I never thought I would have to say these words but when I went to the doctor yesterday morning, I found out I miscarried.
The hummingbird was a happy surprise but I still had the same feelings of shock when I found out I was pregnant with her. It quickly turned to being ecstatic, just like this time around.
This past week I started seeing how my daughter will be such a great big sister. A few months ago she developed an interest in babies. When she sees a baby on television or when we’re out and about she says baby? baby? A lot of things she says is in the form of a question.
Even if she sees a kid who’s older than her she calls them a baby? Of course there are also times when she’ll be acting so sweet to her cabbage patch doll or one of her stuffed animals and then she’ll start whacking it against the wall or body slam it.
One thing I would like to say to male doctors is when it comes to this kind of situation, telling a woman that it’s probably for the best given my current depression and anxiety is NOT a good idea.
I’m not an idiot and I know I need to work through this depression before I have another baby but saying that to a woman is really, really stupid.
I know I’ll be okay, eventually, but right now I’m crushed.