Mommyhood, the real deal.

Wendy from A Nervous Tic Motion wrote a very real and honest post that is a must read called Anger Management.

When the little hummingbird had been home a week, I thought I was going to lose my mind from lack of sleep. When she was down for her morning nap, I climbed into bed and started crying. I was trying to figure out what in the hell I was doing wrong as a mom to have her cry so much.

I was thinking of all the people who have a baby and a few days later say motherhood is the best thing ever and my life is complete now. I thought what the fuck because I was far from feeling that way. I knew I loved my daughter but at that moment, I just wanted to walk out the front door.

I felt so ashamed that I had been waiting years to have a baby and now that she was here, I wanted to have some peace and quiet and not be bothered by a crying baby who wouldn’t let me get more than 2 hours of sleep at a time.

It took some time to really feel like a mom and fall in love with my daughter.

Have you ever felt ashamed or guilty because of how you felt about your child? Did you keep it to yourself or did you share your feelings with someone? And don’t worry, this is a safe place to vent and not be criticized. xx

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7 Responses to Mommyhood, the real deal.

  1. Monica DeLaCruz April 24, 2012 at 11:03 #

    i felt that, too. and i had soooooooo much trouble with breast feeding, etc., etc. i so wish could have voiced my $hit to my friends, but i just didn’t feel the courage. going to read a nervous tic post now. ;o)

  2. Melissa April 24, 2012 at 11:46 #

    Uh, yeah!!! The first 10 days I cried all the time. I just. wanted. to. sleep. It was so hard… the first 8 months were so hard! I swore we wouldn’t have another one.
    Melissa recently posted..First SleepoverMy Profile

  3. WeezaFish April 24, 2012 at 17:11 #

    Ah, sleep deprivation rears it’s ugly head. No sleep = little or no tolerance with me. Great post on Anger Management, so honest. I’ve lost count of the number of times a day I swear under my breath, shout when there’s really no need or benefit to do so or have to walk away from a situation with my kids and count to ten. Sometimes a lot higher than ten.
    WeezaFish recently posted..I’m Wicked and I’m LaaazyMy Profile

  4. Angie April 24, 2012 at 17:19 #

    The first few weeks with my daughter I didn’t want anything to do with her. My husband took care of her most of the time. I just wanted to sit in a chair and stare at the wall. I pumped and then eventually switched to formula so I was able to get a bit more sleep than nursing moms, but i remember a few nights of crying because I couldn’t figure out why she wouldn’t sleep. It took me almost a year to admit to my husband how i felt after she was born.
    Angie recently posted..I survived!My Profile

  5. Christene April 24, 2012 at 17:26 #

    I totally know how you feel. I felt the same way. Twice. It was a little better with Ducky, but I still felt like “Oh my God CHILD! GO. TO. SLEEP!” It is normal. There is nothing to feel guilty about.
    Christene recently posted..Boot Mystery Solved and I Need A PedicureMy Profile

  6. Lisa April 27, 2012 at 14:16 #

    I can remember VIVIDLY staring out the living room window after my daughter was born – thinking that my life was over. I had two teenage sons at home, had lost a baby to stillbirth 3 years before, had a 1 year old running all over and a newborn baby who all she did was scream and cry for 6-looooong months. So this was my FIFTH kid, never had a problem before, had a baby DIE and remember feeling so guilty for wishing this last child had never been born. It took almost a year for me to feel like myself again. My daughter is 13 now and the love of my life, but it wasn’t easy. I’ve talked to her about how I felt when she was born. I explained to her what PPD is and how long it can last and the effect it has. I want both my daughters (and my sons as well) to know that parenthood isn’t always sunshine and unicorns so that if/when the time comes that they have children and possibly feel the same resentment that most of us have at one time or another, I want them to not feel guilty about it, and to talk about it with me or anybody who will listen that has been there.

  7. Duffi April 27, 2012 at 20:33 #

    I still remember, 18 years later, how awful I felt. How she, my beloved daughter, was eating me alive. I’d be crying for that 2 am feeding. I wanted it all to stop. I wanted to sleep, and there was no sleep. I couldn’t even take a shower! It was harder than almost anything I’ve ever done. I did recover, but I have a brand on my psyche from those days. Thanks for providing a space so I can release some of this!

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