The bad.

I found out Wednesday evening that my beloved aunt had a massive stroke. She died Thursday afternoon. She’s my mom’s only sibling and I can’t even imagine how difficult this is for my mom.

There isn’t any way I can put my feelings into words because I’m too heartbroken.

My aunt was put into a medically induced coma. When they ran some tests, they found that she had very little brain activity and she wasn’t able to breathe on her own. My poor uncle had to make the decision to take her off of life support.

We know she wouldn’t have wanted to be kept alive by machines.

I’m pissed off and keep thinking WHY HER? I’m so fucking angry.

My uncle doesn’t want a service for her of any kind.

She was a teacher and was actually going to start her retirement today, Friday.

I keep hoping it’s just a bad dream that I’m going to wake up from.

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11 Responses to The bad.

  1. theboyandme December 17, 2010 at 01:14 #

    So sorry.

  2. pauline @ kiddiequip December 17, 2010 at 08:30 #

    I’m so sorry to hear of your loss 🙁

  3. misslexywoo December 17, 2010 at 11:57 #

    I AM SO sorry for your loss. You know I am always here for you and I ve been there. Maybe some more free association dodah writing at some point will help. It always does for me. Get everything off your chest. I wrote jason a letter every week. It helped. Thinking of you and your family. Love ya girlie x x

  4. Jill @ Mormon Surrogate December 17, 2010 at 13:01 #

    I’m so sorry. No matter how many times we experience death in our lives, it never seems to get easier.
    (((hugs)))

  5. themrs December 17, 2010 at 14:51 #

    so sorry chickie 🙁 praying for your family tonight

    • Elle December 17, 2010 at 23:39 #

      Thank you all. I hate putting up “poor me” posts on my blog but this has been such a shock and I’ve been so emotional. I felt writing something about it would help with my grief.

  6. Mandi December 18, 2010 at 16:50 #

    I’m so sorry 🙁
    Write away, it really does help.

  7. EL December 22, 2010 at 11:42 #

    My deepest condolences.
    Anger is healthy, as is anything else you’re feeling. Allow it to be and feel it so you may find peace one day.
    ((Hugs))

    • Elle December 22, 2010 at 15:21 #

      Thanks so much, Mandi and EL.

  8. themomsmith December 29, 2010 at 10:49 #

    Elle, I was so sad to read this…my condolences to you and your family.

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  1. Blah. « This Is Mommyhood - March 18, 2011

    […] of when I’ve lost a few people I love so it leaves me feeling down every year. In December my aunt passed away about a week before Christmas and that was really difficult to deal with. In January I […]

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