Hubby: I don’t know why you’re so tired. I let you sleep in. Me: *laughs hysterically*

Every weekend my husband gets up in the morning with our daughter so I can sleep in. Even pre-hummingbird, he would be an early riser (okay, get your mind out of the gutter), he is a military man after all. I, on the other hand, am a night owl and the weekends are when I can catch up on all of the sleep I missed during the week.

I like having a few hours to myself at night so I can read or just have some quiet time to myself. Usually I read in bed but with my hubby’s insanely loud snoring, it can be difficult to concentrate. I could easily go downstairs but I’ll end up watching television. Then one show leads to another and I’ll think “hmmm, I could use a midnight snack”.

That “snack” turns into stuffing my face, the couple of shows leads to several and before I know it, it’s 2 am and I’m watching a magic bullet infomercial that I’ve already seen a hundred times. 

For those of you who don’t know, the magic bullet, surprisingly, isn’t a vibrator although that would be an awesome name for one, it’s a blender type thing.

So, yeah, I really need to stay in bed to avoid all of that despite the snoring monster that’s laying next to me. (Btw, he still hasn’t gotten his results from his sleep study and it’s been over 5 weeks now. ugh!)

When I go to sleep at night, it takes me a good hour or so before I can fall asleep. If I’m really exhausted, it takes me half that time. If I get woken up, I can usually go back to sleep within a few minutes if I don’t open my eyes or have to play 20 questions with a certain someone, ahem. When my hubby goes to bed, he’s asleep just a few minutes after his head hits the pillow.

Okay, focus! So this is what happens every Saturday and Sunday when my hubby let’s me “sleep in”.

My daughter usually wakes up around 6:45-7 am. On the weekends it isn’t my little girl who wakes me up though. I’m woken up by my hubby getting his metal water bottle off of his night stand or checking the baby monitor to see if the little hummingbird is awake. Apparently, her babbling and yelling coming from her room isn’t enough proof that she’s awake.

When he goes to grab the monitor or his water bottle, it causes an avalanche of all the other crap that’s on his night stand and I’m woken up to the clanging and thumps of things crashing to the floor. He gets up out of bed and ends up throwing the blankets off of me. I have to sit up and grab them so I don’t freeze my bum off.

Even though this happens every weekend, I actually think I’ll be able to go back to sleep. Bwahahahaha!

I’m usually wide awake by this time but I refuse to admit defeat and I’ll lay there with my eyes closed, hoping I’ll fall back asleep. Just as I’ll be drifting off, my husband will open the bedroom door and riffle through his dresser for clothes. I’m wide awake again.

As I’m drifting off to sleep for a third time, he’ll come in for something else and at this point I want to strangle him. Usually our little girl will be in the living room watching her favorite cartoon.

I’ll drift off again and then my hubby will come in for a fourth time to tell me that he’s taking the little hummingbird out and he’ll ask if I want him to pick up some coffee. Then he’ll set my daughter down on the bed while I’m trying to wake from my sleepy fog to answer him. She’ll start climbing all over me, using me as her personal jungle gym and my head as a step stool.

Only after that will my hubby pick-up the little girl and tell her that they need to let mommy sleep. Ha! Then he’ll ask a few other things which really pulls me out of my sleepy fog and I’ll answer him. Several “Uhhh! I’m trying to sleep.” will be immersed in my reply. If my daughter wasn’t in the room, there would be some very choice words mixed in.

He’ll leave the room and then a few seconds later come right back in asking something like “So, did you say you wanted coffee? I can’t remember.”

I’ll finally get settled and cozy in bed and wait for him to leave since our garage is right below the bedroom and it sounds like a jet rumbling through the bedroom when it’s opened. I’ll be waiting and waiting. I’ll hear him racing up the stairs for something while hoping he doesn’t come back into the bedroom. Finally, I’ll be feeling sleepy again and then BOOM, the garage door will bolt me back awake.

So much for sleeping in.

Later on in the day, usually while my daughter is taking a nap, I’ll be yawning and tell my husband that I could really use a nap. That’s when he’ll say “Why are you so tired? I let you sleep in. I’m the one that could use a nap since I didn’t get a chance to sleep in like you did.”

I should be grateful that he at least attempts to let me sleep. I know a lot of moms don’t even have their guys doing that but still, it’s times like this that I wish I had Dexter’s cell phone number.

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9 Responses to Hubby: I don’t know why you’re so tired. I let you sleep in. Me: *laughs hysterically*

  1. Where no one you know can hear you scream January 31, 2011 at 11:39 #

    I found myself nodding vigorously as I read this.

    Are you sure we haven’t married clones?

    What gets me is when I finally fall back asleep – after laying awake for over an hour trying to get back to sleep – and my husband will BLAST THE MUSIC because he has determined I have now “slept in” long enough and am wasting the day away and should get out of bed.

    If you find Dexter’s number, let me know…..

  2. TheBoyandMe February 1, 2011 at 01:13 #

    Oh bless you! I have a lovely hubby who lets me lie-in too.

    I have a magic bullet! Saw an advert for it in Budapest & *had* to have it. Do you know how hard they are to find in the UK? Invaluable when weaning!

  3. Alysonsblog February 1, 2011 at 02:38 #

    That sounds frighteningly familiar my other half does exactly the same but normally I’m stopped from returning to sleep by a 3rd world war breaking out downstairs and screaming habdabs

  4. Erica February 1, 2011 at 03:19 #

    I was in stitches over here because all men come from the same mold. Please pass on Dexter’s # if you find it. 🙂

  5. Mandi February 4, 2011 at 13:19 #

    I can’t help but think a magic bullet is not a food processing (whatever it actually is) object.. no matter how many times I hear it!!

    Maybe you should lock him out after he gets up? That would only require one wake up disruption on your part 😉 Put a sticky note on the door that says yes, I would like coffee. And when you go to bed take his stuff off the nightstand and put it outside the bedroom!

  6. Marianna Annadanna March 6, 2011 at 16:41 #

    I totally feel your pain. Hubby and I interupt eachother’s sleep pattern all the time. Thought you might be able to relate to this: http://snappysurprise.blogspot.com/2010/10/sleeping-hubby.html

    🙂

  7. Cheryl May 26, 2011 at 05:38 #

    Oh, do I feel your pain! My husband thinks letting me sleep in involves him moving the 3mo baby to our bed, giving him a bottle, then LEAVING HIM IN THERE WITH ME so he can wake me up ten minutes after hubby leaves the room.

    Oh, and did I mention that it didn’t occur to him to bring the kids downstairs and let me sleep either on my birthday OR mother’s day? Sometimes I want to kill that man…

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    […] gets up with the hummingbird on the weekends so I can sleep in although this right here is me sleeping in. My hubby gets up really early during the week so he considers waking up at 7 am […]

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