Butt Seriously!

My brain hasn’t been working this week. It’s on strike. The little hummingbird has been back to battling bedtime and I’m exhausted so when I attempt to write, it ends up being like what you’re reading now. 

I tried a new approach with her a few weeks ago. It’s something I just pulled out of my ass one night. I’ve found that that’s what parenting is mostly about. You pull something out of your ass and hope it works. If not, you keep pulling things out of your ass.

Like my underwear. Maybe my ass is telling me it’s time for new underwear. Or it’s telling me to stop eating those peanut butter filled pretzels late at night.

What I started doing was taking the hummingbird around her room so she can say goodnight to her things, hoping that her room doesn’t seem as scary to her. We look out the window and I say goodnight outside, we’ll see you tomorrow and she waves goodbye, then we do that with some other things in her room.

It seemed to work and my hubby and I were thinking Yay! but she’s over it and so it’s been taking us 2-3 hours to get her to bed again. After she goes to bed, it’s really my only time to blog and reply to comments but it’s hard to do anything when she’s screaming bloody murder. My brain melts.

My hubby and I don’t run to her with each whimper but I wouldn’t say we let her cry it out either. It’s somewhere in the middle. I know her cries really well, which is something I didn’t quite get pre-hummingbird when I would hear people say they know their kids cries, and if she’s doing her I want to party all night and I’m pissed that you put me to bed cry, I let her know I’m still here and give her MWAH kisses outside her room.

Anyway, since my brain is on strike this week, I’m pulling this post out of my ass. I hope I don’t end up pulling a rabbit out of there.

July 2nd is my 1 year blogoversary and I will probably celebrate by writing a rambling post. Much like this one, just without so much ‘ass’ in it. I know after I put up this post, I’ll regret it because I’ll have pervy people looking up all kinds of ass things and finding my blog.

Less than a week after my blogoversary, it’s my 16 year wedding anniversary. People have been asking what my hubby and I have planned. If we have any time to actually do something, I’m going to sleep. And I don’t mean put the hummingbird in her crib along with some toys so mommy and daddy can go in the bedroom and shut the door “sleep”, it will be sleep sleep. Maybe I’ll wear my fancy pajama boxers that night, the ones without the holes in them. I’ll be all kinds of snazzy.

My MIL’s birthday is also coming up. To get her back for the way she acts towards me, I like getting her funny cards that I know she doesn’t like and makes her cringe. I usually take more time to choose a cringeworthy card for her but found one last month that I thought would get the job done. Luckily, it doesn’t take much to offend her which I find ironic seeing as how she usually offends everyone she comes across.

This is something we got in the mail yesterday. It was addressed to my father-in-law and I don’t know why it was sent to us. Since my hubby and I are rebels, we illegally opened up my FIL’s junk mail. I know, we’re totally wild! My husband was being a smartass and was saying we should forward this to his dad and I told him noooo, this is something he doesn’t need to see. Then when I was telling my mom about this, she said she gets one of these at least once a year. Wha?

So, this is the kind of mail we have to look forward to when we get older.

When my hubby opened it and read the letter, he found you have to enter to win a cremation. Uh….yay??

Here’s my mother-in-law’s birthday card that I know she will absolutely hate love.

Butt seriously (heh), I have so much stuff floating around in my head and hope my brain starts working soon so I can write it down.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. MWAH!

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14 Responses to Butt Seriously!

  1. Sarah M June 24, 2011 at 11:23 #

    I am having bedtimes battles and unfortunately it goes in waves sometimes we will go weeks without a battle but this past week it has been horrible made even more horrific is that my husband is working the afternoon shift. 4-12 but we live 1hr20min from his work and he leaves at 2 because he has to be there 10mins before….long story short I have them 95% of the time these 2 weeks!!!
    my brain is also on vacation which then leads to arguments with a 3 year old when we are both exhausted…I am at a loss as to what to do I have tried everything like putting her back in bed over and over doesn’t work she thinks its a game “aren’t you going to put me back in bed?” AHHH
    but what has become an issue now is that her 5 month old sister is in the room with her so allowing her to scream and carry on is not an option. Ignoring her is nearly impossible when she stands right in front of me trying to make eye contact saying mommy mommy mommy….I am laughing now but it is so not funny when It’s MOMMY’s TIME GO TO BED!!! and then she will go all sad faced and say all i wanted was a kiss….well now I feel like a shit except that i had just left her room after a big hug and many kisses so she so knows how to work….just another one of those testing boundries phases that I am currently losing….hopefully something I can pull something useful out of my ass!!!

