Back by popular demand, my mom. What in the hell is that noise?!

*Here is the first guest post my mom did back in May.

I like to have some white noise while I sleep so I always keep a fan on in my bedroom. For several mornings I would wake up to the sound of something in my bedroom.

It would drive me crazy and I wasn’t able to figure out where it was coming from. I would look everywhere and couldn’t find anything.

On occasion it would also happen in the middle of the night. One night while fast asleep I was awakened to what sounded like a bird fluttering its wings.

I grabbed my flashlight, turned off the fan, and walked slowly through each room.

Nothing.

I went back to bed and sat there for a while.

Still nothing.

I said f—k it, turned the fan back on, and tried to go to sleep. All of a sudden I realized the noise was coming from my fan.

Boy, did I feel like an idiot.

                                                                   

Yummy Pepperoni Pasta Salad

1 package rotini pasta (I like the garden variety)
1 pack feta cheese (crumbled)
1 can chopped black and green olives
Croutons
Zesty Italian dressing
1 pack pepperoni slices
          
Cook pasta, drain, and cool. Add other ingredients to taste. You can also add any other veggie or change the dressing to what you like. The croutons give it the extra zing. ~ Love, Elle’s mom

                                                          

Me: So, what are you up to mom?

Mom: I’m making pasta salad.

Me: Ooooh, yum!

Mom: With pepperoni.

Me: You have to email me the recipe because that sounds so good. Remember to also send that story about that noise you kept on hearing for weeks and then it ended up being your fan. Hahahahahahaha!

Mom: Yeah, I feel like an idiot. I promise, I will.

Me: So what else is in the pasta salad?

Mom: You can really put anything you want in there. I like adding croutons.

Me: Croutons are awesome.

Mom: The thing is because they hurt my teeth, I have to smash the shit out of the croutons before I add them to anything but I still get the flavor.

Me: You what?

Mom: I smash my croutons with a hammer until they turn into a powder.

Me: Mom, seriously?

Mom: Yeah.

Me: Well what’s the point of eating croutons when they’re all powdery. Maybe you should pull a Lindsay Lohan and just snort the croutons. You might get more flavor.

Mom: Haha, smartass.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

5 Responses to Back by popular demand, my mom. What in the hell is that noise?!

  1. Annie October 12, 2011 at 18:34 #

    I’ve heard of snorting ashes, but never croutons. Seems a little sharp up the nasal passage. Your mom seems like a hoot. Great blog post!

    • Elle October 12, 2011 at 18:59 #

      I saw an episode of Six Feet Under where these people snorted the cremains of someone. Ewww. Maybe if you stayed away from the garlic croutons and stuck with something like ranch or cheese, it wouldn’t be so harsh if you snorted them. 😉

  2. Erin October 13, 2011 at 08:51 #

    I don’t like croutons. I never thought of snorting them. I might like them better that way.

    • Elle October 16, 2011 at 23:54 #

      Then you don’t have to chew. 😉

  3. Notmyyearoff October 26, 2011 at 08:07 #

    I love croutons but snorting them? And garlic one? Imagine they weren’t smashed up enough and became lodged in your nose?
    (“well Doctor, it all started when I fancied some pasta…”)

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge