Feeling Lost

I’ve been going through a really hard time lately with so many things in my life. After 30 something years, I’ve had it with the people in my life who treat me like a doormat.

I never realized before just how much I practically kill myself when it comes to trying to please everyone. I can’t do it anymore.

I just feel really lost right now. I thought my life was planned out after I had the little hummingbird.

This year my life has taken a really unexpected turn and things just aren’t the same. I feel like I’m getting some of my spark back and I’m finally getting a real handle on my life.

I need to speak up more, not give a fuck what anyone thinks because they don’t know my life, and start to take more control before I lose my grip.

I look at the picture above and see all the obstacles I have to go through before I can reach the light. I just hope I can stay strong.

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8 Responses to Feeling Lost

  1. Sandra July 21, 2012 at 11:09 #

    I understand what you’re going through completely. I think the best advice i can give is to hang in there and know that with each phase of our life comes growth
    ….i hate to sound all philosophical but i remember that lost feeling so clearly, it is disturbing…hang in there.
    Sandra recently posted..Controversy and the people pleaserMy Profile

  2. Emily Fowler July 21, 2012 at 13:37 #

    Remember that even with all those obstacles, there are patches of light even now (just look at the Hummingbird!) and use those to fuel you as you move towards the sunshine!

  3. Stephanie July 21, 2012 at 15:41 #

    I went through a tough time not so long ago and realized I truly was ‘tough like woodpecker lips”. I take a lot less crap from people now and speak my mind. There is a brighter side. I promise.

  4. icescreammama July 22, 2012 at 04:21 #

    life is not always a day in the park. stay true to you. find your sunshine. look at it. love it. let it surround you. f them all.
    icescreammama recently posted..A Boy and a Girl in a Little Canoe with the Moon Shining All Around…My Profile

  5. Rachel July 22, 2012 at 11:07 #

    It’s always hard when things suddenly don’t go the way you planned. I found out a few months ago that the person I was dating and planning on marrying didn’t love me anymore. I was, and am, devastated, because nothing is going to go the way I thought it would. Instead, I suddenly have new opportunities and perhaps a new future. I may be able to realize my dream of moving to Seattle and working as the director for a great non-profit in the next few years, instead of waiting on someone else to be ready for that.

    I don’t know exactly what has changed in your life, but I’m sure that, even though it sucks and is difficult to handle, it will work out. As others have said, you have your little hummingbird to be your bright spot.
    Rachel recently posted..My Cat is an Evil GeniusMy Profile

  6. monica July 22, 2012 at 18:04 #

    hang in, girlie! things WILL get better. big virtual hug to you! :o)
    monica recently posted..Are you there Blog? It’s me Monica.My Profile

  7. LeeAnne July 24, 2012 at 05:42 #

    When tough stuff happens, my Mom has a great saying – That’s Life and what is Life? A magazine. Flip the page and get on with Life!! That has helped me tremendously in the last few years when I feel like I am spiraling out of control. As far as saying what I want to say, I’ve always done that. I am a doormat for people I love and will do ANYTHING for them. Unfortuately, sometimes that is a one-way street. i agree with what has been said. Be TRUE to yourself and your friends will understand and if they don’t they were not friends to begin with!! Think of Buttmunch and Hummingbird as your “anchor” in a rough sea. Oh – BTW – Hope we get to see you on your journey here!!!

  8. Christine July 27, 2012 at 14:27 #

    I feel like having a child is so profound that you can’t help but notice things you didn’t before. I don’t know if it’s the change of focus, but I can totally relate. :0)

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