A Post From Lexy.

I came across this post from Lexy at Mammy Woo. She was very genorous in letting me repost this on my site. I have experienced so many of these thoughts and emotions since my daughter was born. Lexy conveyed them perfectly in my eyes.

The ‘perfect’ mother.

I’m desperate to breast feed but I am struggling.

I shouldn’t give up? Breast is best?

My milk hasn’t come in at all yet the health visitor said.

So he is feeding on fresh air.

My nipples are bleeding and cracked.

I am in agony.

I should pump more and suck up the pain?

It’s my fault. I’m a crap mum.

I should have had the perfect experience. Like you.

I should have prayed every night to the tit gods. I should have learnt about scientology.

I should have reinforced my nipples with wrought iron.

I should have howled in pain like a banshee and continued to feed.

I am such a crap mum.

If only I was perfect!!

Which formula is the best?

We use SMA? The Midwife suggested it.

I should be on Aptimel? That’s better?

Aptimel has got more vitamins in it? SMA is bad for them?

He seems to be thriving on it. He is alert and nearly taking 7 ounces.

He is such a good boy.

I should have read each and every label and made an informed decision?

Its my fault. I’m a crap mum.

I should have bought a cow and freeze dried its milk organically. Like you.

Not a lot of cows in Eccles. But we could have had one in the spare room I suppose.

I could have saved up. Built an extension.

We could have had a cow farm!

I am such a crap mum.

If only I was perfect!!

We are only on 1 night feed now! We are really pleased.

He should be sleeping through?

I should try bath, massage and bedtime?

Addison hates the water. Screams blue murder.

He just wants a feed. Little love.

He is overtired? I should make the bath a relaxing environment?

It’s my fault. I’m a crap mum.

I should have swam the channel in preparation. Like you.

I could have grown webbed feet if I had tried hard enough.

Turned into a mermaid and lulled him to sleep.

I should have built a pool next to the cow farm.

I am such a crap mum.

If only I was perfect!!

Have you started weaning? It’s fun! He is always hungry!

I’ve started too early? I should have waited?

He is way too young?

But he seems to love Cow and Gate rice pudding.

He likes soft carrots too. Always a bit worried about choking though!

You would NEVER give your child pre-packed baby food?

It’s my fault. I’m a crap mum.

I should have gone to culinary school. Like you.

I have a phobia of eggs. They terrify me.

I could have written to Paul McKenna. I could of inspired him to write a new book.

 I could have befriended Delia.

I could have learnt to cook without eggs while milking the cow and doing the front crawl.

I am such a crap mum.

If only I was perfect!!

He is six months today! He rolled over. I am so proud!

He should be sitting up? He should be standing?

He is falling behind?

He seems to hate tummy time though. Loves being on his back.

Such a playful little bunny.

I should be encouraging him more?

It’s my fault, I’m a crap mum.

If only I had gone to the gym more during pregnancy. Like you.

I should have bought new trainers.

Ignored my dodgy knees. Put a bit of effort in.

Addison could have been running the four minute mile by now.

I could have ridden the cow, at the side of the pool, while flipping an omelette and wearing new trainers.

It’s my fault. I’m such a crap mum.

If only I was perfect!!

It is all my fault.

I am a terrible mother.

I don’t try hard enough.

I don’t make enough effort.

I am not perfect enough!!

I must try harder.

I must… I must…  I must….

Stop comparing myself to others.

My son is six months old.

His name is Addison.

He does not sleep through.

He is not reading war and peace.

He is on formula.

He likes rice pudding.

He hates the bath.

He likes ‘The bear in the big blue house.’

He likes to be cuddled when he cries.

He laughs when he hears the dog bark.

He is on his own time.

He sleep talks.

He is proud of himself after a big poo.

He is happy.

I am 31 years old.

My name is Lexy.

I am not married.

I like programmes like ‘Drop dead diva.’

I breast fed for a short time only.

I am scared of eggs.

I am over weight.

I beat myself up a lot over many ‘failures’.

I love my son.

I would do anything for my son.

I will be a working mother.

I am dreading it.

I am proud of myself every day.

I love my son.

I love my son.

I love my son.

I am trying my best.

I am doing my best.

I am trying my best.

I am not perfect.

I am not crap.

I am Addison’s mummy.

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