There’s this guy that my hubby and I have dubbed the “wheelbarrow guy” that has been dumping dirt by our house. I’m not sure exactly where he lives but he walks across the soccer field that’s across the street from our house, walks up our driveway, and dumps the dirt by the woodsy area next to our house.
When my husband first mentioned that he kept on seeing this guy, I feigned interest and said something like oh really, that’s weird which made my husband go into more detail than I wanted to know about the wheelbarrow guy.
Then I told him it’s kinda creepy that you know so much about our neighbors and he was like what’s wrong with knowing this stuff and I told him there’s nothing wrong with it but some of the things you know sounds like your some kind of stalkerish peeping Tom, maybe even a creepy serial killer and he said maybe I am, bwahahaha then I told him I’m not having sex with a serial killer even if said killer happens to be my husband but he still didn’t deny it and I think he’s trying to go for a possible murderous mystique to add some oomph to our sex life but that’s just freaky and while I like freaky, I’m not into serial killer freaky.
Recently, when the hummingbird was having “quiet time” meaning a naptime party in her room, I had just gotten out of the shower. The bathroom window looks out on the side of our house and the blinds were open a little when I saw the guy. It’s not like I want my neighbors to see me buck naked but they had recently moved back to India so as far as I knew, the house was still vacant.
At first I thought he was our new neighbor but then I saw he was walking back across the soccer field and pushing a wheelbarrow. Instead of taking advantage of the glorious free time I had, for the next half hour or so I watched this guy wheel dirt and dump it by our house while wondering what in the hell is this guy doing.
I’m easily entertained and have no life.
After that, me and my hubby made a game out of spotting this wheelbarrow guy, kind of like playing Where’s Waldo, and wherever we would be in the house, whoever spotted him first would yell out it’s the wheelbarrow guy. We would watch the guy from a window and the little hummingbird would look at us as if to say These people are my parents?! For real?!
My husband had the idea that maybe the guy is making a fish pond or something that was logical in his backyard. I had other thoughts. I told him I thought the guy was a serial killer who’s burying bodies by our house.
That’s usually my answer to anyone who seems suspicious. Creepy guy who only buys microwaveable meals at the store; serial killer who has no time to cook. Someone running down the street and isn’t wearing typical running clothes but instead looks like they just spontaneously started running; serial killer or shoplifter making a run for it. Anyone I don’t know who enters my house, be it a repairman, cable guy, etc; serial killer
thanks mom for ramming that in my brain.
Because my husband can be just as twisted as me, he said it’s most likely not bodies the wheelbarrow guy is burying by our house because that would be harder to hide. He said the guy was probably chopping up the bodies and burying the parts by our house. Obviously my hubby and I watch way too much Dexter.
We haven’t spotted the wheelbarrow guy in a few weeks so he either got caught and is in jail or finished his serial killer project. I refuse to go over by where he was dumping all of that dirt since I’m afraid there will be a dismembered arm sticking up from the ground.
Here are some completely unnecessary pictures that tell the tale of the serial killer wheelbarrow guy.
Fyi, that’s not police tape around the soccer field, they recently seeded it. Allegedly.
He goes across the field and then crosses the street.
He gets our driveway dirty.
Then he dumps the body parts.
Not only do we have an infestation of damn gophers in our neighborhood, there’s also an abudance of bears and unicorns. The wheelbarrow guy better watch his back.
He’s the king of the wheeeelbarroooowwwwssss!