Did someone say housekeeping…in the buff?

Since I haven’t been feeling well for quite awhile, my house is a wreck. Who am I kidding? Even if I was feeling okay, it would still be a wreck but it probably wouldn’t be teetering into Hoarders territory.

We’ve recently seen our cat so we know she’s not trapped under garbage….or worse. I’ve never been able to watch more than 10 minutes of Hoarders because by then my stomach is doing flip-flops and I’ll start getting nauseous.

I don’t get why these people have such a hard time throwing their crap out. By the way, I’m saying this as I stare across the bedroom, looking at a box our Christmas cards came in that I still haven’t got around to recycling and a moving box I have yet to unpack (okay, two). Pot meet kettle.

Since it was my birthday a few weeks ago, I just had surgery, and it would take us forever to clean our way out of our messy house, my hubby decided to treat me and he hired a maid to come on Monday.

Flashback to a week earlier. He was looking through the ads online for a maid and he came across one in particular. You may wonder how he could come across an ad like this but I was really stressed out and he knew I needed a laugh. Aaand he’s a weirdo but at least he’s my weirdo.

I was in the other room and he called me into the office saying he found the perfect housekeeper. When I sat down to read the ad, I was expecting something normal and this is what I read:

Nude Male House Cleaning

I’m 21 years old, handsome, impressively hung and I want to clean the home of a woman, man or couple fully nude, serve dinner to your guests, pour their wine. You and your guests are welcome to slap my ass as I bend over to wipe down the surfaces, wash your dishes, do your laundry or pick up some clutter on the floor. If you have any questions about my rates or services feel free to call or text me.

(I have pics available on my cellphone for serious replies, I look forward to hearing from you.)

As impressively hung as this guy’s ad was, we went with someone else. After she left, my hubby said “Damn, I forgot to ask if she’d let me smack her ass”. Yep, he’s all mine.

*Blog of the week: Rants From Cyberspace. She just started blogging about a week ago and I love what she writes. It doesn’t hurt that she’s written a few posts already about how she wants to strangle her husband. Haha! Make sure to check out her blog. She’s also a great person to follow on twitter. @RantsFromSpace.

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4 Responses to Did someone say housekeeping…in the buff?

  1. Where no one you know can hear you scream January 20, 2011 at 08:46 #

    I am honored to be your blog of the week.

    That ad is hysterical. I might have been tempted to ask for photos – especially since he does floor clutter. 🙂

    Sadly the differences between our husbands: mine laughed uproariously in a “over my dead body” type way when I mentioned hiring someone to clean our house.

    His philosophy: why hire someone when you are perfectly capable of doing it yourself?

    My philosophy: Bite me. I’m hiring someone because walking barefoot inside should not turn your feet black.

    He has since learned the error of his ways – at least in regards to having others mop your floors.

  2. Quart January 20, 2011 at 09:06 #

    Can you imagine surprising your dinner party guests with this guy? Awesome.

  3. Jill@ Mormon Surrogate January 21, 2011 at 07:38 #

    That is hilarious!

  4. Mandi January 21, 2011 at 09:16 #

    That is too funny!!!

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