When I First Got Married I Thought Couples Who Had Seperate Bedrooms Were Crazy. Several Years Later, I Think It’s The Best Idea Ever!

*I wrote this the first week I started my blog. I’m sure a lot of what I wrote back then didn’t get read just like now so 6 months later I’ve decided to repost it because I’m still really sick and it’s been hard to focus on writing when I’m coughing up my internal organs. You can also catch me over at Jayne’s blog Mum’s the Word where I have the privilege of being a guest blogger.

Time: 10 pm-ish

Place: Bedroom

And…Action!

My hubby likes to lie in bed and have quiet time. He’ll read his Mother Jones or Popular Science magazine with our cat laying on his chest. I’ll be watching Friends and occasionally the hubby will point something out in his magazine.

I’ll nod, pretend I’m paying attention, and say something like “uh huh” or “oh cool”. After awhile he’ll put down his magazine, give the cat a few treats that she’ll puke up later, and turn off the light. Now this is where the fun starts.

Within ten minutes he’s snoring….loudly. Then he’ll start grinding his teeth. Ree Ree Ree Ree.

He hurt his leg awhile ago which can cause twitchy spasms. Maybe it’s because I keep my toenails so short but I think his toenails can rival Freddy Krueger. So his twitchy leg spasms trigger his Freddy Krueger toenails and he starts scratching the shit out of the sheets. Riiip Riiip Riiip.

Oh, did I mention that he likes to hang his feet over the end of the bed. So let’s recap.

He’s snoring away like a bear. Teeth grinding. Ree Ree Ree Ree. Leg twitching all over the place. Toenails slashing away at the sheets Riiip Riiip Riiip. And his feet are constantly pulling the covers down while I continually grab at them and pull up, grab and pull up.

I’m usually not asleep at this point, I mean how would that even be possible? By this time I’m reading US Weekly or watching Chelsea Handler. Every now and then I punch him in the arm or jab his twitchy leg with my foot lightly tap him to stop his snoring.

A few hours later I’ll still be wide awake, reading or on the computer. His snoring will be so loud that it will usually wake him up. He’ll look at the clock and see how late it is. Then he’ll tell me he can’t sleep and that I’m keeping him up. He’s lucky that I love him so much.

*Sick stats – The little hummingbird – The snot machine that was her nose has finally shut down. Yay! Me –  I’m slowly getting better but still have a bad cough. My lungs are being funky so my dr. put me on a nebulizer that I haven’t gotten yet.

The Hubby – He has the flu but I think he’s downplaying how he feels. Or maybe I just bitch and whine about being sick more than I thought. Yeah, that’s probably it.  :^)

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11 Responses to When I First Got Married I Thought Couples Who Had Seperate Bedrooms Were Crazy. Several Years Later, I Think It’s The Best Idea Ever!

  1. Lydia December 7, 2010 at 00:54 #

    It’s funny I’m reading this tonight. My husband is sleeping in our childs bed because our youngest wet our bed- his side of course. Oh well, at least someone’s using that bed- not that I’m minding the cosleeping that much, I just hope they sleep on their own someday. It could be worse, my husband could snore. (although mine also has Freddy kreuger toe nails- what is That about?

    • Elle December 7, 2010 at 01:15 #

      I know, I just don’t get the long toe nails. Men! 😉 My hubby literally ripped holes in our sheets one time. I’m surprised it’s only happened once in our 15 year marriage.

  2. Erin December 7, 2010 at 01:45 #

    haha! I’m sorry you’re sick, but glad you re-posted this! I cracked up! I agree when I was younger I would have thought sleeping in separate bedrooms was some crazy thing people only do when they are no longer “in love” like they used to be. Now I’m older and realize it’s what people do when they love their spouse enough to not want to divorce them for their crazy sleep habits. I personally talk, eat (oh yes) and sing in my sleep. I have also been know to “loudly text” in my sleep… how you loudly text I have no idea. Either way it’s nice to have my other bed I can retreat to and bask in the knowledge my sleep craziness (or his. ::cough cough::) is not keeping us up all night. 😉

    • Elle December 7, 2010 at 02:02 #

      “Now I’m older and realize it’s what people do when they love their spouse enough to not want to divorce them for their crazy sleep habits”.

      That is hilarious…and so true. My hubby has been sleeping on the couch recently since I “lightly tap” him thoughout the night because of him snoring in my face. 😀

  3. By Word of Mouth December 7, 2010 at 04:19 #

    New twitter follower …
    Too funny, we know couples who have separate bedrooms and I always wonder how they pick which bed they congregate … I mean conjugate in, personally I would vote for his room so you don’t have to deal with the wet spot 😉
    My husband travels a lot, and when he is here the moving, breathing, getting up to pee – ugh, I always tell him the fact that I don’t sleep well with someone in the bed is a good indication that I don’t have anyone in it while he is gone!

  4. Mandi December 7, 2010 at 04:26 #

    I still love this post. So so true!!

  5. Jill @ Mormon Surrogate December 7, 2010 at 09:59 #

    I can relate to the snoring! Apparantly I snore sometimes too. UGH! It must have rubbed off from hubby. We’ll poke each other or just flat out say you’re snoring… and we stop. I guess I steal the covers too. Oops.

    It is surely the time for sickness. Glad to hear the little one is better and hope you’re right behind her.

  6. Expat Mom December 7, 2010 at 11:30 #

    SO funny! When I was a kid, I said I’d never marry because I didn’t want to share a bed with anyone!

    My husband and I started sleeping head to foot for a while because he snored so loudly and right in my ear. And pull the covers off me (though he says I did it to him). We still share a bedroom, but we actually sleep in separate beds now and it is WONDERFUL!

  7. Mojoleonie December 7, 2010 at 13:49 #

    So true and quite frankly hilarious, I had to stop my self laughing out loud, I can relate to all…extra long men toenails…why? Why? Why?…snoring…teeth grinding & the twitching mine doesn’t just leg twitch but whole body twitch!…just as I’m getting off to sleep usually!!!…

  8. Al_Pal December 8, 2010 at 00:58 #

    Eesh, toenails. Even if they clip them, you’ll still get scratched unless you remind to file! ;0

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