I’m too sexy for my cat.

*said in Morgan Freeman’s voice because he’s the man* Three women get together to give you the sexiest men and women and to learn something from it.

We’ve learned that guys with accents are hot as hell and ummmm uhhhhh that’s pretty much it. Plus the “research” for this post was the best thing ever.

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Michelle (@MichelleMossey) likes walks on the beach, smooth jazz, and Christian Bale in rubber…..

“Hey sweet thing, can I buy you a fish sandwich?” – Tim Meadows as Ladies Man on SNL

Let me say that I would buy these guys a fish sandwich, a Big Mac, a McRib, a large fry, a Shamrock Shake, basically whatever they would like to have I would get for them. Oh yes, they can have whatever they would like…  Ahem.

What makes a man sexy?  Well, lots of things.  Here are just a few lucky ones..

·      Viggo Mortensen a la Aragorn in the ‘Lord of The Rings’. (Although, he is smoking hot in ‘A Perfect Murder’ as well.) He is the reluctant hero with a heart of gold.  He loves Arwen, the Elf Princess, with his whole heart and he would die defending her. Those blue bedroom eyes… So handsome and rugged. And come to think of it, kind of dirty, like he needs a shower.  Oh so dirty…

·      Christian Bale.  Not Christian Bale the anorexic in ‘The Machinist’ or Christian Bale the crack head in ‘The Fighter’. No friends, I am talking about Christian Bale as ‘Batman’. He worked hard to get those huge muscles and I, for one, am thankful that he did. And his gravelly voice. Whew boy! Remember that scene where he jumps out of bed and starts doing push-ups. Or the scene on the dock when the bad guy asks aloud where he is and Batman whispers, “I’m here.”  Shut your mouth! HOT-NESS.

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·      Hugh Jackman. The man can act,sing and dance. Booyah!  But I love him the best a la Wolverine in ‘X-Men’. (Okay, if I am being honest, I love him in ‘Real Steel’, “The Prestige’, even ‘Swordfish’. Oh heck! I lust, er, I mean love him in everything.) Those sinewy muscles (MEOW), the bad-assedness (yes, it’s a word) and even the Wolverinehair…  Also, he got married in real life before he became famous and he is STILL married to her. If  Hugh Jackman was a ride at an amusement park, I would be first in line to get on that ride. You follow? RAWR.

·      Alexander Skarsgard a la Eric Northman on True Blood.  This guy is one bad-ass vampire.  He can be ruthless, cruel and cutthroat.  And dang, if that ain’t sexy. To put the cherry on top, he has a soft spot for the human psychic, Sookie.  The scene in Season 3 when Eric tells Sookie that when he goes to face his true death his only regret will be not kissing her, then they passionately smooch each other’sfaces off. Oh. Em. Gee. I would slice open a vein myself for you, Eric Northman.

·      Sam Worthington.  You may know of him from a little movie called ‘Avatar’ or ‘Clash of the Titans’. There is something about that lopsided grin, those lovely brown eyes and his Australian accent. (I love me some Australian accents.)  He always appears to be vulnerable, yet confident. I can’t quite put my finger on it (but I’d like to). Oh snap!

·      Ryan Gosling. (You know I was going to go here, people!) His smirk, his luxurious golden tresses, and his abs. His FREAKING ABS! *Sigh*. I need a minute…

·      My Hubby. He is handsome (like I would marry an ugly person).  He is hilarious (like the third funniest person I know). He is smart (like Einstein, scary smart). But best of all, he is a great father who adores our kids.  And it doesn’t get any sexier than that.

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Tricia (@TCStream) likes hand to hand combat, can change two diapers at once, and dreams of moving onto the set of Hawaii 5-0.

Despite my kindergarten teachers admonition (on my Permanent Record even) that “Tricia spends too much time playing with the boys,” or perhaps because of it – I’ve always been“one of the guys.” Therefore, once I decided cooties were tolerable, I had a strict set of criteria to describe sexy.

·     Smart. (Gotta be able to partake in the witty banter.)

·     Funny. (Major points for making me laugh.)

·     Handsome. (Embracing my shallowness here. Sexy is smiling when I look at you.)

·     Athletic. (I won’t lie. My first celebrity crush was Orel Hershiser of the 1988 Los Angeles Dodgers.Tangent – 5 is my lucky number.)

I know. That really narrows down the playing field (aside from Orel, of course). So I’ll go ahead and share some examples. (I am aware some of these are fictional. Stop judging me.)

