Total Recall: If I Wanted To Be Verbally Attacked, I Wouldn’t Go To The Grocery Store. I Would Visit My MIL.

*Here’s a Total Recall post that I wrote back on November 9, 2010.

It started off innocent enough. My husband, daughter, and I went to a commissary for groceries at a nearby base on Saturday. Before we went inside the store, my hubby was getting a pack of water and asked me what brand I wanted. We use reusable water bottles but still get bottled water at times.

He joked about getting a brand I don’t like (I know it’s just water but I can be picky) and I told him to get the other water. While this was going on, I noticed a woman standing behind us. There wasn’t room for her to pass since the entrance to the commissary was narrow. Then I realized she was waiting on my hubby so she could get some water.

When he got it in the cart, the woman walked up and told her teenage son to get a certain brand of water because the other one (the one we got) sucked since “they use less plastic and it’s crinkly sounding”. I felt like she was only saying that to be a bitch and was trying to start something with us. Then I shrugged it off and thought I was just jumping to conclusions. You would think I would have learned to trust my instincts by now.

Somehow she ended up getting in front of us. The commissary we go to checks for military ID and there was a woman on the left side and a man on the right checking as you’re walking into the store. My husband was pushing the cart and I was holding the little hummingbird.

There was an older man in front of us and the woman and he was slowly making his way onto a motorized scooter. So while we were standing there waiting, I told my hubby to wipe the cart down before we put our daughter in it. Out of nowhere this woman starts yelling at my hubby. “Stop pushing your cart into me!!! Can’t you watch where you’re going?!!! You keep running into me!!!” She kept going on and on. She said plenty of crazy gems but I’ve forgotten them since I waited to write this. Mommy brain.

The thing was, my hubby wasn’t even close to this crazy woman. If he had bumped into her, he would have said he was sorry but he was like 2 feet away from her. All we were doing was standing behind this mental case. My hubby and I don’t go walking around looking for fights and neither of us likes confrontation. I can be quite the talker once I get to know someone but I’m really shy and the hubs is super quiet.

The whole thing was so surreal and at first I thought I would just keep quiet and let my hubby take care of it. He kept on apologizing and said he never hit her and then she started bitching about how we seemed to “act like we owned the damn stack of water” when we were getting our pack. Holy phucking crap lady! That’s when I could no longer be quiet and I simply told her that my husband never hit her with the cart.

This must have been exactly what she wanted because then she really started freaking out on us. We were only a few feet into the grocery store and the ID checkers were just standing there. I was still holding my daughter so she was yelling at the both of us right in front of our 19 month old and in front of her teenage son. Fortunately the little girl wasn’t crying and was just staring at this crazy woman probably thinking “what the hell is your problem?”

People were looking and I just couldn’t even believe how psycho this woman was. I hear about these weird things that happen when it comes to dumb situations where the police are called and it had me worried that would be the case with this. This woman had long, over-bleached hair and while she was yelling and flipping out, it would sway back and forth. I would never do this but there were a few times when I had the urge to grab her hair and drop kick her.

Then a slew of four letter words were entering my mind and as much as I would have loved to lay some on her, I had the self-control she obviously lacked. That’s when 3 more words popped into my head. Words I have never used before despite my husband being in the military for 14 years. I thought it was fitting since here we were on a base at the commissary so as she started to walk away, still yelling at us, I told her God Bless America!

You can only imagine how much she loved me saying that. She turned back around to continue her yelling that had been going on for several minutes. Then she started walking off again and as she was going into the produce section, she called me a bitch. And I thought going to visit my MIL was going to be the most terrifying thing this month.

Surprisingly, I was able to get a picture of this crazy woman.

If you see this crazy woman, run!

What’s one of the craziest situations you’ve experienced with a stranger?

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4 Responses to Total Recall: If I Wanted To Be Verbally Attacked, I Wouldn’t Go To The Grocery Store. I Would Visit My MIL.

  1. shannon July 12, 2012 at 07:59 #

    when my son was around 4, we were standing in line at the grocery store and he was standing up in the back of the cart helping me unload. an older gentleman standing in line behind us looked right at my kid and then wanged our cart with his. i try to have respect for my elders, but that was pushing it. i moved the cart forward by almost a full foot, and about 10 seconds later the guy did it again. after i pulled the kid out of the cart and put him on the floor, i told the guy to cut it out, that if he hit our cart again i would do it back to him. all he did was stare at me, didn’t say a word or apologize or freak out, absolutely nothing. that was around 10 years ago and still sticks in my head as one of the bizarrest (not to mention rudest!) experiences i have ever had with a stranger…

  2. Christene July 12, 2012 at 12:51 #

    Ever since I read this post originally over a year ago, I have thought of you every time I buy bottled water at the grocery store….
    Christene recently posted..Cheers! Happy Birthday/ Anniversary!My Profile

  3. Sarah July 12, 2012 at 18:20 #

    Wow. I am amazed at your self control. I would have been tempted to tell her what a crazy bitch I thought she was and then felt bad because…well…I always feel bad when I treat people badly whether they deserve it or not. I also always reconsider being ticked at people on base because I always figure they’re dealing with deployment or post deployment PTS(with or without the “D”). But that doesn’t forgive the person who stole our yellow ribbon magnet that said “keep daddy safe” off our car when it was in the commissary parking lot. Who does something like that? Maybe it was your crazy lady!

  4. Deirdre July 14, 2012 at 01:00 #

    My husband still teases me about an experience we had while dating. We were in a chain store lounging in the lawn furniture display while discussing our plans while two ladies shopped near by. One is dressed like most women dress while shopping but the other looked like she was ready to go clubbing. (If that club were for older ladies seeking the attention of much younger men. Can you say, “Cougar?”) My then boyfriend notices that I am observing something and glances over his shoulder while we continue talking. Moments later, the cougar struts away while saying, “I know what you are looking at.” in a sing-songy voice. Her arrogance baffled us but I guess I have to give her points for confidence.

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