No matter how much I try to get along with my MIL and keep the peace she apparently doesn’t want the same thing. I swear it’s like she enjoys being awful to me.
After going back and forth several times on whether or not I should tell her about what I’ve been going through with the loss I had as well as the depression I’ve been having, I made the unfortunate decision to tell her.
I had hoped she would understand why I might seem distant and why my emotions will be raw when they come to visit this weekend. I also know that she’s dealt with a miscarriage about 5 years after she had my hubby.
I didn’t just call her up and say hey guess what? We talked for a while and I asked her if she would like to go with me to get a pedicure while the little hummingbird
maybe takes her nap Saturday afternoon and my hubby and his dad stay home so they can have some time together.
My MIL sounded less than thrilled since my in-laws don’t seem to believe in doing things separately or having one on one time with my hubby and his sister. They always have to talk on the phone at the same time with them (separate phone calls rarely happen) and I know my hubby adores hanging out with his dad but that’s not something that happens too often either.
While we were talking, one of the things I brought up was that I’ve been showing the little hummingbird pictures of her grandparents. I told my mother-in-law that the hummingbird can’t really say grandma but says pa pa in place of grandpa.
That’s when she said that it’s only fair I teach my little girl to call her mama. I was speechless but in my mind I was thinking are you effing kidding me?! Maybe I’m overreacting but I’m the hummingbird’s maahmeee and there’s no way I think it’s right to have her call her grandmother mama. I had plenty to say when it came to that but I ended up saying something like I’m sure she’ll learn to say grandma soon enough.
After talking some more I brought up that I had miscarried recently and we talked about it for a few minutes. I didn’t expect much from her which was a good thing because she never asked how I was doing and she didn’t say that she was sorry I had been through that. It was odd because she told me that she had actually been through 2 of them and I was the one telling her how sorry I was that she went through that.
I wanted to give her a heads up that my emotions are still pretty raw and so when they visit us this weekend I might not be myself. That’s when she chimed in and said you mean you’ll be more testy than usual then. Really lady?
Last time they were here there was one night when they were getting ready to go to their hotel room. I was flipping through the channels and saw that Ocean’s Eleven was on so I kept that on so I had something to do while they ignored me and were talking with my hubby.
He left the room for something and there was this awkward moment between the three of us. I couldn’t take the awkward silence so I mentioned that Brad Pitt used to be pretty cute back then but Angelina seems to have sucked the hot out of him, then I laughed. They weren’t amused and I thought oh well.
That was the most I had said during their entire visit and if my MIL considers that to be “testy” then so be it. I told my hubby about the conversation I had with his mom (there was more that she said but it’s her typical passive aggressive stuff) and he said what he always says which is “that seems out of character for her”.
I’m not trying to have my husband against his own mother but I always tell him that the way she acts towards me and the types of things she says is actually very typical of her but he just doesn’t want to see it.
So, it looks like when it comes to my in-laws upcoming visit I’ll be on my own as usual. I was talking to my mom about it and she said with what I’m going through, don’t put up with my MIL’s shit like I normally do. With my emotions all over the place this should make for a very long 4 days.