The time when my in-laws invited themselves to my sister’s wedding and she wanted to kill me and then my mom ended up wanting to kill them only 2 hours after being in their presence.

After writing my recent post about my in-laws, it reminded me of my in-laws coming to my sister’s wedding.  It also made me think of how my mother-in-law ruined my own wedding but I’ll write that novel some other time.

When I went back to read this post, my in-laws didn’t seem as bad as what they’re really like. Also, my mom was telling me less than an hour ago that she keeps checking her email for my sister’s wedding post and asked me what the deal was so I had to rush this. I told her I was taking a break and she was like What do you mean?….You can’t stop blogging!…. Are you quitting your blog?!…You can’t do that!

I said No mom, I just wanted a little break. It’s only been 2 days since my last post. Don’t worry.

I have no idea where in the world I get my high anxiety genes come from. ;^)

Okay, so let’s get down to business.

My in-laws live about 6 hours from my sister and stepdad. My stepdad isn’t technically my stepdad anymore since my mom and him are no longer together.

I still call him my dad but it’s all confusing and I would need to write another post that would involve some Melrose Place shit because I’d have to include my sperm donor. My mom moved away but now she’s back in the same area as my sister and stepdad.

Since I worry that my in-laws will somehow find my blog, which is why I don’t use my hubby and daughter’s real names here although I sometimes do when I comment on other blogs, I don’t want to write the state where they live so instead I’ll just say they live where President Kennedy was shot.

No, not the exact location…smartass. heh. It’s not like they have a tent set up on the grassy knoll but I could see them doing something weird like that. My family lives in a different state but it’s still close seeing as how it’s only a 6 hour drive.

I can’t remember exactly what my sister said when I told her the in-laws wanted to go to her wedding but it was a good thing I asked her over the phone. After asking her and talking a bit, my sister finally and very reluctantly said they could come.

It was pretty much like What the @$#%! There’s no way I want those $%^&$#@ #$%@! at my $#@!%#$ wedding. Ugh! #$%$#@# fine. They can %^$#@#! come as long as I don’t see that much of their $%^&#$% faces. %#!$%$#@ thanks a lot, sis.

As you can see, my sister took it pretty well. Since I’m not using my sister’s real name, I had asked her what she wants me to use when I told her I’m writing this and she told me Alotta Fagina. So, there you go sis. Now get a damn computer so you can read this.

My husband and I were living in Southern California back then and he was stationed in San Diego. Maybe my common sense doesn’t have any sense to it but because we were going to Alotta Fagina’s wedding *giggles*, we were flying from San Diego to where my sister lived the day before the wedding. As usual my in-laws made it so much more fucking complicated than it needed to be.

My hubby was being deployed soon and at first we didn’t even know if he would be able to go because he was on a ship and had a lot to do at work to prepare for deployment since he was the Supply Officer. The wedding was on a Saturday and he worked his ass off so he could get off on Friday so we could fly out.

The in-laws had assumed we were flying from SD to where they lived and planned to have the four of us drive those 6 hours together. I’ve been in a car with them for several hours before, the whole time thinking Help Me!, and I would have rather jumped out of a moving car than had to have been inside with them. They also knew that my hubby was in a time crunch but they still wanted us to fly where they live a few days before the wedding.

I get them wanting to spend time with their son but they had just visited us and this whole trip was about going to my sister’s wedding. I know when the little hummingbird grows up NOOOOOO!!!!! and moves away I’ll want to see her every chance I get but if she’s going to the wedding of her husband’s (or wife’s) sibling and even if it’s nearby, I wouldn’t invite myself. My in-laws could give a flying leap about my sister’s wedding and since that was obvious, it made me feel stabby.

They did this same kind of thing last summer when we were moving from the D.C. area to Northern California and I got a chance to see my stepdad and sister, along with her kids (you can read about that here). I hadn’t seen them in over 3 years but my in-laws, that had recently visited us for the hummingbird’s first birthday, invited themselves. They have a lot of time to go wherever they want and the means to do so but my family doesn’t so it sucks that they do this.

I think the in-laws emailed the plans for us to fly down to see them for a few days and my hubby had to call them for the eleventy billionth time to tell them we can’t do that. It’s so hard for him to say no to them because he doesn’t want to hurt their feelings but he reminded them that we’re just flying from SD straight to where my sister lives.

That’s when one of them suggested us flying out Thursday night to where they live, after my hubby spent a tiresome day at work. I thought you’ve gotta be kidding me?! They really don’t get it even if you spell it out for them. Finally my hubby had to be firm with them and said we’ll meet them at the hotel on Friday before Alotta Fagina’s rehearsal dinner.

After dealing with all of the phone calls and emails because they kept on pressuring us to visit them before the wedding, I was emotionally exhausted. My hubby and I flew out on Friday and met the in-laws at the hotel. It was an hour or so before the dinner and I just wanted to relax and watch some hotel room porn television but they wanted to go see the sights. Uhh, there really isn’t anything to see where my sister lives.

She doesn’t live in Footloose, USA anymore and lives in an even smaller town with just a few hundred people. The “big” city nearby isn’t that big but the in-laws insisted on going out to see the sights which pretty much meant looking at fields of grass and cows. From the start my mother-in-law had an attitude with me. She always seems to think if my hubby disagrees with her, like he did when it came to this whole trip, it’s because of me which isn’t true.

My MIL knew that I didn’t know much about the area where we were but she kept on treating me like I was their tour guide and would get pissy because I wouldn’t know where things were.