    • Elle June 26, 2011 at 10:26 #

      I wish I could give you a hug. Not having a break for the last 2 weeks? You deserve a spa day! My little girl has been testing boundries more and more and I just know it will get worse as she gets older.

      My daughter’s sensitive like me and there have been times where I’ve raised my voice and I’ll feel horrible because her eyes tear up, she sticks her lower lip out, and will end up bursting into tears.

      I hope we both survive our kid’s bedtime battles. xx

  2. themrs June 24, 2011 at 15:07 #

    i (try) to never offer unsolicited advice, but if you’d like to chat about bedtime routines email me on FB. you know where to find me. i’ve done this a few times 😉

    • Elle June 26, 2011 at 10:27 #

      Thank you. I already went to FB and sent you a message. 🙂

  3. Wombat Central June 24, 2011 at 16:26 #

    I, too, usually don’t hand out unsolicited advice, so I’ll just say Ferber. Helped us and our kids get more sleep. Then I met the Interwebs. Now I’z tired again.

    • Elle June 26, 2011 at 10:30 #

      I’ve read about the Ferber method when the hummingbird was first born. Looks like I need to go back and brush up. The last part of your comment had me cracking up. I’ll end up on the computer late at night since it’s the only time I can be on it in peace. 😉

  4. happinessafterheartache June 24, 2011 at 19:18 #

    I thought this was a great post, very honest. Seems like (maybe) you decompressed a little. Pre-paid cremation, seriously? I guess that’s just as bad/worse than having my grandmother’s name and birthdate on her gravestone 10 years before she died. Easier for the engraver I guess.

    • Elle June 26, 2011 at 10:32 #

      Whenever I’ve seen that on gravestones, I’ve found it odd since someone hasn’t passed away yet and it seems like the engraver is antsy. Almost like they’re saying hurry up already.

  5. Mcai7td3 June 24, 2011 at 23:32 #

    The card looks very funny. Wouldn’t it be perfect if it played some doggy tune when you opened it? I wonder if she’ll even put it up!

    Do you think anyone gets the “win a cremation” post and genuinely gets really excited? There are some strange people out there.

    • Elle June 26, 2011 at 10:36 #

      I know she doesn’t put up my cards anymore. Last year her church group came over and saw one I gave her and she was really embarrassed. heehee. 😀

      I know, it’s so weird about the cremation. Would someone be all excited and say “Woohoo, I won a cremation!”

  6. sarahwinters June 25, 2011 at 14:33 #

    You have a great blog! I love the card! My little 9 month old is killing us in the sleep area. So I hear ya’! Right now I couldn’t be more of a zombie mom, if I were a real zombie… In looks as well as thoughts, movement, and voice. And my hubby, 14 year old and 11 year old keep letting me know that I ‘look like (I) haven’t slept in weeks.’
    I couldn’t agree more about the ass-hat trick, I’ve been pulling ideas out of my ass for near 15 years now and it NEVER stops. From punishments to entertainment ideas… mom’s ass pull is never off duty and I’m wedgy free too. LOL!
    Sarah

    • Elle June 26, 2011 at 10:38 #

      I hope you get some sleep soon. At least you’re wedgie free. 😉

  7. marie June 26, 2011 at 06:27 #

    You can never have enough “ass” (in uh, posts, right? Yea..Thats what I mean) 🙂 congrats on the 1 year, I figured you’d had this for a few years since I was a newcomer this year-now i feel fancy for coming across a cool new blog now.

    • Elle June 26, 2011 at 10:40 #

      Yep, one can never have enough ass. Lol! And thank you. 🙂

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