Leave.

She sat on the floor next to the bed, crying. The impact of his punch to her face had caused ringing in her left ear. She felt her eye swelling up.

She tried leaving before but she would always come back.

He would give her empty promises of it never happening again and things would seem fine for a few days.

It would always be so easy to believe. Her false sense of security would come back.

He would start calling her a bitch again, telling her she’s fucking useless, calling her a slut just for talking to one of his friends.

She finally got herself up off of the floor and walked to the bathroom to see the damage that was done. The ringing in her ear finally stopped and now everything sounded muffled.

When she saw the bruising on her face, the tears started again. Why can’t she just break away from him? She’s been putting up with this shit for a year and a half.

She’s young, 19, and she already feels nothing good will ever come her way.

The longer she looks at her bruised face, her hopelessness turns to anger. How dare he lay a hand on her. How dare he call her a bitch.

She packs up some things and leaves. He doesn’t stop her because he knows she’ll be back. And she is, 3 days later. 3 days of him saying I’m sorry, I love you, It will never happen again.

After she comes back, the cycle starts again. At first he’s on his best behavior. Then the yelling begins. Why did you look at him you fucking bitch? You just said you would be gone for an hour. What were you doing? Who were you with?

He goes back to using his fists to show what kind of man he is. A pathetic man. A fucking coward.

Like all the other times, he says he’s sorry and begs her to stay.

She’s done. She knows she deserves much better. Believing that she deserves better takes longer to accept.

She leaves but this time, the fourth time, it’s for good. He makes her life hell for several more months and threatens her but she doesn’t come back.

She’s finally free. And happy.

I’m finally free.

No matter what he tells you, there is nothing in this world that makes you deserve to be physically, verbally, or emotionally abused. Nothing At All.

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7 Responses to Leave.

  1. The Last Girl Standing April 6, 2011 at 20:29 #

    Wow. Powerful, poignant, sad and, yet, inspirational. Beautifully written. Something every woman should read. *hugs*

  2. themomsmith April 6, 2011 at 20:30 #

    I was in a relationship like that once upon a time. Hugs to you sweet lady!

  3. Mcai7td3 April 7, 2011 at 08:58 #

    Very sad and still such a difficult thing for people to tackle, really well written. xx

  4. Mom April 7, 2011 at 09:28 #

    You are very brave for writing this. I remember my anger when you called for me to come get you. I wanted to punch him in the face. I am so thankful you were able to get away. Love, Mom

  5. Marianna Annadanna April 7, 2011 at 15:14 #

    Hugs.

  6. Kara April 7, 2011 at 16:57 #

    So I know that we don’t actually know each other, and I don’t want to be the creepy person that comments on your posts… but I really want to commend you for having the strength to leave. I work in a counselling centre for abuse victims, and I know how difficult it can be to leave. On average, a woman leave 7 times before she leaves for good – don’t ever fault yourself for going back, you left in the end and thats what matters. I am so sorry you had to go through that – nobody (and i cannot stress this enough) deserves to be hurt in any way. Everyone deserves love and respect. I hope that you are healing after this part of your life.

    I saw your Mum’s post above and I want to say thank you to her – thank you for helping your daughter through it. I am saddened to see so many family members in other situations minimize the abuse, or make excuses for it.

    🙂 I am glad I stumbled across your blog – this just shows me how damn strong you are!!!

  7. Elle April 11, 2011 at 01:06 #

    Thank you everyone.

    @Kara, Your words mean so much. 8 years ago I volunteered at a Women’s Shelter but before that I had to have over 40 hours of training. While I knew firsthand about going through this, the training really opened my eyes and helped me heal.

    The most common question when it comes to this is “why don’t you just leave” but it isn’t so simple.

    It was so hard to hear stories of abuse, much worse than mine. Since I made it to the other side, I wanted so much for these women to know that they deserve happiness, respect, and love without violence but not all of them felt that way since their self-worth was ripped from them.

    As you know, no matter what is said or the amount of information they have, women in this type of relationship can take several months or even years to get to the point where they finally leave for good. Sometimes they never leave….

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