Totally confused.

I swear I know how to take the birth control pill. There have been times when I’ve forgotten to take it and the next day I’ve doubled up. Not long ago I thought I might be pregnant so I did what anyone would do.

I took the question to Twitter and mentioned that while I feel like I might be, I’m on the pill so I can’t see it being possible. I was expecting people to say there’s no way I could be but that didn’t happen.

I heard from people, including a few dads, who had gotten pregnant while on the pill. Obviously, the dads I heard from weren’t the ones who were pregnant. I took a pregnancy test 2 days later and it was negative.

I thought it was for the best because not only am I dealing with depression, as much as I want another baby I can easily wait another year, maybe longer, to have a second baby although my years to have another one are dwindling quickly.

I got sick last month and then got that awful sinus infection that I’m still dealing with and waiting to get the approval from my insurance to get a CT scan so my ENT doctor, Dr. Cool, can see what’s going on.

I was also put on antibiotics and then a week later a second one. I completely forgot that when you’re on the pill you need to have back up birth control when taking antibiotics and I feel so effing stupid right now. I’ve taken 3 pregnancy tests. Two were positive and one was negative.

On one hand I really don’t think I’m pregnant but on the other hand it’s possible. Basically, I’m totally confused. When I was pregnant with the hummingbird I had what I thought was pms and I was cramping a lot but then I found that when it came to me at least, pregnancy symptoms can be similar to period symptoms.

I’ve never had a miscarriage that I know of but that’s something else I’m worried about. I had been bleeding for a day and a half over the weekend. I’m wondering if that could be why 2 tests were positive and one was negative.

The first test I took that was positive was at 11:30 last night and I was freaking out. I was thinking of how I’m taking an antidepressant, had been on pain meds for my insane sinus pain, and an anti-anxiety med and how they could cause harm. My husband was thrilled not! when I woke him up an hour later freaking out and then telling him I might be pregnant.

I’m taking another test tomorrow morning and I’m thinking whatever it says, it will be best to go and see my asshole primary doctor so I can get a blood test to be sure either way.

I want another baby more than anything. It took me almost 14 years to have the hummingbird (that’s for another post). I can honestly say that if it’s positive or negative I’ll be happy either way.

I didn’t plan on actually making this a post but when my hubby came home tonight, I had just started having a panic attack and the best way I know how to deal with one is to take my mind off of it or write things down because I know it can help.

I also overshare because hell, I figure others have been in similar situations and I like to think I *might* help even a tiny bit if someone out there knows that someone else has gone or is going through the same thing.

So now I wait.

*Update. I’m going in for a blood test this morning but even with a rush on it, they said it can take up to 3 days so I might not find out until Monday. The 4th pg test I took earlier this morning was negative so now I’m even more confused. Quick, someone get me a brownie from the stress of not knowing. :^)

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27 Responses to Totally confused.

  1. RHNH August 16, 2011 at 17:53 #

    There are no false positives in pregnancy tests, only false negatives… it is possible for the miscarriage situation if the bleeding continues, but if it’s light spotting, that could still be in the ‘normal’ range. Also, at home tests are most accurate in the morning, but if you’ve had a positive, well… it’s positive. So, I like your idea of checking in with the primary care guy to see where you stand at this moment.

    Good luck all around – good wishes and prayers coming your way!

  2. Heather Simmons August 16, 2011 at 18:00 #

    Totally been there!!! My anxiety has been through the roof lately too…. and I tend to overshare on my blog. I am there with you sister, and understand the fear/uncertainty of getting pregnant and being on meds, but just thankful for the blessing if a baby is indeed, on the way. Don’t worry about it. I didn’t stop taking my meds. for 6 weeks, and Sunshine turned out beautifully. Take deep breathes, play with the hummingbird, and go see your doctor. Deal with whatever happens next, when you get there. Easier said, then done…. I know… but keep writing and sharing as so many are listening and need to hear your thoughts.
    Blessings and giggles to you!

  3. themrs August 16, 2011 at 18:31 #

    i was jumping in to say what the first person already said! so here’s the deal, most pain meds are safe during pregnancy (even strong ones). anxiety meds and antidepressants aren’t going to do any harm this early in. so i really wouldn’t sweat that either. did i mention i’m a doula? birthing is my “thing” 😉 so take a deep breath and smile, cause obviously you make super cute babies!!! sometimes our wet cubbies just do things we did not authorize them to do (have you seen esme?) so we just have to roll with it!

