If it was Miley Cyrus that got run over by a bulldozer then this might not have been as embarrassing and people would be thanking me.

Yesterday I asked for some embarrassing moments and Elle P. from Spill The Beans, who is a mama to 3 boys, sure did deliver. She always makes me laugh to the point of peeing myself so make sure you have some towels handy.

Here are some great posts from Elle:

Devil Bird~these effers freak me out too and my husband gets the greatest enjoyment out of seeing my reaction whenever we come across one which thanfully isn’t that often.

Manic Monday~this is a post in which after reading, you’ll want to send Elle large quantites of alcohol. The Naked Cowboy~where she talks to the Naked Cowboy from Times Square.

Censoring the 4 Year Old~I know this day will be coming soon with the little hummingbird. Daytime Drama~Oy! I dread the day this happens even more.

Q and A with Elle P. 

Elle: If you could send any celebrity/reality star into space so you’d never had to hear about them again, who would it be?

Elle P: OMG, I would love to get rid of Miley Cyrus.  I can not stand the sight, nor the sound of her.  That chick CAN NOT SING and SHOULD NOT BE FAMOUS for anything, ever.

Elle: What song(s) makes you want to dance around your house and/or brings you back to your teen years?

Elle P: Moves like Jaggar by Maroon 5.  L-O-V-E love that song…. I don’t dance around my house too often I usually just jam out to it in my minivan.  Stop laughing!  My minivan RULES.  Oh who am I kidding- I call it The Loser Cruiser.

Elle: If the zombie apocalypse happened tomorrow, which weapon would you want to have to fight these brain eaters?

