Get Down On Your Knees

My husband’s family is pretty religious and his grandmother would always not at all gently remind us to go to church.

Even my in-laws pressured us into baptizing the little hummingbird, which we haven’t yet but I do want to give her a blessing at our local Unitarian Universalist church sometime.

My MIL had it all planned out, down to the church and when we would do it, but I had to put my foot down.

When my husband and I were newlyweds, I would try so hard to jump on the religion bandwagon and dragged him to churches over the years.

One time we went to a church service and as usual, I just wasn’t feeling it. Then it happened.

I got major church giggles.

It was more like church hysterics.

I was doing okay and then we got up to sing. As we stood up singing about Jesus, the lyrics started to make me giggle.

The song was something about getting on your knees before Jesus and praising him. Something along those lines.

My mind went into the gutter and I started to think about blow jobs. In church. While singing about Jesus.

It got to the point where I had to stifle my laughter every time the chorus about getting down on your knees was sung.

It took all that I had to try to contain my composure.

Guess what?

It didn’t work.

I started laughing so hard that I even snorted a few times. By the time the song was over, I had tears running down my face and was laughing so hard that I couldn’t breathe.

My husband and I quickly went out of the church and made our way to the car.

The hubby only had one thing to say.

“So much for going to that church again”

I am so going to hell.

When have you laughed inappropiately in a situation?

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6 Responses to Get Down On Your Knees

  1. Stephanie October 29, 2012 at 11:48 #

    My sister, my cousins, and I are no longer allowed to sit near each other during funerals. We get the giggles EVERY. TIME. At the last one my cousin elbowed me so hard in the side I jumped up out of my chair. I don’t know what gets us started, but we can’t stop once we do. Even the glares of little old ladies were no match for our inappropriate humor. Toward the end of the service I could no longer control myself and left the room to “go check on the children”. God, I hope they thought I was overcome by grief.

  2. monica October 29, 2012 at 12:40 #

    i often giggle at inappropriate times. mostly when i see people falling. it’s not really funny – but i find it hilarious. :o/ oops!
    monica recently posted..NoGoEvNevWritMoinNo, Ho.My Profile

  3. Amanda Hollenbaugh October 29, 2012 at 13:51 #

    Oh man, I always get the giggles at inappropriate time. Never fails. This is the best yet, though :D

  4. Mama Mary October 29, 2012 at 20:49 #

    My uncontrollable giggles had to do with my MIL and Jesus too. One time at the Christmas Day dinner, the first time I had spent that holiday with her, she said the prayer and in her thick Korean accent said, “Happy Birshday, Jesus” and I all but spit my holy wine all over the table. I completely cracked up and could not get it together. It was awful

  5. dysfunctional mom October 30, 2012 at 19:34 #

    You mean besides just now when I saw the ads beside your post for Christian Mingle & “Want to become a pastor”? LMAO
    That would be earlier tonight when my patient was trying to say a guy “whittled” something for her but she said “nibbled” and her son said “MOM! He NIBBLED your peanut?! That’s highly inappropriate!” I Had to leave the room. To die.
    dysfunctional mom recently posted..Right Where I Need to BeMy Profile

    • Elle October 30, 2012 at 19:46 #

      OMG, I’m dying right now. I can’t stop laughing. Way to go, Google ads. LOL!

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