  4. Cajun Asian Chronicles August 16, 2011 at 18:31 #

    I know you probaly don’t want to hear this, but my son was conceived on the birth control pill and I never missed, was not ill, and had not been taking any other medication. Good luck with your testing!

  5. Lindsey August 16, 2011 at 18:45 #

    If you take anything from Dr. Twitter it should be that we’re all different. Which sucks when you’re looking for answers.

    I was almost two months along with my first before I even thought to do a pregnancy test. Sure enough, right after getting absolutely tanked at a wedding I found out. For the rest of the pregnancy I worried about FAS and freaked over how vital the first few weeks of development are for the baby and on and on… and of course everything turned out totally normal.

    Stay on your meds until you find out for sure… then you can tweak them for preggo-friendliness if you need to.

    I’m excited for you – make sure you get some sleep tonight 🙂

  6. Marley Jakel Morgan Croy August 16, 2011 at 18:46 #

    Yep, it they came back positive at all, you are pregnant. Yay!!!!! Enjoy it.

  7. Karen August 16, 2011 at 18:53 #

    I had 2 negative at-home tests. I was really bummed so my hubby & I went out & got blitzed. A few weeks later when my breasts started to feel tender, I went to the doctor. A blood test confirmed I was indeed pregnant. I also had several freak out moments. I can tell you now that my false negative baby is a happy, thriving, smart, beautiful & healthy 13-yr-old young lady.

  8. Elle P. August 16, 2011 at 19:13 #

    Here’s the thing- you won’t know until you have blood work. So whether the test tomorrow is positive or negative, see your primary for blood work and ask them to mark it stat, so they get the results right away.

    In the mean time, know this- however this turns out, everything will be okay. 🙂

  9. siggiofmaine August 16, 2011 at 20:12 #

    Telling you from a nurses perspective you need the pg test to be sure…
    wish you the best…which ever way it turns out…
    I think you have a great attitude considering your depression…
    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers….

    ☮ ♥. Siggi
    in Downeast Maine

  10. lastgirlstanding August 16, 2011 at 20:14 #

    No such thing as a false positive, my friend! *squee*! Some of the best things in life are unplanned. For instance, I just had Peanut Butter Cups for supper. Unplanned? Yes. Totally awesome? Absolutely!

    Yay! Here’s hoping everything is well in the land of baby and the negative test was just a fluke. I don’t want to be presumptuous but… congratulations!!!

    • Elle August 16, 2011 at 20:20 #

      Omg, your comment almost made me pee myself because I was laughing so hard. The little hummingbird was actually a happy surprise so apparently my uterus doesn’t believe in planning. 😉

      And now I want peanut butter cups!

  11. Connie Laettner Krebs August 16, 2011 at 20:41 #

    Hahaha! First off I am loving the other comments, second- yippee! for our bodies turning on us. Lol, seriously, for oldest was conceived on 2 forms of birth control and my youngest was not only conceived despite using condoms, but also is here due to the fact that my dear hubster missed his VASECTOMY appointment! AHHH!!! I believe my reaction when I took the pregger test was “Oh SHIT, oh SHIT!”. Hang in there kiddo, I have been there and everything will be ok!

  12. teri August 16, 2011 at 21:58 #

    Hello soul sister! I got pregnant on birth control (I was also on antibiotics and screwed up a few pills, too) AND I had unexplained bleeding (same thing – a day or two). My pregnancy test came back positive before I barely peed on it (it just got close to the source and was like “yup, yer done knocked up”.) They couldn’t explain my bleeding (my cervix was closed) and my blood tests all came back normal. So…congratulations…but…GET THYSELF TO A DOCTOR STAT just to be sure!

  13. Pamela Mahr Aston August 16, 2011 at 23:09 #

    I had my own freak out moment 2 weeks ago. I missed my period and was it going on 3 weeks!! I had a tubal done when my daughter was born 3 years ago! I was flipping out for a few days. I am also on meds and was telling a friend that “this kid is totally screwed” if I was prego. Turns out that for me….*sigh*….I’m just getting old. My body just decided to piss me off in the middle of my 3 year olds B-day party! I’m headed towards 42 next month. UGH!
    Good luck. Congrats! Relax and All will be well with you and the (potentially) “newest” hummingbird.

  14. Jayne August 17, 2011 at 02:10 #

    Keeping it all crossed for you, and as everyone else has said, I’ve not heard of a false positive, only a false negative. And if it helps, I had bleeding on and off for the first couple of months of being pregnant with Sausage.


