Number twelve looks just like you.

I hope everyone celebrating the 4th of July is having a great day!

They cancelled the fireworks where I live and also imposed a $1,ooo fine for anyone setting them off. That hasn’t stopped the obnoxious douchebags setting them off all weekend at like 2 in the morning. We live in military housing and nobody has been setting them off in our neighborhood but I’ve been hearing them nearby.

I actually wouldn’t have a problem with the fireworks if these people did it earlier than 2 am when my daughter is sound asleep. I’m afraid it will wake her up and then I would have to hunt down these people, stick a bottle rocket up their butt, and light it. Even with a $1,000 fine, it would be so worth it.

Sunday I woke up and felt awful so I think I have some kind of plague. Luckily the little hummingbird hasn’t shown any signs of being sick or my hubby. I’m stuck in a cold medicine haze and taking it easy while the hubby tries to keep up with our little girl. I’m enjoying the hell out of that part of being sick. At least until he goes back to work tomorrow and then I’ll have to be the one racing around with the plague and making sure the hummingbird doesn’t get into much trouble. *cries*

I’ve been in a Twilight Zone marathon coma since yesterday. I freaking love the TZ marathons. One of my all time favorites is when aliens come down to earth and some people try to decipher a book one of the aliens left behind at a press conference. It ends up being called “To Serve Man” and what one guy doesn’t find out until the end while he’s boarding a spaceship is that it’s actually a cookbook. Awesome!

Other favs (writing them all would take forever); the one where the earth is moving closer to the sun, the young woman trying to fight being made “perfect” (hence the name of this post), and the one where the little girl falls out of her bed and through her wall into another dimension. I saw that episode when I was younger and it pretty much scarred me for life. I never wanted my bed near the wall after that.

Even now if we’re traveling and staying at a hotel, if the bed is too close to the wall, I won’t sleep on that side. Yes, I’m a freak.


I was able to read several blogs over the weekend and there were a few that had stories of the embarrassing things parents did when the now mamas were younger. It reminded me of something that happened when I was in high school.

My mom had this big ass Buick that even she didn’t like. There were a few times when she would be able to pick me up from school and while I liked that I didn’t have to ride the bus, the ginormous car would embarrass me. One time when she picked me up, she parked in the student parking lot that didn’t have parking bumps I think that’s what they’re called. They’re not speed bumps but I love it when there’s a sign for speed humps. It makes me giggle because I’m 12. but instead had this low chain going around the parking lot that was in the first row of spaces.

When I saw her park I said a quick goodbye to my friends hoping they wouldn’t see me get into this boat on wheels. Come to think of it, the car seemed as big as those duck boats that do those tours. I hopped in the car still hoping nobody would see me and my mom put the car in reverse. The freaking car wouldn’t move. She tried again and nothing.

She got out and saw the chain in the front of the parking space got stuck on the grill of the car. I thought I would die! We both tried to push on the hood of the car to get some momentum going  so we could get the front of the car to go up and down and get the chain unhooked but nada. By then some of my friends and other classmates obviously took notice. I was 16 and while my mom is the greatest mom in the universe, at that age everything my parents did seemed to embarrass me like every other 16-year-old.

With this spectacle, I thought for certain I would never be able to live this down. A few guys I was friends with, including one I had a huge crush on, came over while we were trying to unhook the chain from under the ginormous boat of a car. After a few minutes they were able to get us free and I was already planning on never going back to school ever again.

After that weekend, I was dreading the worst when I went back to school and while there were some jokes, it wasn’t that bad. A year or so later when my mom finally got a car that wasn’t embarrassing, guess who got the big ass boat car? It was all miiiine! Fortunately, the car died less than a year later.

I swear I didn’t have anything to do with its demise. Mostly not. Okay, maybe a little. No, really I didn’t.

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9 Responses to Number twelve looks just like you.

  1. L.A.C.E. July 4, 2011 at 16:26 #

    lol Oh the days of parents that seemed to live to embarass you. I’ve got their number now though. While I don’t live to embarass my children. I take pleasure in the moments I purposely embarass the crap out of my 13 year old. For me, it’s for all the rolled eyes, snarky attitude and ungratefulness he throws at me. pay back isn’t all that hard and it’s fun. For me at least lol

    Oh and Twilight Zone! It was wicked! I’m dating myself, but they don’t make shows like they used to.

    • Elle July 4, 2011 at 18:09 #

      Now I don’t feel so bad for looking forward to embarrassing my little girl when she gets older and paying her back for all of the tantrums. 🙂

  2. Melissa July 4, 2011 at 19:22 #

    I remember one weekend, back in high school, my older brother and I had the flu really bad at the same time. We spent an entire Saturday vegging out on the couch, eating countless bowls of orange Jello, and watching a Twilight Zone marathon. Best. Weekend. Ever. (minus the violent illness, of course)…My favorite episode is the one with the mannequins that don’t know they’re mannequins because they come alive for 24 hours, once a year, or something. I haven’t seen it in a while so I don’t really remember for sure. It doesn’t sound that creepy, but it kinda freaked me out, even though at the time I was a sophomore in high school, because mannequins themselves scare the hell out of me anyway. Probably because my stupid brother spend my childhood telling me if you didn’t watch the mannequins closely enough they’d move. Even now I still get the creeps when I walk past one…

    • Elle July 4, 2011 at 19:36 #

      That’s another TZ episode I love. The mannequin doesn’t know she’s one at first and she’s looking for a gold thimble. I was told something similiar about mannequins when I was younger, by an uncle or cousin, and they still freak me out.

  3. siggiofmaine July 4, 2011 at 21:10 #

    Elle…how frightful being that sick…hope you are starting to feel better.
    I missed the “cookbook” TZ…OMg…it would be sooo funny !
    Will have to watch for a TZ marathon and watch…guess I’m old enough for
    mental pauses so it’s okay.
    And as for embarrassing your teenage and breathing is enough.;-)
    It is amazing what embarrasses a child of that age…I didn’t even have to try,
    and it was “oh, mother, don’t embarrass me”…Of course once you figure out what
    really embarrasses them, you can do it more !
    And, my father would drive a car…usually a BIG one, until it fell apart…in 1963 a
    car dealer paid my father to keep the car and not trade it in…
    so yes, I got the car, with the exhaust coming in thru the floorboards so at 20 below
    zero I had to drive with the windows down !
    Tried to think of some thing to cheer you…

    ☮♥. Siggi in Maine, USA.

    • Elle July 5, 2011 at 10:44 #

      That is really funny and I laughed so hard that I ended up having a coughing fit but it was so worth it. Thanks for that! 🙂

  4. Mom July 5, 2011 at 15:00 #

    Like mother, like daughter. I also watched the TZ marathon. Great shows, I love them all. The apple doesnt fall far from the tree. Can’t wait to see what little girl inherits when she can drive.

  5. Abby July 5, 2011 at 17:01 #

    Enjoyed your blog! Browsed a little after being looped in by this post. You are a trip! I’ll be following along in the future!

  6. happinessafterheartache July 5, 2011 at 18:20 #

    I have never watched TZ (shame on me!) but the one with the “To serve humans” cookbook was spoofed in a very funny Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Episode.

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