Steve McGarrett – Played by Alex O’Loughlin, the new Hawaii 5-0 Navy Seal turned 5-0 commander. Now, Alex hails from down under, so as it is, he’s got the sexy Aussie accent going for him. (Yes, please.) But let’s getback to Steve. Put a man in uniform and you’ve got my attention. With his brilliant bromance banter (Maybe it’s the writers who are sexy. Writers are sexy, right?) he’s got me laughing for an hour straight as he cleans up paradise – also known as Hawaii.

Seriously, people. Steve. Is. Sexy. I cannot emphasize this enough.

Alison Krauss and Carrie Underwood

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Now. Because I’ve earned my stripes as “one of the guys,” I also feel qualified to comment on some female sexiness. (Also, I am a female, and yes – we totally check each other out. That’s right. I’m looking at you.)

Sothe curtains are down / For the moment I’m someone

He’s the devil in disguise / A snake with blue eyes

Music touches us. Sometimes (even in the life of a writer), where words fail – the music speaks and melodies become the memory. Add a hot girl ontop of that, and I’m totally smitten.

McDreamy and McSteamy – I’ve watched Grey’s Anatomy since season one. I was utterly addicted for the first few seasons – speaking during my Thursday night drama viewing was completely unacceptable. I remained loyal even through the Dead Denny Duquet story line. (Not sexy. Absolutely ridiculous. Bumped the show from Must See TV to Must Watch At Some Point After DVRing.)

 

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Patrick Dempsy as McDreamy – Saving lives with wayward heart throb looks at those he loves. And then Eric Dane joined the cast as McSteamy. Hello hot X-Man. What can I say? Grey’s hasMcDreamy and McSteamy, I have my McStreamy.)

McStreamy – Male or female, true sexiness is the sight of a man in uniform – whether that be standing tall and proud, ready to defend county or country, or sprawled out in sweats changing diapers and cuddling tiny twins.

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Elle *waves hands* can be found right here, is really a surfboard, and has Eddie Vedder riding her frequently….

Ryan Gosling –  The man is a hottie. I have to admit that when I saw The Notebook the first five or so times he didn’t really do anything for me but after that, mmmm…mmmm…mmmm…good!

If you haven’t seen him in the movie Fracture or Half-Nelson yet then it’s a must. In one he’s a lawyer and in the other he’s a Crackie McCrackhead but he’s still delicious in both.

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Mark Ruffalo -Those brown eyes of his turn me into jello. It also doesn’t hurt that he shows his assets in most of the movies he does.

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Hey Mark, are you trying to make my uterus explode by the cuteness overload?!

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Hans Matheson – One night when I had insomnia, there was a movie I found on television called Stella Does Tricks (with Kelly Macdonald), which Hans was in, and I’ve been drooling since.

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Johnny Depp – I’ve had the biggest crush on him since I was 9 and he’ll always be on me my top 5 freebie list.

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Eddie Vedder – I think the picture speaks for itself.

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Of course I can’t forget about the women.

Naomi Watts – I think she’s gorgeous and have such a girl crush on her.

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Kerry Washington – Again, I think the pictures speak for themselves. Yowza!

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 Who do you find sexy? Who’s on your 5 freebie list?

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11 Responses to I’m too sexy for my cat.

  1. Melissa March 21, 2012 at 05:42 #

    Vin Diesel, Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson (but not when he actually was the Rock), Mel Gibson (before we found out he was an anti-Semitic girlfriend abuser), Gerard Butler (talk about an accent!)

    Catherine Zeta-Jones, Scarlett Johansson

    • Elle March 21, 2012 at 20:54 #

      I was the same with Mel Gibson. He ruined all those years I thought he was a hottie and sane.

  2. Monica DeLaCruz March 21, 2012 at 10:29 #

    Johnny Depp – freebie. he is delicious. If I could look like any woman I think I’d look like Halle Berry. Hubby crushes on her, so that would work out great.

    • Elle March 21, 2012 at 20:52 #

      Love Halle Berry. She always looks amazing on the red carpet. I want her stylist! 🙂

  3. Marianna Annadanna March 21, 2012 at 11:19 #

    OH my gosh Ryan Gosling is my lover.
    Marianna Annadanna recently posted..The time has come.My Profile

    • Elle March 21, 2012 at 20:49 #

      I’ll share him with you. 😉 Do you want him on weekends or Monday-Friday?

  4. CafeKate March 24, 2012 at 19:21 #

    For both his accent sexiness and floppy-haired-school-boy looks, it’s Ewan McGregor – I think that man is handsome and always sexy!

    I think Halle Berry, JLo and Catherine Zeta Jones have great figures that I’d love.

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