The elf on the shelf is back… fuck me.

Last year I mentioned that the elf on the shelf creeps me out and this year, whenever I go on Peenterest, I see all kinds of creepy elf on the shelf ideas.

I don’t know about ya’ll but I’m so glad my mom didn’t hide a little creepy elf around the house during Christmas time. If she did, I must have blocked it out from being traumatized.

I finally caved and bought an elf. Now that I have it, I still find it creepy as hell. The hummingbird hasn’t seen it yet because the elf has been too busy going through my goody bag.

It all started when I heard a thumping and vibrating sound coming from the closet. I just got the elf earlier that day so I was wondering what kind of trouble she could be getting into already.

I opened the closet and to my horror, I saw this…

That bitch was using my vibrator. She claimed she was “using it for a back problem”. Yeah, right.

Naughty, naughty elf.

*I’ve entered this into the inappropriate elf contest.

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4 Responses to The elf on the shelf is back… fuck me.

  1. Sue H November 29, 2012 at 08:17 #

    OMG! I want to thank you. For one: Elf on the Shelf is a small, effeminate vesion of Chucky. So creepy! and two: Making me spit my coffee out all over my laptop with that pic. Elf likes the jackrabbit! Bravo!

  2. Ericka C December 1, 2012 at 12:42 #

    At least the elf will have a smile on her face today!

  3. Everyday Empress December 6, 2012 at 10:09 #

    Hahaha!
    Everyday Empress recently posted..Seeking the Humor in LifeMy Profile

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