Monster-in-laws are back.

*It’s that time of the month (no not that time) for crazy mother-in-law/in-law posts. Remember, if you’d like to vent about your in-laws and of course be anonymous, email me at elle dot mommyhood at gmail dot com. I’m making it a monthly thing so the next posting will be around April 5th.

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From “My mother-in-law makes me really stabby”

I’ve heard my gal friends say that they have the best MIL’s and oh-how-would-they-live-without. BLAH/GAG. I thought my MIL was great until I got pregnant and she bought me wine glasses. Because mine were “red wine glasses” and I needed “white wine glasses”. I would have been happy with a onesie or some brownies OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT DIDN’T INVOLVE DRINKING. I should’ve asked for a new bong too.

My DH thinks I blow her actions and comments out of proportion but you be the judge:

1. My MIL literally fought with me over when my anniversary was. It falls exactly 1 year after our son was born. To the date. Pretty sure when son turn 2 then it’s not our second anniversary. Because I sure would’ve loved to give birth AND get married in the same bed.

2. When son turned 3, we had a birthday party and MIL greeted MY friends at the door saying “hi, I’m T’s grandma.” Problem? The birthday party was for D, not my stepson T. That’s normal to forget whose birthday it was. Just like when DH bought flowers that day and MIL thought they were the 3 year old. AGAIN, it’s our fricking anniversary you dumbass.

3. MIL & FIL cannot visit together because we told them not to bring their gigantic dogs to our house(the hair, the constant attention to these animals). They apparently cannot find anyone to watch the dogs for a weekend and kenneling the dogs is “inhumane”.  Did you give BIRTH to the stupid dogs?

4. Pretty sure when I have grandkids and visit for 2 days, then I will be reading books to those kids and giving baths and bringing toys and generally being very happy to play with my latest bloodline. My MIL never offers any of that and when I ask her if she’d like to, her response is “well, I’ve got my wine glass so…” WHY ARE YOU HERE THEN?! Oh right for your son (see #5).

5. I only have boys so I get that moms and sons are close. But I would NEVER call my son, my “soul mate”.  SOUL MATE, didja hear that? MY MIL does on numerous occasions. She obviously doesn’t know the definition or is secretly in love with her son. Either way, it’s ridiculous.

6. She sleeps on the living room couch and bitches the kids wake her up at 7am. Sleep in the downstairs guest room then. Not MY fault you drank an entire bottle of wine and have to pee every 10 minutes.

I’m just going to end my little guest blog there-I suggest to anyone who thinks “no way is my MIL ever going to be that bad” then have a backup plan to move far away, marry an orphaned man, or buy untraceable poisons because guess what beotches, all MIL’s eventually kinda suck. Hehe. Married life is just fantastic with in-laws. I think that maybe why we all used to live until 50 so the in-laws were pretty much outta the picture before they could piss us off too much. Damn the new lifespan.

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From “Monet”

When my husband and I first got together, his mother was living with his sister and her family. Mind you, her family lives within spitting distance of my parents house. The house next door to my parents house came available to rent, and since my grandfather owns the house, I talked him into letting the in-laws rent the house from them. All worked out well until the in-laws decided not to pay rent for six months, and ended up getting kicked out of the house, so now my in-laws owe my grandfather $3,000 worth of back rent.

Now I can’t even invite both sides of the family to our son’s birthday parties because of how much tension there is. They see no need to pay it off because “technically” everyone’s family. Now every time I hear MIL commenting that she’s going to save up the money for whatever, all I can think is, “You can save up the money for something you don’t need, but you can’t save up the money to make the tension between the two families go away?” After they were evicted from my grandparents house, MIL had the nerve to list me as a reference for the house they are currently living in. I mean really now?

After I begged for my grandfather to let you live there, and you go and shit on both of us like that, I’m going to lie to a lady I’ve known all my life and tell her that you all are great renters. I think not. Not only do they owe my grandfather back rent for a house they haven’t lived in two years, they are also on the shit list with their children. My husband and I added his parents to our cell phone carrier when their phones got disconnected, with the expectation that they would pay half of our cell phone bill every month. They haven’t paid us a dime since August of 2009.

