This Boy’s Life that he was in and how it was based on the true story of writer Tobias Wolff. When I finally got the computer in my hands, I automatically called it Toby. I’m glad I wasn’t thinking of the guy that was “helping” us or my new laptop would be called dumbass.