  15. Geeky Sweetheart (@GeekySweetheart) August 17, 2011 at 04:00 #

    🙂 I had a short period type bleed, followed by period type symptoms at the beginning of my pregnancy. Peanut butter cups for supper indeed! <3 all the best whatever <3

  16. Chelle August 17, 2011 at 06:21 #

    Sorry, but I have never heard of a false positive. Those things only turn positive if the hormone, HCG, is present.

    So, on that note, CONGRATULATIONS! My youngest was also unplanned. I had been having trouble with break through bleeding on the pill and, because we used fertility treatment for the first two, my husband AND my mother told me just to go off of it because I couldn’t get pregnant without help. WHAM! One month later, my third little bundle of joy was on the way!

    I took a low dose of Prozac during that pregnancy for depression and my son was born totally healthy. Don’t worry about the meds you are on now, but do get to the doctor as soon as possible, because he/she can tweak your medications so that you can take them safely.

    I don’t think we’re ever ready for having a baby. If we waited, I don’t think any children would ever be born. And I’m really happy my husband missed his vasectomy appointment because he was too busy at work! (He got one right after little surprise number 3 came along.)

    Trust in the plus sign and get thee to a doctor!


  17. Jamie August 17, 2011 at 06:49 #

    I agree with there are no false positives, only false negatives. I don’t want to freak you out even further, but I had the same intense symptoms and then I found out it was TWINS! I’m secretly hoping you’re having twins because I would love to read your blog about them… *eek! (That was my happy sound). No matter what you’ll do great, and plus you make super adorable babies!

  18. Clarwyn August 17, 2011 at 07:25 #

    First time commenter because I have to be the lone nay-sayer here… I’m a quibbler for facts and I gotta say, there ARE false positives, I had one a couple years ago. Still not sure how that happened, but it did. Just for the factual record. But if you had two positives… yeah, that sounds like it’s probably for real. Congrats (and best of luck)!

    • Elle August 17, 2011 at 07:48 #

      Hi Sweetie,
      Thanks so much for commenting and I truly appreciate your input. I’m still not sure if I am even though the home tests I’ve taken are 2 to 1. For me it won’t be “officially” positive (pun intended) until I take a bood test. xx

  19. Kim August 17, 2011 at 10:52 #

    With my first pregnancy I had taken three pregnancy tests, one negative, two positive and ended up being pregnant! With the blood test though it will help to know the HCG levels to see if they are getting higher, so that extra information will also help to know how you are doing 🙂 I am so happy for you, and what a beautiful blessing!! It always helped me to know that the fertilized egg doesn’t implant right away, as sometimes i worried that what was in my body (wine, meds, etc) might be impacting the pregnancy before i found out I was pregnant.

  20. Emily Calle August 17, 2011 at 13:40 #

    I think you have a great outlook — there will be happiness either way. 🙂 Good vibes headed your way!

  21. Alicia August 17, 2011 at 16:50 #

    Two positives…EEEK! I’m sorry you have to wait so long for those test results. Are you going to continue taking HPTs or just wait wait wait for Monday? I have no willpower and would be testing every day, even though it’s also torturous if you’re getting mixed results!

  22. Mama And The City August 17, 2011 at 16:55 #

    Regardless of the results, because of antibiotic, make sure to have lactobacillous (pill, lactose or any form you like) ingested. Your intestinal flora or immune system needs a boost. Antibiotics eat the good bacteria in your got and hence you might develop some infections or deceases.

  23. Marianna Annadanna August 17, 2011 at 18:11 #

    Stressful! It’ll work out though. 🙂

  24. Suzi August 17, 2011 at 23:44 #

    Someone I work with had a full period for the first 7 months of her pregnancy and her baby was absolutely fine. So bleeding doesn’t necessarily mean a miscarriage. (Still, I know it would be hard not to freak out about it… I freaked when I had a tiny bit of spotting.)

    Here’s to hoping congratulations are in order soon!

  25. mommymetamorphosis August 18, 2011 at 09:59 #

    HI Elle,

    How’s it going? I hope all is well… and I totally get the whole anxiety thing! When I got pregnant with my first and second I had similar circumstances with antibiotics and a script I was on for a fungal infection in my toe… (strictly read on package… do not take while pregnant~can cause serious birth defects) Luckily in both cases everything turned out just fine. I do know as stated in above comment there are no false positives only false negatives. I am sending good thoughts your way! Hugs XX

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