There’s this wheelbarrow guy in our neighborhood who keeps dumping dirt by our house. He’s probably burying body parts which may include Mark Ruffalo’s missing legs.

Dude, where are my legs?

There’s this guy that my hubby and I have dubbed the “wheelbarrow guy” that has been dumping dirt by our house. I’m not sure exactly where he lives but he walks across the soccer field that’s across the street from our house, walks up our driveway, and dumps the dirt by the woodsy area next to our house.

When my husband first mentioned that he kept on seeing this guy, I feigned interest and said something like oh really, that’s weird which made my husband go into more detail than I wanted to know about the wheelbarrow guy.

Then I told him it’s kinda creepy that you know so much about our neighbors and he was like what’s wrong with knowing this stuff and I told him there’s nothing wrong with it but some of the things you know sounds like your some kind of stalkerish peeping Tom, maybe even a creepy serial killer and he said maybe I am, bwahahaha then I told him I’m not having sex with a serial killer even if said killer happens to be my husband but he still didn’t deny it and I think he’s trying to go for a possible murderous mystique to add some oomph to our sex life but that’s just freaky and while I like freaky, I’m not into serial killer freaky.

Anyway…

Recently, when the hummingbird was having “quiet time” meaning a naptime party in her room, I had just gotten out of the shower. The bathroom window looks out on the side of our house and the blinds were open a little when I saw the guy. It’s not like I want my neighbors to see me buck naked but they had recently moved back to India so as far as I knew, the house was still vacant.

At first I thought he was our new neighbor but then I saw he was walking back across the soccer field and pushing a wheelbarrow. Instead of taking advantage of the glorious free time I had, for the next half hour or so I watched this guy wheel dirt and dump it by our house while wondering what in the hell is this guy doing.

I’m easily entertained and have no life.

After that, me and my hubby made a game out of spotting this wheelbarrow guy, kind of like playing Where’s Waldo, and wherever we would be in the house, whoever spotted him first would yell out it’s the wheelbarrow guy. We would watch the guy from a window and the little hummingbird would look at us as if to say These people are my parents?! For real?!

My husband had the idea that maybe the guy is making a fish pond or something that was logical in his backyard. I had other thoughts. I told him I thought the guy was a serial killer who’s burying bodies by our house.

That’s usually my answer to anyone who seems suspicious. Creepy guy who only buys microwaveable meals at the store; serial killer who has no time to cook. Someone running down the street and isn’t wearing typical running clothes but instead looks like they just spontaneously started running; serial killer or shoplifter making a run for it. Anyone I don’t know who enters my house, be it a repairman, cable guy, etc; serial killer thanks mom for ramming that in my brain.

Because my husband can be just as twisted as me, he said it’s most likely not bodies the wheelbarrow guy is burying by our house because that would be harder to hide. He said the guy was probably chopping up the bodies and burying the parts by our house. Obviously my hubby and I watch way too much Dexter.

We haven’t spotted the wheelbarrow guy in a few weeks so he either got caught and is in jail or finished his serial killer project. I refuse to go over by where he was dumping all of that dirt since I’m afraid there will be a dismembered arm sticking up from the ground.

Here are some completely unnecessary pictures that tell the tale of the serial killer wheelbarrow guy.

Fyi, that’s not police tape around the soccer field, they recently seeded it. Allegedly.

He goes across the field and then crosses the street.

He gets our driveway dirty.

Then he dumps the body parts.

Not only do we have an infestation of damn gophers in our neighborhood, there’s also an abudance of bears and unicorns. The wheelbarrow guy better watch his back.

He’s the king of the wheeeelbarroooowwwwssss!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

12 Responses to There’s this wheelbarrow guy in our neighborhood who keeps dumping dirt by our house. He’s probably burying body parts which may include Mark Ruffalo’s missing legs.

