I should be on Mystery Diagnosis.

It’s blended time, the post of the week where I blend small tidbits together.

After a year of chronic sinus infections and agony, my new ENT doctor (I haven’t come up with a nickname for her yet) looks to have finally figured out what’s wrong. She found that there’s a pocket of fluid in my sinuses above my left eye that is just festering with a sinus infection and scar tissue has trapped it so there’s no way for it to drain on its own.

She also said have a smaller pocket by the right side of my nose that has sinusitis.

Today I’m stuck inside with the little hummingbird, waiting for Dr. Stanford to call me since he’ll be the one doing my sinus surgery at Stanford. At least I assume he’ll be doing my surgery since Mrs. New ENT Dr. told me yesterday that there isn’t any medication that can resolve it.

I thought I would be happy to finally find out what’s wrong but I’m fucking terrified to go through surgery…again. This will be my third sinus surgery and I think my panic is because I’m worried this surgery will cause another one down the road but mainly because I think about the hummingbird and worry that something will happen to me.

Isn’t anxiety and depression just wonderful?

I’ve been on the steroid Prednisone for the past 10 days and holy hell, this shit makes me feel more nutty than the locker rooms at the Super Bowl.

I have 2 more days left on it which is a good thing because I know my hubby is close to going off the edge. Normally I’m just bitchy but I feel like I have some roid rage and I’ve been eating like crazy.

The other thing going on is we finally took a tour of the preschool I really want the hummingbird to go to and it was love at first sight for her. Right when we drove up to it, she saw the top of the playground set above the fence and was so excited. She kept on saying pahk! pahk! I swear my daughter has an English accent.

There isn’t a space open until the end of this month so I have a few weeks to prepare to have my baby girl go off into the real world. Okay, I know it’s just preschool and it’s only for 2 half days a week but I was looking at this huge packet of paperwork we have to fill out and I started feeling mommy guilt again.

But I keep trying to remember that this will benefit both of us. She needs more time with kids her age and I desperately need a bit of time so I can find out where my sanity went and not have to watch Caillou, Little Bear, or Elmo at least 2 mornings of the week.


What you may have missed on my other website, A Nervous Tic Motion: Adam wrote this post about his view of Susan G. Komen and Planned Parenthood, Wendy wrote Worst Mom Ever: WTF is Attachment Parenting, Amanda has a really great weekly column called Saturday Shuffle where she finds some of the cool things on the interwebs, and Tricia writes the always awesome Wineconed Wednesday every week.


The movie of the week is All Good Things with Ryan Gosling, Kirsten Dunst, and Frank Langella. I don’t know how there wasn’t more promotion for this film when it came out but the acting is incredible and I think Ryan Gosling should have easily won an Oscar for his performance.

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9 Responses to I should be on Mystery Diagnosis.

  1. aislin @ scribbles by a. February 3, 2012 at 13:09 #

    not going to lie, didn’t read all the post but did see the picture of ryan gosling. instantly started drooling and clicked on link. discovered yet ANOTHER great review for that movie! so it just made my evening’s movie list 🙂
    aislin @ scribbles by a. recently posted..five things friday. Superbowl servings.My Profile

    • Elle February 3, 2012 at 16:08 #

      I have the same problem with Ryan Gosling. I just see his assss….abs and that’s all I need. 😉

  2. Monica DeLaCruz February 3, 2012 at 14:07 #

    aw! hope you get some relief with surgery. i know sinus stuff can mess you up! have a great weekend. btw – LOVED wineconed. funny stuff.

    • Elle February 3, 2012 at 16:14 #

      Thanks! As long as they give me meds for the pain, I’ll be happy. 🙂

      Tricia is a genius with Wineconed Wednesday. I’ve almost peed myself from reading it. 😀

  3. Jes February 4, 2012 at 08:53 #

    Please don’t feel guilt about allowing your sweet Hummingbird to begin experiencing the world on her own! Though we feel it our purpose as parents to guide and protect our children, this does not and should not be literal for every moment of their lives. We teach as much by trusting them to explore and gain independence, to socialize and journey through their toddlerhood, learning as they go – after all, the majority of their lives will be lived and spent away from us, and our most profound and brave gift to them should be preparing them and trusting them to do so! She’ll do great! Hope your sinus surgery is the cure. Hang in there!

  4. Rachel February 4, 2012 at 14:34 #

    Prednisone is awful! It always makes me crazy, and I suddenly hate everyone and everything. I’m glad you only have 2 days left and I hope you don’t have to go back on it anytime soon 🙂

  5. anne nahm February 5, 2012 at 15:20 #

    Having had surgery involving sinuses, I cringe for you and send hugs at the same time. Also, this line: this shit makes me feel more nutty than the locker rooms at the Super Bowl. Timely and rotfy.

  6. Maysel February 13, 2012 at 04:23 #

    I understand what you feel.. I am so tired of Prednisone! I pray for your successful surgery.. I think you have a great sense of humor..
    Maysel recently posted..flat rate moversMy Profile

  7. Ynna February 24, 2012 at 01:12 #

    I hope that your surgery will be successful and i will pray for your fast recovery. Just be strong and keep the faith.
    Ynna recently posted..Happy New Year To All Of You And Hope You Like The Aquarium Fish Photos Here …My Profile

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