The One With The F Word.

No, not that f word. The other one, baby fingernails. I hate cutting my daughter’s fingernails. They’re so tiny and she never stays still. When she was a newborn, we tried to use little baby nail files instead of clippers. Ha! That was a big fail. I’ve also tried to con my hubby into clipping her nails but since he leaves his toenails Freddy Krueger style, he never thinks they need clipping.

When she was about 2 months old I nicked her thumb with the clippers. I held my breath, looked at her to see if she was okay, and then there was crying. Both of us were in tears.

I raced to the bathroom to find something to stop the bleeding. I grabbed a tissue to wrap around her thumb but her arms were flailing about. Blood was smeared all over her clothes, her blanket, her face, me, and our bedspread. It looked like a bloodbath. She was starting to calm down but I was still in a panic.

I couldn’t believe that much blood was coming from such a small finger. I found some bandages but trying to put one on her finger was impossible. Those fingers are teeny tiny. I called my hubby at work to tell him what happened and he assured me that our daughter would be okay.

She was still bleeding and I found some gauze and tape. The makeshift bandage I finally got on her finger was bigger than her whole hand since that was the only way I could get it to stay on. There were layers of gauze and tape wrapped around her tiny, bloody thumb. Then she was trying to suck on her fingers and my new mom-itis got me thinking that she was going to swallow the bandage. I could just picture having to take her to the ER for choking on it. Oh, the joys of new mommyhood.

So I swaddled her until the hubby got home. I’ll never forget the look on his face when he saw her bandaged finger. Just earlier he was telling me that she would be fine and then he sees this HUGE bandage on her finger. I took it off and showed him the cut because I thought he was going to start panicking.

Now that my little girl is older, it’s only gotten more difficult to cut her nails. Whenever I try, her legs go thunk thunk thunk against her changing table. It’s like she does these tap dancing routines. People have suggested trying to cut her nails while she’s sleeping but she’s asleep and she wouldn’t stay that way if I did. I couldn’t imagine having to sneak into her room with the hubby, flashlight in one hand, nail clippers in the other.

I think they need to have grooming salons for babies. Out of all the things that come with motherhood, cutting fingernails is something I would pay big bucks for someone else to do. Bring on the diaper blowouts, throw up, teething, crankiness, screaming, whining, and tantrums. I would rather leave those itty bitty fingernails for someone else to cut.

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6 Responses to The One With The F Word.

  1. lisa August 31, 2010 at 06:39 #

    Thanks for the laugh, Elle! I was visualizing that story…and oh my! What fun!!

    Ahhh, the joys of children! 🙂

    • Elle August 31, 2010 at 07:54 #

      You wanna come over and clip her nails? 😉

  2. Gina September 1, 2010 at 06:54 #

    ROFLMAO!!!! Yeah… I just play the “I’m gonna eat your fingers” game with the Tot and bite her fingernails down. Forget clippers!!!! That just doesn’t happen with a toddler 🙂

    • Elle September 1, 2010 at 09:42 #

      Oooo! I never thought of trying that.

  3. meaghan September 1, 2010 at 19:22 #

    HI. new to your blog. I can relate but it has gotten easier for me. My lil man will sit in my lap and watch me as I cut them. sometimes if he starts to pull away it helps if i make up a little song about needing to cut his nails. that has worked since he was 4 ot 5 months i think and he is almost 10 months now.

    • Elle September 1, 2010 at 20:04 #

      Thanks for the advice! 🙂

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