A. a flame thrower.

B. an unlimited supply of ninja throwing stars.

C. a chainsaw.

D. a shoelace because you’re bad ass.

E. other and what would it be?

F. none of the above, I want to be a damn zombie!

Elle P: E- Other.  I would choose garlic.  In Plants vs. Zombies, they hate the taste of garlic and move on to another plant.  So in real life?  I will fight them off with garlic and they will move onto other brains.  Like maybe Miley Cyrus’.  Bwahahahahahahahah!

~~~

Birthday Cake Phobia.

It happened September 2nd in 2005, when my older boys were 5 and 3 1/2. That is when I developed an intense… hmmm… fear may be a little strong but I’m dramatic, so we’ll go with it… I developed an intense FEAR for childrens’ birthday parties, held in public places. Specifically, the birthday cakes.

My neighbor and I decided to take our kids to an indoor playground/moon bounce place. The kids were having a blast, running, jumping and playing. After awhile, I realized that I hadn’t seen them in a few minutes.

Just as I started to look for them, my friend’s daughter (also 3 1/2) runs over to me and says “Elle! Your boys are over there, with the birthday party and they are playing with the cake!!!!”

I ran toward where she was pointing and as I rounded the corner, I could hear them happily saying, “Vroom, vroom! Beep, beep, beep!  Errrr!”

They had found a cake similar to the one above and… you may need to sit down for this… were playing with the construction trucks ON TOP OF THE CAKE.  They had smeared the icing, with the tires of the trucks, all over the cake; including where it said “Happy Birthday”. 

Of course, I started shrieking and freaking out.  I then, red-faced and on the verge of tears, found the parents from the party and along with the boys, apologized.  They were understandably upset but very gracious. 

I begged them to let me pay for the cake, but they kindly refused.  Before leaving, I did find the owner of the moon bounce place, explained what happened and gave him money to put toward the party. 

I found out later that he redesigned the layout of his indoor play place, and had the birthday party area completely sectioned off and unavailable to the general public.  I wholeheartedly believe this was because of my children.

People of the Internet, there are no words to describe just how utterly and completely mortified I was.  Everyone who knows about this story assures me that someday I will laugh about it. 

It has been 4 years and I am so not there yet.  In fact, I have been thinking about asking my doctor for anti-anxiety meds to take only when attending children’s birthday parties.

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14 Responses to If it was Miley Cyrus that got run over by a bulldozer then this might not have been as embarrassing and people would be thanking me.

  1. Marianna Annadanna September 6, 2011 at 17:43 #

    Ahahahaha – the Loser Cruiser – AHAHHAHAHAHAA

    This doesn’t sound that bad to me. I did that last week at my own work farewell party. I played with the icing with my finger before everyone had a piece. No shame.

    • Elle P. September 6, 2011 at 20:48 #

      Re: The Loser Cruiser- Like that one? 😉 I call our other car The Vomit Comet. (The Husband puked in it when he was sick one time and now, it will never be called anything else.)

      That was YOUR cake. This was someone ELSE’S. It was awful! I came home and cried and cried and cried.

  2. Wombat Central September 6, 2011 at 18:40 #

    I can’t say I blame your kids. I mean–how fun does that cake look? I say the party host and parents are partly to blame for putting out the cake before it was time to serve it. 😛

    • Elle P. September 6, 2011 at 20:50 #

      The parents/party hosts were so very gracious and even said that they were to blame because they took it out of the box way ahead of time. I very much appreciated that but OHMYGOD, why did it have to be MY kids?!?!

  3. siggiofmaine September 6, 2011 at 22:55 #

    I understand where you are coming from, but it will some day be something to laugh about…because you have something to blackmail them with when they get old enough to have serious girlfriends…too bad no one took a photo for you !
    I’d told my son I’d made of a list of things like that should he ever find someone to marry him to tell his intended before the wedding…I’m sure that is why he decided to get married across the pond, and not invite me !

    Maybe you can think of it this way…it wasn’t even like permanent marker on the babysitters freshly stained wood work……

    I’m with you though, as I live in a small town and had to face the neighbors forever after some dastardly deed a child did.☺. And it is funny now…other children did much worse, it seems.

    Love and cyber hugs, from Maine. Siggi

    • Elle P. September 7, 2011 at 04:29 #

      Ooooh, I like the way you think! Black mail…. genius! No one took a photo of it because I was so, so mortified that I just HAD to get out of there! I am so grateful that the parents, though upset, were so kind. They even said that if it hadn’t been my kids, it likely would have been someone from their own party. But of course, it wasn’t. 🙂

      Thanks, Siggi!

  4. immunod19 September 7, 2011 at 04:10 #

    i’ve never had anything like that happen to me before LOL – sorry I know you were mortified and all – but you will laugh about it one day!

    Maroon 5’s moves like Jagger is my favorite now too – along with anything of Adele’s

    • Elle P. September 7, 2011 at 04:33 #

      I hope to laugh about it someday. Way, way, way, WAY into the future… of course it has been 6 years and I’m not there yet. 😛

      I love Adele too- such a unique voice and wonderful talent.

  5. Cheryl @ Coffee with Cheryl September 7, 2011 at 06:07 #

    Oh, thank goodness I haven’t had to deal with that one yet! Although mine threw a fit at a party one day because he wanted to “borrow” the present he had picked out for his friend’s birthday gift!

  6. Luna September 7, 2011 at 09:54 #

    The Loser Cruiser. AWESOME. My minivan is called Halen. Because it’s a van. And it rocks. And I’m great at sarcasm. 🙂

  7. Elle P. September 7, 2011 at 10:28 #

    Halen- that is the best!

    I LOVE sarcasm. 🙂

  8. Jen September 11, 2011 at 18:33 #

    My kids were kicking a ball back and forth and landed the ball on top of a graduation cake at a party. The cake had edible pictures of the graduate all over it and when we went to peel the ball off the cake, all the frosting with the largest picture of the graduate came off with it. I don’t remember exactly what I screeched when they tried to lick the picture/icing off the ball, but the parents of the graduate were so gracious and fun, they proceeded to claim which of the other pictures of their senior daughter they got to eat!

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