When you care enough to scare your kid and want to pay for a lifetime of therapy, take them to see the Easter Bunny.

In the first 2 years of the hummingbird’s life, we haven’t taken her to see Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. She’s like me in that she has to hang back and take in a situation first before she gets comfortable so I had a feeling if we took her, she would freak out.

The past few weeks I started thinking I was depriving my little girl of these things and when I saw that the Easter Bunny would be at the mall on Saturday and that the picture would be free, I couldn’t pass it up.

I figured if things went bad but we didn’t have to pay any money then it would still be a win for us. Oh, how wrong I was.

I might be in the minority here but I think it’s kind of odd that people are so willing to throw their kids onto the laps of Santa Claus and The Easter Bunny.

From a kids point of view it would seem terrifying. My daughter has a few stuffed bunnies but then we take her to see a ginormous bunny who’s bigger than her dad and can probably crush his skull in. Cute? I think not.

When someone gets too close to the hummingbird while saying how adorable she is and so much as pats her on the head, I think to myself oh my gawd, I don’t know you and you’re touching my child so back off. If I’m holding her, I start moving around like I have to pee, hoping it will make it more difficult for the person to be all touchy as I’m swinging the hummingbird to the right and left.

But hey, let’s hand my child over to some stranger because they’re dressed up as a bunny. That’s totally normal.

What really creeps me out about the whole bunny business is I have no idea who’s in the costume. For all I know it could be someone who hasn’t quite made the transition to full zombie status and they’re in the middle of a pre-zombie tweak out.

Worse yet, it could be Charlie Sheen, although I have no idea what he would be doing in a small city in Northern California dressed as a bunny come to think of it, dressing up as a bunny would be tame for him and I’m pretty sure there aren’t an abundance of hookers where I live but I could be wrong since I’m not privy when it comes to all things hooker-ish hooker-y?.

Sorry, didn’t mean to offend. I meant to say “high-class call girls” because everyone knows they’re more classy than hookers. *snort* After all, they have “class” in their name. *double snort*

So against my better judgment will I ever learn? we took her to see the Easter Bunny. We were running late because of me and got to the mall about 20 minutes before the bunny was going to hop off.

While we were waiting in line, I didn’t see any other kids freak out so I started to think maybe my daughter would be okay with this after all. I also think my hairdresser left the bleach on my hair a little too long the last time I saw her and the fumes must have gotten to me.

I always imagine the people who dress up in these costumes go to some bar later I know I would after spending a day with an endless amount of kids and relay their tales of the worst kids they had to deal with. My little girl was most likely on that list.

The little hummingbird’s reaction was pretty much what I expected:

She started kicking her little legs and screaming while my husband was handing her over and I’m sure Charlie Sheen the guy has bruises all over and is temporarily deaf. What you can’t see is my hubby crouching down beside the hummingbird, trying to hold her legs still.

After we scarred her for life, we let her play over by her favorite fountain at the mall and all was well again I should just photoshop the Easter Bunny into the picture below:
Once she was calm and happy, we started walking back to the car and came across a person dressed up as a bunny in front of some store while passing out gift cards. The little hummingbird was like screw this bunny stuff, freaked out again, and we quickly walked by. Now, if we even mention Easter and Bunny in the same sentence she starts to whimper.

It’s safe to say we won’t be seeing the Easter Bunny for a very long time.

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19 Responses to When you care enough to scare your kid and want to pay for a lifetime of therapy, take them to see the Easter Bunny.

  1. TheBoyandMe April 25, 2011 at 00:41 #

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen such an adverse reaction to a supposedly cute figure before, God love her. And I say supposedly cute because could they have gone for a scarier costume? Where’s the cutey cartoon type? The rabbit from Donnie Darko would be friendlier!

    I didn’t manage to get The Boy to see Father Christmas last year and we don’t have Easter Bunnies dressed up like that (thank God). I am a bit scared of his reaction!

    • Elle April 25, 2011 at 09:40 #

      Yeah, I don’t think we’re going to take her to see Santa Claus this year either, lol. Last year my husband took our daughter somewhere and Santa Claus was there. She freaked out just by getting a glimpse at him. 😉

  2. themrs April 25, 2011 at 10:13 #

    i don’t blame her. i totally draw the line at sitting on laps of men dressed as animals. men dressed as fire fighters? i’m THERE. giant bunnies? no thanks. next year take her to the fire station. if she has any estrogen in her at ALL she’ll be jumping on those guys faster than you can say easter bunny! (your welcome for this excellent, free parenting advice!)

    • Elle April 25, 2011 at 12:34 #

      If I took her to sit on the lap of a fire fighter, she would have to outrun me first. I just love firemen! 😀

  3. EL April 25, 2011 at 17:37 #

    Poor baby!
    All our Santa pics are of Dad and child(ren) squatting down NEXT to the fat guy…
    Luckily she’ll not remember this trauma! lol

    • Elle April 25, 2011 at 18:26 #

      I hope she doesn’t remember it. I’ll never forget so I might need the therapy instead. 😉 I was telling my mom about this and she told me I flipped out when she took me to see Santa Claus and she’s still traumatized over it. lol.

  4. Elle P. April 25, 2011 at 18:49 #

    Hello?!?! http://www.spill-the-beans.net/2011/03/evil-bunny/

    Easter bunnies are f’ing creepy. *shudder*

    • Elle April 25, 2011 at 19:20 #

      I wish I had a scanner so I could put up the “official” photo we were given. The bunny looks like he’s about to go on a murder spree.

  5. Wildcatter's Wife April 26, 2011 at 15:25 #

    Poor thing! I remember being scared at around that age when my parents sat me down on Frankenstein’s lap for a Halloween photo op. Horrible. Just horrible experience.

  6. Sarah April 26, 2011 at 15:45 #

    Okay This post has me laughing out loud, poor little hummingbird!!

    Although I have to admit, that will be a great photo to pull out on her wedding day.

    Happy ICLW!!

    #96

  7. Melanie Jane April 26, 2011 at 18:51 #

    I can actually testify that Santa Claus goes to the bar after work! At a family wedding at the Mission Inn in Riverside, CA we ended up at the bar after getting kicked out of the reception hall and the guy who was dressed up as Santa walked in and had a beer with us.

    He was actually really awesome…

  8. Jen {at} take2mommy April 27, 2011 at 07:55 #

    My boys were the same way with Santa. All throughout ages 1-4 they were beyond terrified to sit on his lap. Now at ages 5 and 6 they’re too cool for it. But it’s true – you never know who is in that costume! Did you see Bad Santa?

  9. hopeauthority April 27, 2011 at 21:13 #

    OMG I have the SAME picture of my daughter screaming on the lap of the EB. Never did go back… thanks for the flashback. my girl’s 13. it goes fast.
    ICLW #156 Tracey

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