By the time we got to the restaurant for the rehearsal dinner, I was so done with my in-laws and looked forward to being around other people. With the exception of my mom, sister, stepdad, and the groom, I didn’t know anyone else at the dinner. I’m painfully shy around strangers but once I get to know someone I never shut the hell up so I was mostly listening to others in the group, about 15 or so people and that’s just a guesstimate.

My MIL expected me to introduce her to everyone but I didn’t know who they were so she got even more pissy with me. After dinner, everyone was out in the parking lot talking with each other and some were thinking about going out somewhere else and there were a few different ideas being tossed around. I didn’t mind where we went, plus I was hoping the in-laws wouldn’t want to go.

Everyone was standing around together, talking and having a good time. That’s when my mother-in-law turned to me and said Well, don’t just stand there being useless and tell us what we’re going to do.

The group went quiet and looked at us. You could hear a pin drop and I could tell people were like WTF? I don’t remember what I said but I know I was so much nicer to her than what she deserved. I think I just asked her what would she like to do.

My MIL countinued to be bitchy to me in front of everyone. I felt humiliated and was so embarrassed. I know she should have been the one who was embarrassed by her behavior but that will never happen.

I ended up just going back to the hotel instead of with the others, hoping to decompress but naturally my in-laws wanted to hang out in our hotel room. The next day my in-laws wanted to get up bright and early to see more of the non-existent sights in the area and they insisted my hubby go along. I was annoyed because I wanted my husband to be with me and my family before the wedding since that’s what we had planned.

My mom picked me up at the hotel and she was furious with my MIL, like wanting to rip her head off furious. She told me that she was shocked and so were the others in the group about the way my MIL talked to me. My FIL and hubby don’t usually seem to notice her behavior and I think it’s because they’re just so used to it. I’ve been dealing with her for 16 years but I’ll never be used to it.

I wasn’t around for this but my sister told me that my in-laws came up to her and her new hubby after the ceremony to congratulate them. The problem? Alotta Fagina was talking to her hubby’s friend and the in-laws didn’t know that wasn’t her hubby. Another thing my sister told me is something my MIL did to her hubs.

At the reception there was the wedding cake but Alotta’s hubby really wanted a chocolate cream pie that his grandmother made for him. He was trying to get to the pie before it was all gone and he was able to get the last piece. As he was walking back to the table, my MIL walked right up to him and said that’s my piece, right? then took his plate from him before he could say anything.

It’s safe to say they ended up pissing off plenty of people that weekend with their antics. It’s really more of my mother-in-law but my FIL can make people crazy with his endless conversations that are usually one-sided. I think people who’ve been raised by wolves have better manners than my mother-in-law.

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9 Responses to The time when my in-laws invited themselves to my sister’s wedding and she wanted to kill me and then my mom ended up wanting to kill them only 2 hours after being in their presence.

  1. siggiofmaine June 12, 2011 at 20:43 #

    WoW ! What a wedding…and the energy it took to be there, doubled by writing it…well it would for me. Thank you for the play by play on the wedding. I am new to blogging…but will follow your blog…reminds me of people I know … and this is the opposite end of the country ! Siggi of Maine.wordpress.com (the computer is denying my entries unless I go in under anonymous today)

  2. Mcai7td3 June 13, 2011 at 15:33 #

    Omg she doesnt fail to astound does she? Poor Groom, I can’t believe she just took the pie clean out of his hands. I don’t know how you manage to keep your cool around them!

  3. Maile June 14, 2011 at 09:34 #

    I would seriously lose my shit with that woman! if i ever see her I will yell at her for you

  4. Dangerboy June 14, 2011 at 10:37 #

    Holy crap what is it with crazy people? I am so glad I won the in-law lottery. I can only imagine how you don’t commit at least a misdemeanor every time you see her.

  5. Mom June 14, 2011 at 17:30 #

    This is all sad but true. Elle has been more than patient with her in laws. I always told her to “bloom where planted” every time she had to move. I also told her to reach her hand out in friendship with her mom-in-law but her mil always seems to pull back.

  6. improvingwithoutcounting June 14, 2011 at 18:53 #

    My fiance and I were talking about the pie incident:
    Me: *gasps, reads it aloud* … I think I would unlatch my jaws and just *hand motions* bite her head off RIGHT THERE.
    Fiance: *laughing* They probably wouldn’t even arrest you for it, in fact they would probably thank you since it’s a MIL.
    Me: *laughing*
    Fiance: Everyone’s gathered around, blood’s still flowing from the neck, and the head detective comes over and says to you, “So, do you think you could come to my house for Thanksgiving?”

  7. js9798 June 18, 2011 at 02:15 #

    And I thought I was the only one who had a MIL from Hell… I relate all too well.. right down to my MIL living in SD too.. maybe it’s the state???.. nah, I’ve met lots of nice people there. And I congratulate you on holding back when she made her ‘useless comment’.. I did that for many years too.. then a few years back on Christmas morning.. the old battle axe and I got into a BIG fight.. so bad, my husband(who’s now my EX-husband) had to stand between the two of us. You have no idea how badly I wanted to lay her ass on the floor.. The good news is that since getting divorced, I haven’t had to see her or talk to her in over two years!! I wish you luck.. you’re gonna need it:))

  8. Karen June 23, 2011 at 21:08 #

    Loved this! My MIL and FIL are also so horrendously awful that my coworkers beg to hear a story every time they invite themselves for a visit. They have ruined every b-day of my kids for me, the first night home from the hospital with our oldest, and most holidays. Glad I’m not the only one. 🙂

  9. momma June 25, 2011 at 16:48 #

    Word, sister. I asked for a prescription for Ativan for the B day parties, just so I wouldn`t rip off my MIL or SIL heads. They seem to have the same manners that your in laws do.

    I love Ativan. It probably saved my marriage, no shit.

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