I’ve been casually getting the little hummingbird used to the idea of potty training for a while and have been reading any and everything about it. I’ve come to find that I still don’t know shit about potty training. I think I rather stand on my head while somebody set my feet on fire instead of this.
I’m gearing up to get more serious with it but have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. My sister told me that with one of her kids, they came to her and said they don’t want to wear a diaper anymore and they were potty trained in no time. Yep, I want to strangle my sister too.
It seems like I always hear that girls are easier to potty train than boys but I don’t agree. I’ve used a men’s restroom before and by the looks of that and my hubby’s bathroom, they obviously never really seem to get the hang of it. Bada bing!
The hummingbird will be 3 this spring so I figured it was about time to start and she seems interested but as soon as she’s on the toilet with her cushioned toddler seat, she’ll hop down and run to her bedroom. Then she runs to the office and down the hall back to our bedroom and into the bathroom. Rinse, lather, repeat.
Way before I had the little hummingbird, I always thought when I have kids they would be potty trained by 2 years old. I could fill a book with ALL the things I thought I would do and how I would be as a parent before my daughter was born. Now I occasionally bribe her with chocolate although I’ve found that a dixie cup with a little bit of water is just as exciting for her.
I give her books to look at for the 5 seconds that I can actually get her to stay on the toilet and then vroom….she’s off and running. There are also times when she will actually stay on for longer and not go but as soon as I put on her big girl training pants, she’s standing in a puddle of pee.
Well, not really a puddle since we have carpet and it just soaks the pee in and then not only does our house have a litter box smell but also a walking down the street in NYC and you smell urine but you wonder if it’s from an animal or a person and you also try to figure out if that large dark stain on the sidewalk is from blood or crap and you have no idea which one you’d rather have it be because both choices suck smell.
I’m at the point where I don’t know what to do next so I would love any advice on potty training. I don’t care if it would involve monkeys and juggling, this mama needs help or the shit will hit the fan.