My half-ass attempt at cooking.

I am an awful cook and I can actually screw up frozen lasagne that just needs to be microwaved. My husband is a great cook who is like the MacGyver of the kitchen. It seems like he can make an amazing dinner just by using a pack of toothpicks, a whisk, and a block of cheese. He’s usually the one that ends up cooking if there isn’t really anything in the house. Meaning there isn’t anything in the freezer for me to microwave except a couple of freezer-burned Lean Cuisines that I just can’t bear to throw out even though I know I will never eat them.

It’s like I need the food equivalent of Stacey and Clinton from What Not To Wear to come and help me purge my kitchen of food that I’m never going to eat but can’t get rid of. Like those popsicles that end up on the bottom of my freezer and stay there because I think maybe, just maybe I’ll eat them next summer.

I consider making a grilled cheese sandwich to be hardcore cooking so when I see my husband and others putting together several ingredients and making something that’s actually edible, I’m amazed. It’s ironic that while I don’t like cooking, I’m obsessed with Julia Child. I saw the movie Julie and Julia last year which lead me to read Julia’s book My Life In France. I loved reading about her passion for food. I thought her passion was inspiring and can be applied to anything really. I also love me some Anthony Bourdain. *swoon*

My daughter is a picky eater and I’ve spent a lot of time making something for her that I think she will love and then she refuses to even taste it. But then I’ll have to chase her around the house because she won’t give up the cat treats that she’ll be chowing down. Since she’s getting older, I would like to start cooking more often. I’m not talking about becoming some master chef, just developing my cooking skills somewhat so I can take over the cooking reigns from my husband a little more often.

I’ve decided to chronicle my journey into cooking. I want to change my half-ass attempt at it into a…um, er…full-ass attempt. I know what I attempt will seem rather simple to so many but for me it will be huge. I have no idea how often I’ll post on it. It could be once a week or once a month. I might even give up on cooking entirely but I hope to at lease give it a chance.

I wanted to show the level I’m at now. Instead of feeling like a total loser when it comes to my very limited cooking ability, I’ve decided to mock myself instead because that will make me feel better no really, it will. So it’s with great embarrassment that I present:

Nacho Nacho’s {so go get your own}!!

Explanation points make writing better. It’s like what bacon and butter does for food.

You take all of this and throw it on a cookie sheet. Well, except for the sour cream (even I know that).

After you put it on a sheet, bake it because that will make it seem like your making an effort to actually cook.

Since I totally failed at "cooking", I made a chocolate lava cake for my hubby. That meant going to the freezer, taking it out of the freezer, and zapping it in the microwave for a minute.

Because I "made" the cake for my husband and only had a bite (or 3), I had this little gem all to myself. Note to self: It might not be the best idea to have so much sugar right before bed. Oopsie.

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8 Responses to My half-ass attempt at cooking.

  1. Marianna Annadanna March 13, 2011 at 16:59 #

    I am a pretty bad cook. I guess I can manage some things – like nachos, for example – but not much else.

    I wish I could make my own cream eggs though – I need those things all year round.

    • Elle March 14, 2011 at 23:57 #

      If I could have my way, I’d get take-out every night. 😉

  2. Mandi March 13, 2011 at 17:42 #

    I bought this one book of recipes and a certain dish because you could microwave them. Full blown meals microwaved. How beautiful is that?!

    I am not a fan of cooking myself, but I try to make myself do it so my daughter doesn’t grow up on McDonald’s chicken nuggets, cheeseburgers and chocolate milk. 😉

    Good luck and I’ll have you know, I think those nachos look delicious!!!

    • Elle March 15, 2011 at 00:06 #

      Thank you! The nachos were yummy. I always try to make healthy meals for my daughter since I don’t want her to grow up eating fast food either. The only time we gave her that kind of food was last summer when we were moving from the east coast to the west coast and didn’t have a lot of options. Even then she didn’t care for it but she did love the bean burritos we gave her when she wouldn’t eat anything else. That’s my girl! She does however love chocolate. I wonder where she discovered that…hmmm. 😀

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