Their car insurance is under my husbands brother’s insurance policy, which is deducted straight from his paycheck where he works his first job. They were also supposed to be paying them, and since they haven’t, BIL had to go and get a second job to take care of his family. The SIL brings them groceries from time to time and any time they need anything done at the house they’re currently living in, they call her to attend to things. What I don’t understand is how in the hell if they both work two full time job, and one gets loads of overtime, how in the hell can they not afford to live on their own?

MIL on her own makes you feel like an idiot when you talk to her, making snide comments about anything and everyone she sees. What I love most about MIL is that she doesn’t listen to anything I tell her. MIL was looking for a vet to take her animals to, and I told her what vet my family had been using for years. Does she go to the one I recommend? Oh, no. She goes to the most expensive vet in the county, and then proceeds to complain about the bill.

MIL also needed to register her vehicle, and I had informed her that personalized plates would cost more on a yearly basis. She gets personalized plates and tells me that it’s not going to cost her more money, but down the road it sure does. Previously when she renewed her tags, she had to borrow money from BIL and once again put personalized tags on her vehicle.

Anytime I try to tell her something to save her some money, because Lord knows they never seem to have enough money, she doesn’t listen, she goes and does what she wants. Hello, I’ve lived in our county my whole life, and her only for 5 years or so. I think I know where the best place to go for the best rate is.

Sister in law is a nightmare. I cannot stand that hateful bitch. I swear if she had the money to go to the doctor, he would diagnose her with bipolar disorder! One minute, she’s your best friend, and the next, she’s wanting to rip your head off and bury you in her back yard. All I had ever known about her from even before my husband and I were together was that she was a bitch and she would back stab you the first chance she got. I’m pretty sure it was her who left my husband and I nice little messages the night before we got married, trying to tell me that I was all wrong for him, and I was going to ruin his life if we got married.

She told him that I was herpes infested (which I most definitely am not, I’ve got the blood test to prove it) and marrying me was going to be the biggest mistake of his life. Needless to say she was not invited to the wedding, although I was going to send her an invite to be nice, but she flat out made it known that if she got an invitation, she wouldn’t show because she didn’t agree with two people who hadn’t had any real dating time getting married. HELLO! YOUR BROTHER IS IN THE ARMY AND STATIONED 600 MILES FROM ME!

We saw each other at least twice a month and talked on the phone every day, until he got deployed to Iraq, in which I remained faithful and supported him the whole time. I managed his finances and took care of everything I needed to as if we were already married, but I guess that wasn’t good enough for her.

She has two children. The oldest was a surprise from a previous fling, the youngest from her husband. Oldest, God bless her heart, is the most shell of a person you have ever seen. Hubby and I have discussed ways to get custody of Oldest to save her from her life of hell but without any physical signs of beatings or things of that nature, no luck. They don’t beat her physically, but emotionally. That poor girl has no self esteem because her parents spend all day berating her for whatever reasons, and Youngest could commit a triple homicide and SIL would just look the other way.

Youngest has the sassiest mouth on the face of the Earth, telling his grandfather to shut up and that he doesn’t have to listen to him, and SIL just sits there and lets him get away with it. Long before I ever decided to have children with my husband, I made this nice long list of “Things My Children Will Never Do” and you can trust and believe that everything on that list came from things I’ve seen Youngest do. SIL also threatens divorce from her husband on a weekly basis, but the second anyone in the family tries to say anything remotely negative, she will defend him to the death.

BIL isn’t as terrible as the rest of them. Recently I learned that he had been lying about previously being enlisted in the Army. Hubby has been in the Army for 5 years, been deployed to Iraq twice, and is going to Afghanistan within the next two months. He’s risked his life twice already and BIL wants to claim he’s in the Army.

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2 Responses to Monster-in-laws are back.

  1. Charlie March 11, 2012 at 01:28 #

    OMG!! Nope, never gonna moan about my in-laws again!

  2. dysfunctional mom March 11, 2012 at 11:03 #

    My ex-MIL had a big part in ending my marriage. Of course, the spineless son she raised didn’t help the situation at all.
    So when I found out that my boyfriend’s mother lives in another flipping COUNTRY, I knew I had hit the jackpot! WOOHOOOO!!!
    So yeah, I feel your pain!
    dysfunctional mom recently posted..Now She BlogsMy Profile

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