Vampires, Werewolves and Zombies, oh my! If I am going to read a book or watch a movie, I will usually pick one of these three. I know lots of people think horror movies are too scary. To me, they are entertaining. They are entertaining to me because I know they are not real. (Sorry to burst your bubble, Team Edward fans. It just ain’t gonna happen.)
Now take movies or books about demonic possession, kidnappings or serial killers. N TO THE O. I will NOT be watching these movies ever. If these things can happen in real life, there is no way I am going to watch a movie about them. (I still have never watched ‘Silence of The Lambs’. No joke.)
In honor of my favorite show, ‘The Walking Dead’, I thought I would write a post about zombies. I think I like zombies so much because they remind me of myself.
* Zombies moan “Brainsss! Brainsss!” I moan “Coffeeee! Coffeeee!” Do not try to have a conversation of any substance with me before I have consumed at least five sips of coffee. (Yes, it is true. It is a well-known fact that it takes at least five sips of coffee to get into your system.)
*Zombies shuffle around. I shuffle around. After getting up several times during the night with the boys, I am feeling extremely tired. Therefore, there is no ‘pep in my step’, hence the shuffling.
*Zombies appear disheveled. I appear disheveled. Let’s face it. Running around after two kids under the age of 4 does not leave a great deal of time in my beauty regime. If I leave the house with my teeth clean, hair brushed and deodorant on, I feel like a beauty queen. (Bring on the paparazzi!)
*Zombies look unkempt. I look unkempt. My kids like to give me hugs. A lot of times they will give me hugs right after they have eaten Oreos or just sneezed the biggest sneeze ever, so I end up with some of these things on me. So, no I am not homeless, I just have small kids that like to wipe things on me. (Mama, the human Kleenex.)
So, the next time you are walking into Target and you look over and see someone who looks like the walking dead ambling towards you, start screaming, “The apocalypse is here! The apocalypse is here!” Oh wait. False alarm! It’s just me running into Target for some paper towels and light bulbs.
*If you’d like to guest post, whether or not you have a blog, email me at elle dot mommyhood at gmail dot com.