What I thought would be a sweet children’s book has turned into a zombie nightmare.

I bought my daughter several books for Christmas but one of the books wasn’t what I was expecting. Since I avoided doing my holiday shopping in stores, I got these books online.

Deciding on a book for her isn’t based on reviews, it’s more from the plot and illustrations, but I still like reading the reviews because some of them can be pretty ridiculous.

There will be someone who says a book about a bunny traumatized their child or something along those lines and I always get a laugh from it. But one of the books I got for her was creepy. So, I am now one of those people who writes about a children’s book that traumatizes me, although I’m writing it here and not on the site where I got it.

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I’ve always had a wild imagination and to this day, I’m afraid of the dark. *whispers* I still sleep with a nightlight on. By the time I go to sleep, my hubby will have been asleep for a few hours. As soon as I turn off the lamp, I think of every scary movie I’ve seen and my imagination runs wild by thinking there’s probably a serial killer under the bed.

The most common thing I think about as soon as I turn out the light is that some zombie is going to crawl on his hands and knees across the bedroom floor, come over to my side of the bed, reach up and grab me, and will then proceed to eat my face off.

I know, I know, that would be impossible….because of simple zombie facts. First off, zombies are heavy breathers and growl. I would hear it before it even got to me. Also, my hubby is the one who sleeps closest to the bedroom door. Everyone knows that a zombie would attack the first person he sees.

While the zombie would be eating the brains of my husband or going for his jugular, that would give me a chance to hop out of bed, grab my daughter from her room, and run out of the house. The cat is on her own but I’ve never seen a zombie eat a cat so I think she would be safe anyway.

It’s not like I’ve given this scenario much thought though. *coughcough*

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After I got the books for my daughter, I read each one before I wrapped them. When I read “the book that shall remain nameless”, I turned to the first page and thought it was very sweet. After I read the second page, I could totally relate. Then I turned to the third page and almost peed myself with fear.

The mom crawls on her hands and knees across the bedroom floor to look at her son. If he’s asleep, she picks him up and sings a lullaby. All of my irrational zombie fears came to the surface and I freaked. The illustration of her peering at him in his bed while she’s on her hands and knees is burned into my brain.

I usually check on my daughter a billion times a night before I go to bed and there are times when I’ve been in her room watching her sleep and she’ll start opening her eyes. I hit the floor as fast as I can and quickly crawl out. So, I get that part of this book but I still find it damn creepy.

Like when her son grows up and moves into his own place. She drives across town in the middle of the night, uses a ladder to climb up to his bedroom window (this guy really needs to get a security system and fast), then picks him up and rocks him while he sleeps as she sings a lullaby.

I don’t get warm fuzzies from this book, rather the heebie jeebies. At the end, it shows him rocking his own child while singing the same lullaby. So that means the creepiness continues.

Not only that, how is he even supposed to have sex with his wife so they can have a kid when his mother always pops up in the middle of the night. If I was that guy’s wife, I’d have mommy dearest charged with breaking and entering and get her some much-needed therapy for her boundary issues.

That reminds me, I need to call my mother-in-law and thank her for my daughter’s Christmas presents.

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*Blog of the week: Temerity Jane. She’s awesome with a side of awesome and expecting her first child, a little girl she calls Garlic Bread. Whenever I read her blog or tweets, I start craving garlic bread and that’s all I want to eat. Actual garlic bread, not her baby because that would just be wrong. @TemerityJane

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19 Responses to What I thought would be a sweet children’s book has turned into a zombie nightmare.

  1. By Word of Mouth January 11, 2011 at 04:11 #

    LOL, I knew it was going to be THAT book. I remember reading it in a book store years ago and as much as it really made me cry – the whole thing was super creepy … and yet everyone would nod and say, ‘What an amazing book that is’ when I would mention it. So I put it down to strange American taste – but kindred sisters, here we are 🙂

    • Elle January 11, 2011 at 07:46 #

      There were a couple hundred negative reviews for this book and I just read a few but people were saying how creepy it is. I thought “are you kidding me, it’s a children’s book”. heh. I have several books for my daughter about unconditonal love and they don’t involve commiting a felony. 😀 I know the book wasn’t meant to be taken so literal (I hope) but it’s just so bizarre. Lol.

