Loving and Loathing Facebook

I have two Facebook accounts. One is personal and one is for my blog under Elle Thisismommyhood. When I started my personal account, I found several people within days.

I thought it would be so cool to have contact with a lot of these people. I thought of how we would reminisce, email each other, and even possibly talk on the phone about what’s been going on in our lives.

What the hell was I thinking?!

It’s my personal FB account that I have a problem with and I feel like I have to be really careful about what I say. It’s pretty ironic seeing how on my personal account these are friends, people I went to school with, and family members.

Sometimes I think there’s a good reason that I’ve lost touch with some of them and it should have stayed that way. Other times it’s can be really great because while it tore me up when my aunt died a year ago, I’m now in touch with my two cousins that I haven’t seen or heard from since I was just a kid.

I promised myself that I would never talk about religion or politics on my blog which is why this post is difficult to write but it’s hard to avoid while explaining why I loathe Facebook.

I feel my views are open and accepting but then I think maybe not if I’m bothered by the views of others. Except I don’t feel like it’s just simply their views. I feel like it’s more about them spewing hatred on Facebook. It makes my blood boil when people stereotype based on color and religion or when I hear that people who are gay shouldn’t be allowed to marry because it will ruin the sanctity of marriage.


One family member went on a rant about a particular religious group and I found it disgusting.

It got his other FB friends in a tizzy, saying this group of people needs to die, someone should blow them up, and on they went.

What. the. fuck?!

This is someone I’ve known my entire life. Within a year and a half I’ve seen the real side of this person and now I wonder if he said some of these degrading and racist things when I was younger but maybe I just let it slide or didn’t pay attention since he’s family and someone I love.

It makes my stomach drop when I think about it because in a way I feel like I’m accepting what he writes on his Facebook wall since I’ve never said anything.  Then again, I have no idea what I would say but I know it wouldn’t make a difference to this person.

It’s not just him though, it’s several people that have done it. I know I can easily unfriend them but for some reason I just can’t.

On the bright side there are people I’ve reconnected with and I’m so freaking happy that they’re back in my life.

So here I am, loving and loathing Facebook.

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12 Responses to Loving and Loathing Facebook

  1. jillsmo January 22, 2012 at 21:42 #

    I know exactly what you mean. I have a personal FB account, where I use the real names of my kids, I post benign, cute pictures of them, and I never ever ever say anything important. And then I have my blog persona account, where my mother and my husband are both blocked from being able to see anything I say. Needless to say, I like the blog one, better 🙂
    jillsmo recently posted..Conversations with Child 2My Profile

    • Elle January 26, 2012 at 22:13 #

      Oooh, I hadn’t even thought about blocking some people. That might be the way to go unless I’m still able to see what they on their walls.

  2. Jen January 23, 2012 at 06:47 #

    Too true! I have a lot of family members that are the exact opposite of me religiously and politically. When someone is spewing something particularly hurtful or hateful, I jump on the opportunity to provide an intelligent counterpoint to make them reconsider their point of view. My mom worries my husband really doesn’t like her because every time she posts something from Fox News, he tears it apart, point by point. I just tell her, “I love you, Mom, but it IS Fox News…”
    Jen recently posted..Tuesday Night Spin – some like it loudMy Profile

    • Elle January 26, 2012 at 22:21 #

      Haha! 🙂 That’s my problem, I know way too many people who watch Fox News. I wish I could think of something smart to say when I read their status updates but I’m usually too worked up and the only thing I can usually think of saying is f*ck off.

      Of course now that I think about it, those 2 words are much more intelligent than whatever Fox News says. bwahahahaha. 😉

  3. Monica DeLaCruz January 23, 2012 at 08:58 #

    blech! it’s a yucky feeling to read crap on fb – a “place” i usually depend on for “light” staying in touch fun! i stay far away from politics and religion on fb and on my blog. and when i read something i find offensive on fb (i rarely read political blogs that are not of my leaning – which probably means i am just as guilty of not being accepting, but it makes my blood boil too high ;o) i just ignore it, too. i feel like by even commenting in a more positive way i am encouraging the person to continue to post crazy shit. that probably makes no sense, but it’s just what i tell myself. hope your fb time is better next login!!! :o)

    • Elle January 26, 2012 at 22:27 #

      That’s exactly what I expect too, light-hearted updates. I totally understand what you mean about a positive comment and I’m sure that person is just looking for someone to disagree so they can really go off.

  4. Catherine January 23, 2012 at 11:40 #

    This is exactly why I have yet to be on Facebook. I feel that if I wanted to keep in touch with “those” people, I would have through real life. And I sometimes feel that I’m neglecting my friends as it is……let alone if I was spending more free time on the computer.
    Catherine recently posted..Winter RutMy Profile

    • Elle January 26, 2012 at 22:29 #

      You really dodged a bullet by not being on Facebook, that’s for sure. 🙂

  5. Corinne January 23, 2012 at 12:05 #

    I am very careful about how I use Facebook and keep my friend numbers to a minimum. I live hundreds of miles from my family and most of my friends and it is a perfect tool for keeping in touch, but I don’t use it for anything more than that.
    Corinne recently posted..The Eye HospitalMy Profile

    • Elle January 26, 2012 at 22:32 #

      That was my problem, I friended whoever would send me a request. Even the people I didn’t like in High School.

  6. red January 24, 2012 at 08:07 #

    A friend of mine who is one of the funniest people I know in real life, keeps updating his fb status with political stuff. I really don’t want to hear his rants. He’s welcome to his views, but whether I agree with his views, his volatile posting makes him just as bad as the people he’s complaining about!
    …and I’m like you – I just can’t un-friend him, because in real life, he’s a good friend and a fun person!

    But I do periodically go through and un-friend people I’m not genuinely in touch with, or at least checking up on with or without contact. Good idea, I think, to clean house!
    red recently posted..Broke-nessMy Profile

    • Elle January 26, 2012 at 22:43 #

      My uncle is one of the biggest offenders on Facebook which is so disappointing but I just can’t see un-friending him. Talk about awkward Thanksgiving dinners. Scratch that. It would be a lot more awkward since Thanksgiving is awkward and uncomfortable as it is. 🙂

      That’s a great idea, cleaning out our FB accounts. If anyone asks me why I un-friended them, I can just say it was by accident. As lame as it is, I’ve said that before to a few people and they seemed to buy it.

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