I know that you now have like 800 channels and I’m the one who talked you into getting a DVR so you would never miss anything but please slooowly step away from your television.
It’s hard but I know you can do it.
There was that movie you told me I just had to watch with the penis that becomes detached from some dude’s body and goes on a killing rampage and when I asked you if it was a porno you said “oh no, it’s nothing like that” and then when I watched this movie, I saw that Ron Jeremy was in it which means it totally was. The joke was on me.
A killer penis and Ron Jeremy? Thanks mom. Now I have to bleach my brain.
I asked what else you’ve been watching and when you told me, I about toppled over and died which is pretty much impossible for me to do considering I inherited my
crazy personality from you.
Every time I talk to you, you tell me that you’ve watched like 100 movies in the past few days and here I’m stuck watching the Sprout channel all day long with Caillou, singing muppets, dancing mice, and creepy trains that have eyes. Then you ask what recent movies I’ve seen. What a way to push the knife in deeper.
With the exception of watching the Royal Wedding, you have to start reading the book you started before I did and that I started reading because you were but now you aren’t reading because of television. I’m up to page 840 now and you’re still on page 112ish…since February.
I have 200 more pages to go and at this rate, by the time you finish the book, I’ll probably have read it a few more times. So put the remote down and make a dent in your book so we can talk about Under The Dome. I’ve already predicted what’s likely going to be one of the discussions.
You: Sweetie, remember that part where that guy did that thing? Me: You mean that guy who did that big thing or the other guy? You: Let me think. It was the guy who did that thing. Me: Um, mom that’s not helping. What was his name? You: Hmmm….I’m not sure but it was that guy who did that thing at that place. Oh, his name was Bill. Me: You mean Dale. You: Yeah, that’s the guy. Now, what did he do?
See how awesome our conversations are. That’s why you need to start reading the book again.
You totally didn’t think I would write this did you? I told you I would. 😀
Of course you knew I wrote this because I called you and read this to you before I posted it.
Your smartass daughter