  2. Expat Mom January 11, 2011 at 13:34 #

    I used to like that book, but because I read it as a kid . . . now I think it’s kind of weird, too!

    Also, on a side note, the running out of the house in a zombie apocalypse (there’s never just one zombie) is a really bad idea! They’re usually hanging around outside waiting for you to do that. Not that I ever think about these things, but my boys sleep in a windowless room that would be absolutely perfect for hiding out, except there’s no toilet or running water, but the door is solid and it locks from the inside, so you know, no smart zombies could ever get in.

    • Elle January 11, 2011 at 14:12 #

      Ruh roh, I didn’t even think about zombies being outside. And if one zombie is already in the house, that means more will be inside. Crap, I need to come up with a new zombie plan of action.

  3. Monique {@MayhemMatriarch} January 11, 2011 at 18:00 #

    Hahaha!! I never thought that book was creepy until recently. I think it’s because my mom read it to me when I was a kid, so I thought all that was normal-ish.
    But yeah, now. I get it. It is a little weird!

    • Elle January 12, 2011 at 12:25 #

      I never heard of the book until recently and I was going to return it but have kept it around to see if I can warm up to it. Nope, it hasn’t happened yet. 😉

  4. Momsmith January 11, 2011 at 18:46 #

    Oh noes! I heart that book! I hope that this doesn’t mean we can’t be BFF’s anymore because that would make me cry. Also, I might have to find out where you live, put on my zombie mask, and break into your house and crawl across your floor. I promise I won’t eat your husbands brains (or anybody elses) mostly because I’m on a diet. I’ve also planned my escape…the mom from the story will be at your window with her ladder.

    And *this* is what you get from me on 4 hours of sleep in the last 72 hours.

    • Elle January 12, 2011 at 12:33 #

      So, ahem, I read your comment right before I went to bed. Aaand all I could think about was you creeping into my room with a zombie mask on. But it’s good to know that you wouldn’t eat my hubby’s brains, although maybe that would stop his snoring. heh.

  5. lisa January 12, 2011 at 10:58 #

    oh, I know which book you’re talking about!! 🙂
    It’s one of my boys’ faves…and I agree it’s rather creepy- but my boys love the singing lullaby part- they make me sing it to them still sometimes and they’re almost 11!! I don’t think they’ve ever caught on to the weirdness of it- Thank goodness!! 🙂

    • Elle January 12, 2011 at 16:27 #

      Liiisssaaaa!! I’ve missed you!
      I think the lullaby in the book is sweet but other than that, the rest is too Creepy McCreepyson for my taste. I think it also has to do with dealing with a crazy mother-in-law who has boundary issues. When I read this book, all I see is her. And zombies… 😉

  6. Mandi January 13, 2011 at 04:12 #

    LOL. I have never for one second thought about that book being creepy!! HMMM.

    • Elle January 13, 2011 at 07:38 #

      That’s probably a good thing and shows you still have your sanity, unlike me. 😉

  7. Sarah January 13, 2011 at 09:39 #

    Someone gave me that book and I threw it away. It makes me cry. I would never be able to see the Zombies through my tears if I kept it around.

    • Elle January 13, 2011 at 13:41 #

      I’m glad you didn’t keep the book. Not being able to see the zombies wouldn’t be a good thing. 😀

  8. Rachel October 9, 2011 at 19:07 #

    God, don’t listen to the author read the story. He is creepy! LOL! http://robertmunsch.com/book/love-you-forever#

    Click on Listen. I agree that it’s a strange book. My fiance is listening to me listen to this and he just asked me, “What kind of scary ass kid’s book are you listening to?”

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