When you want to take someone’s cell phone and stick it where the sun doesn’t shine. Not your unshiney spot, their unshiney spot. Unless you’re into that sort of thing and if you are then ewww.

*This post was inspired by a dumbass I kept coming across at the grocery store. Thank you for being a dumbass, dumbass.

You know what drives me crazy? Well, I’ll tell you anyway. People on their damn cell phones. Not all people on their phones, just the idiots. Sometimes I’ll come across people who are talking on their cell and then realize there’s no phone & they’re just crazy.

Then there are people who I think are crazy and talking to themselves but they’ll be talking on their phone. It’s so confusing and makes my brain hurt.

I hate it when someone will be talking on their cell while looking right at me (I’ll have no idea that they’re using a bluetooth) and I’ll think wtf are they talking about but I still try to give an answer. But then they look at me like I’m the crazy one and I’ll say “sorry, thought you were talking to me” which will just add to the confusion.

Or when someone is on their phone but they ask me a question and I can’t hear them so I say “sorry?” and they’ll say it again but I still can’t hear them damn rock concerts.

I’ll reply by telling them my name since it seems like a safe bet or just laugh and then I come to find out something like they were either asking for directions or saying they’re having a bad day so while talking on the phone, they’re also talking to me they must not believe in ending the call they’re on and revealing way too much info like the people on those reality cop shows who just make things worse and more awkward by telling their whole life story when they really just need to shut it.

Pretty much what I do on my blog.

Every time I go to the grocery store there seems to be at least one person on their phone that is giving a run down on every freaking product in the store and doing it as loud as possible.

Like the person they’re talking to has never been to the freaking store.

“I’m in the milk section now. What kind did you want? Low fat? Was that regular milk, almond milk, soy milk? Oh, you want non fat soy milk? I’m not sure if they have non fat soy milk, let me check. No, they don’t have it but they have a buy one get one free of the low-fat soy milk. Do you want that one? Well which kind do you want then?”

That’s the point when I want to grab the phone from them and yell “come to the damn store and pick it out yourself”

It seems like no matter what aisle I go to, even if I skip a few aisles to avoid this person, they’re never far behind or they actually end up ahead of me.

I love my cell phone but some people need to know when to put it down. Over the weekend my hubby took the hummingbird to the aquarium and saw a man talking on his cell with a minivan full of kids while parallel parking.

I have a hard enough time parking in a regular spot because of people who park their big ass SUV’s in compact parking spaces. If I have no choice but to parallel park, there’s a lot of cursing and meltdowns on my part, even with two hands.

It’s times like this when I don’t regret the fact that I like animals more than people. Well, at least until animals figure out how to use cell phones and I’m sure if my daughter is already a pro with mine, our cat won’t be far behind because she’s one smart pussy.

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2 Responses to When you want to take someone’s cell phone and stick it where the sun doesn’t shine. Not your unshiney spot, their unshiney spot. Unless you’re into that sort of thing and if you are then ewww.

  1. Elle P. May 2, 2011 at 19:37 #

    Compact parking spaces?

    And also? I’ve learned to accept that most people are just dumb. How else would the national average IQ be 100? 🙂

  2. Marianna Annadanna May 3, 2011 at 15:53 #

    I hate people too. Like you, not all the people, just the idiots. 🙂

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