What the hell? I’m a mom?!

Even after 3 years, sometimes I still don’t feel like a mom. I’ll feel like I’m just pretending to be one. When my little girl calls me mommy, it can make me pause at times and I’ll think “what? me?!”

I used to think once I had a baby, BAM!… my mommyness, whatever that is, would come out instantly.

Ummm, nope, that’s not the way it worked with me.

The first year was especially hard for me. I was dealing with Postpartum PTSD and felt somewhat disconnected from my child. I would think to myself “what did I get into?”

My husband seemed to be a natural father but I felt like no matter how hard I tried, I was a failure at being a mom to my daughter.

While seeing my husband be so at ease with the little hummingbird, I felt so inadequate.

Even after a few years, I still don’t feel like I’m up to par with other moms. I read blogs and see how other moms appear to be the ideal mom. Homemade and nutritious meals, no television, crafts and activities galore, etc.

I used to try so hard to be that kind of my and it drained me. That’s not who I am. It makes it harder that my sister-in-law is that type of mom which make my mother-in-law even more critical of me.

Then I feel even more inadequate and I’ll push myself more to be someone I’m not which is downright exhausting.

I can’t put this pressure on myself anymore. So what if my daughter doesn’t have a homemade Halloween costume since I can’t sew.

So what if I’m too tired to read more than one book at night before bedtime.

I’m not supermom. I’m anything but supermom and that’s okay.

Let’s get it in our heads that what we are is good enough for our children.

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6 Responses to What the hell? I’m a mom?!

  1. Angie November 5, 2012 at 14:35 #

    I couldn’t agree with you more! I always feel so inadequate at times with my child. I know I let her watch way too much tv, and I don’t make fun crafts for her to do. I do what I can to the best of my ability, and I think that is what counts.

    Your daughter is happy spending time with you in whatever capacity that is. She doesn’t know what other families do. All she knows is mom spends time with me and that is what matters.
    Angie recently posted..Highs and LowsMy Profile

  2. monica November 5, 2012 at 14:51 #

    oh, you really don’t know how much i needed to read this post right now. THANK YOU! we are going through some really tough family times over here and it’s sooooooooo nice to read that there are other not-perfect people out there. xoxoxo.
    monica recently posted..LOVE your hairdresser. But, don’t let her get you pregnant.My Profile

  3. Allison November 6, 2012 at 07:20 #

    I guess, I’m blog stalking you today!! I just read this article the other day, it might help…..These moms that make the child the centre of their universe and do nothing but cater to their every whim are not doing them any favors…….
    http://connectedfamilies.org/2012/03/21/the-new-problem-of-entitlement/

    I am not religious, but I really got a lot out of this article. I don’t feel like a Mom pretty much every day, but to my kids, I am all they know. Being a mom to a child is what you make it…..little hummingbird doesn’t know anything but you, and you are Mom to her.

    Just because I am not simmering over with that maternal momminess that all these other moms apparently have doesn’t mean, I don’t get to be a mom AND? more importantly, it doesn’t mean I am not good at it! thats what I say!
    Allison recently posted..changes….My Profile

  4. SM Johnson November 6, 2012 at 12:30 #

    I was so surprised to discover, after the birth of my Sprite, that I was still just me, only now I have to bring a baby everywhere I go. I was a little disappointed. We don’t all have the super mom gene, but we can encourage our children to be independent and think for themselves, and also to learn how to amuse themselves. Those are gifts that will last a lifetime.

    Ps, it gets easier when they start school! You have more time to be you again.
    SM Johnson recently posted..SM Johnson ~ Fuzzy Friday ~ Ferrets anyone?My Profile

  5. Elizabeth November 7, 2012 at 13:57 #

    I blame it on too much reading. Now I do not advocate illiteracy however I think all “mom’s” can benefit from a little less book. Enough with the methods and doctrine! Women are too amazing to become slaves to a book. You hit the nail on the head, if we love our children as best we can, then what we are IS good enough. It’s great enough!
    Elizabeth recently posted..ten reasons why other mom’s give me the stink eyeMy Profile

  6. Sharon November 9, 2012 at 00:15 #

    I think that every mum feels like they are doing a bad job sometimes. I remember when my girls were toddlers looking at clothes brochures with other toddlers in them and thinking, how do they get the children with clean hair, in matching clothes, with no food stains on clothes or faces, no snot, not whining or screaming, not looking exhasted from some passing bug and smiling? How? How? The stars certainly never aligned like for me.

    They are just moving in to school and they are still grotty and annoying.

    I figure if they draw a picture of you when they get told to draw someone they like to hug at preschool, things are fine, which is all they have to be.

    Depression makes it hard to feel close to people. Work on getting better and regluing will come.

    Good luck
    Sharon recently posted..Arg, I have squeezed out another coatMy Profile

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