  1. neeroc July 26, 2011 at 04:37 #

    That is really weird. Well once would be weird, that many times I know would be annoying and my husband would be all over him next time he was on the laneway, wondering WTF and dammit clean up your mess! But then again, he does yell at small children, flyer delivery people and the mailman for cutting across our lawn *g*

    • Elle July 26, 2011 at 07:45 #

      Those flyer people drive me crazy too. It’s like they’re spamming your house. 😉 I’ve gotten lucky a few times over the years and have heard or seen them so I’ve opened the door right when they were putting a flyer on our door and have scared the bejebus out of them. ha!

  2. Abby July 26, 2011 at 06:28 #

    OMG exactly WHERE is that unicorn going with this?!?! You are not alone, my mother instilled paranoia in me as it relates to the “all strangers are serial killers” theory.

    • Elle July 26, 2011 at 07:57 #

      The unicorn is going somewhere very dark. 😛 One of my favorite “momisms” was when I was living in Seattle and she was visiting me. It was late and we were walking by a group of people. She said we need to hold on to our purses because someone could steal them by coming up to us with scissors and cutting off the strap. I was like what the what? and haven’t let her forget it. 😉

  3. Cheryl M. July 26, 2011 at 08:26 #

    Yeah, my hubby wouldn’t put up with that either…nor would I. Hubby once greeted some Jehovah Witnesses and invited them in after telling them he worships the devil (BAHAHA! That still cracks me up! And no, it’s not true.).

    I would be all over that guy – wtf is he doing dumping his dirt in a yard that isn’t his, creeping out the neighbors, dirtying driveways, and being all freaky? I’d also make him move the pile he’d created. Our biggest neighbor problem right now is the lesbians that live next door. They’re two small dogs are always escaping and peeing on my flowers and shrubs, and they finally got their two small dogs to stop barking, then got a 3rd big dog that now riles them all up, and they waited until I wasn’t home and cut down a bunch of our trees. All I can say is that it’s good they’ve decided to move. (I have nothing against lesbians and had nothing to do with them moving – I swear!)

    • Elle July 28, 2011 at 00:44 #

      I’ll have to remember saying I worship the devil if Jehova Witnesses come knocking on my door. That’s awesome!

      There’s an incline where the freaky serial killer wheelbarrow guy dumps the dirt so it rolls down the hill. That’s a good thing since the body parts he gets rid of probably roll down the hill as well. 😉

  4. happinessafterheartache July 26, 2011 at 10:44 #

    I was laughing so hard at this. Plus, I clicked on the link to the naptime party and was falling on the floor laughing. Ariel has naptime parties, but they involve more singing than dancing and jumping. You’d think the hummingbird would be tired after all that partying. I too am ingrained with “everyone who comes to your house must be a seriel killer”. I’m having a guy come to build a shed in the yard next week and I’m thinking of lining people up to come over so I’m not alone while he’s here. Insane.

    • Elle July 28, 2011 at 00:49 #

      The little hummingbird *never* tires. Help me, Lol! Hmmm…so you’re having a shed built. Could it be to hide bodies? Kidding! 😀

  5. Suzi July 26, 2011 at 15:57 #

    OMG! I hate when repair/delivery people have to come when I’m home alone. My husband thinks I’m crazy! But it’s just a scary situation because you never really know…

    • Elle July 28, 2011 at 01:01 #

      My husband thinks I overreact too. If someone that I don’t know is coming over, I open up all of the blinds in the house and if possible call someone who’s home just to be safe while the person is in my house. If I can’t get ahold of anyone I’ll actually pretend to talk on the phone with someone. Yes, it’s weird but I rather be weird than dead.

      I’ve also called my hubby at work and will bring up that he’s coming home anytime. Of course he’s not and it confuses the hell out of my husband when I mention it and he’ll say “I’m not on my way home” so apparently he doesn’t care if some repairman kills me. 😛

  6. Marianna Annadanna July 27, 2011 at 16:03 #

    This is BRUTAL! What a douche! You should totally videotape his antics, then plant some old bones back there and call the cops. That should put an end to it pretty quickly.

    • Elle July 28, 2011 at 01:03 #

      That’s a good idea! Since my imagination runs wild, I was worried at one point that he was going to set us up for some murders. You’ve got to love anxiety….not! 😉

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge