When it comes to being a stay at home mom, I know I can do better but there are times I can be so burnt out and exhausted when it comes to doing the same thing every day; giving the little hummingbird her breakfast, cleaning her up afterwards, cleaning her high chair and tray, letting her watch some obnoxious kids cartoon, giving her a snack, not having her like the snack I give her and finding something else, taking her to the park, trying to walk back home and having her throw a tantrum because she’s not ready to go home yet, giving her lunch, cleaning up, trying to get her to take a nap or at least have some quiet time in her room so I can have a little bit of peace, not having her give me any peace, and on and on for the rest of the day.
While I’m doing all of this with the hummingbird, I don’t really have time to do much else. Okay, scratch that. I know I can make the time to do these things but I just don’t want to. There, I said it. I know my husband works hard at his job but so do I. Not only that, he doesn’t have a 2 1/2 year old
dictator boss that he has to deal with day after day. When it comes to his job he’s pretty much left alone in his office or in the classroom teaching. That sounds like paradise to me.
Problem – The dishwasher is full of clean dishes and the dishes in the sink are piling up. You’ve spent an exhausting morning dealing with a cranky toddler and you just want to lay your kid down for a nap so you can catch up on one of the several episodes of The Real Housewives that have been on your DVR for the past few months.
Solution – Forget the dishes and veg out in front of the television for an hour. You deserve it. When your husband comes home from work tell him that the oddest thing happened. You had planned on doing the dishes but not only did the electricity go out, so did the water.
Before he has a chance to question you, also make sure to tell him your child refused to nap even if they actually didn’t. Then really bring it home by telling him how tired you are and bring your hand up to your head saying you have the worst headache ever and you really need to lay down for a bit.
Problem – The laundry is piling up.
Solution – What laundry? I don’t see any dirty laundry.
Problem – The trash can is full.
Solution – Put on your shoes and smash the trash down as far as it will go. Later that night, right before bed, say oh by the way, can you take the trash out? and then run like hell into the bedroom and lay in bed, pretending that you’ve already fallen asleep. He’s still in his clothes but unless he’s a meanie, he wouldn’t dare wake his sleeping wife to take the trash out.
Problem – Cooking dinner.
Solution – Tell him you have raging PMS and your cramps are so bad that you can barely stand up. Add a few owwws and ohhhsss. By the time the take-out he ordered comes, you’ve miraculously recovered.
Problem – You see commercials for Hoarders: Buried Alive and you wonder when the camera crew came to your house.
Solution – Stay strong and be really stubborn. After 16 years of marriage, FINALLY convince your hubby that you need to get a cleaning lady to come once a week.
If all else fails, promising oral sex has always worked for me.