I’m a loser…. baby.

fuck2

OMG, there’s a war going on, run for cover, agghhhhhh!

Thanks to some very lovely fuckhead, they put this post of mine, Toddler PMS, on the child free community page on Reddit. While I do write some serious things, I really like to take every day issues when it comes to parenting, and make light of it.

Everyone needs a laugh.

For me personally, I love to read things that I can relate to and feel much better that I’m not the only one.

I was ambushed by this child free community but I don’t blame the community as a whole. I deleted several comments that were hateful before I finally said fuck it and approved others that came my way.

At first I was hurt by being slammed with such hateful messages but after a few days, I just thought these people were fucking insane.

Just the losers that had to tell me what a shitty parent I am because they think I can’t control my child. I wrote that post when the humingbird wasn’t quite 2, and if you’re a parent. WOW, you know how a kid can be at that age.

Especially when they can’t verbalize what they want.

Here’s the link to what was on Reddit:

“Saw this on my Facebook feed. There’s absolutely NOTHING parents can do about a screaming toddler, didn’t you know? It’s not like it’s their own child or anything for which they are responsible.”

The comments that barraged me were so hateful, these people were reading my Twitter feed, and sending me email. Only because I have a child and I wrote about a particulary bad day that we had 2 years ago, which is when I wrote that post. Just a post where I was trying to find the funny side to parenting so we don’t lose our minds.

I also love in that link that they bashed that I even had time to blog. You see CF”ers, there’s this little thing called preschool and bedtime when I can have some time to write.

I would like to say a big thank you to Leah for an email she sent where she apologized on behalf of this child free commnunity. As I’ve said before, I don’t think all child free people are this hateful.

Most of the comments were cruel and pretty fucking stupid. I can easily be immature and sink down to a bottom feeder’s level, which is what I did in most comments. But here’s a comment that I’m down with. She was actually adult about it, unlike the others, so I acted like one too.

Kaereste February 13, 2013 at 16:31 

Hm. My mother would have taken me straight home if I threw a fit in a store. That was not acceptable behavior. If I fought her on the way to the park, I wouldn’t get to go to the park. I was never spanked, but I knew there were consequences for acting out. Basically, if I couldn’t behave in public, I wouldn’t be out in public.

She managed to do this as a single mother. There is really no reason to tolerate temper tantrums.

Elle February 14, 2013 at 00:45

Hi Kaereste. Thank you for your comment. As I’ve already said to someone else,, this was just a glimpse into my life, which was a particulary bad day. My daughter is normally well behaved. It took her a little longer to start talking and this happened when she wasn’t quite 2.

For a while, it was very difficult communicating verbally with her because I didn’t always know what her needs were since she couldn’t tell me. This is when she would act out and I can see how frustrating that could be for her.

It’s not that I tolerate her tantrums, There are just some days when a child will be unpredictable and cranky. Kids have bad days just like adults.

But then there was this one from a former preschool teacher, or so she says.

Tara February 13, 2013 at 15:08 

As a former preschool teacher you are completely wrong. Unless there I a mental illness preventing your child from understanding direction there was NO child I could not stop from having inappropriate tantrums. Hundreds of children, not one problem. Sounds like you let your child run your life. Also your dismissive rude comments to the childfree are incredibly rude. I feel sorry for the future of humanity that you are contributing to.

Elle February 13, 2013 at 20:20 

Well, “your CF people” called me a shitty parent and my child a fucking brat AND a little shit. Just from a tiny post that shows a glimpse of my life. When that happens, my mama bear is coming out….not that you would know anything about that.

Every Gift Begins With Kay

Kay, such a crazy motherfucker, was pretty entertaining.

Kay February 14, 2013 at 19:49

It’s nice to know that all CF’ers do nothing more than jerk off and play video games. Thank you for reinforcing the stereotype of juvenile, proud-to-a-fault ‘I popped out a womb goblin’, so hear me roar mom.

We do remember that we were, at one point, children. That we too were shitheads as well. However, on countless occasions, recall my mother putting her foot down the second I acted up, not standing idly bye, waiting for the shitstorm to run its course.

Congratulations on reproducing, really, good for you if it makes you happy then by all means, squeeze out as many mewling cabbages as you can.

All the best,

Previous, mewling useless, drooling, screaming germ factory/money pit/mistake.

Elle February 14, 2013 at 20:16 

Your child free community has said the most vulgar, hateful things to me and about my family for the past few days JUST because I have a child. So you really think I’m going to be nice?!

Go fuck yourself. You can’t get a germ infested little shit that way.

And Kay just couldn’t stop there. Also, I never said she called my child a germ infested little shit. I was making fun of her choice of words when it came to children. I didn’t read her next comment before I responded to her but have since read it.

Kay February 15, 2013 at 09:11 

It actually makes me laugh, I refer to myself as once upon a time, being a ‘germ infested, little shithead’ and you instantly take it to heart that I called your offspring that. Control your hormones woman, I was under the impression that all mothers had thick skin. (the gods know mine does, I’m still blown away that she had me and wasted countless opportunities to pursue a career and a life that would have made her happy, one that she deserved and still deserves, for the sake of my brother and I. But I digress).

Secondly, the CF community, is not my community. I don’t ascribe to any ‘community’ really. Though I do share a handful of their views when it comes to children. Sadly, the well behaved, polite children I used to come across, seem to be a rare, if not extinct, species.

Third, I”m going to go out on a limb here and say that there’s been …crudely, negative opinions voiced because the majority are fed up with parents that refuse to remove their screaming children from the vicinity whilst their in the throes of a violent hissy fit. You smile and giggle about your childs screaming fits, coddling her when they take place, catering to her “game” as you called it. That’s what undoubtedly pushed the masses to critic and judge you so harshly. However. trust me, it’s not just you that the majority of CF’ers have an issue with. There is nothing more rage inciting than watching a parent, nonchalantly stroll around their flailing spawn, acting as if the behavior is completely acceptable. It’s not.

I always smile when someone tells me to ‘go fuck myself’. As if that were a bad thing = )

Thank you, brightened my morning.

Ummm, yeah, Kay really needs to get a life.

Elle February 15, 2013 at 12:20 

I didn’t read your comment but thanks for wasting your time typing it out.

So, what did I learn from this clusterfuck of crazies? Nothing really. But they sure were pretty fucking amusing.

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11 Responses to I’m a loser…. baby.

  1. thedavidcmurphy February 18, 2013 at 10:12 #

    This was horrible. I followed it as it unfolded, and pretty much felt hurt by it too.

    However, it made me think. We were in ihop yesterday morning, and my son yelled over something (we’d had a 30 minute wait and the poor kid was hungry). I immediately put a stop to it, but ultimately, he has every right to be there. People are sometimes to ready to be offended, or put out. At the end of the day he’s a good kid, as I’m sure your daughter is, but they’re still kids. And kids will behave like kids do sometimes.
    thedavidcmurphy recently posted..Hey Roomie!My Profile

    • Elle February 18, 2013 at 11:31 #

      I thank you so much for your help with these people. :) It’s like they think we’re dealing with some wild animal, not a human being.

      I know how my kid gets when she is hungry. For them it feels like a lifetime wait. Even I want to yell every now and then when I’m really hungry, hell even throw a tantrum.

      You can’t just keep a child quiet at all times so as not to bother everyone else. That seems to be what the trolls I had expected me to do.

      At least I can laugh at the ridiculousness of this whole thing now. ;)

  2. LeeAnne Curtis February 18, 2013 at 14:11 #

    Now this post brings back loads of memories – taking you out of Sav-on Drugs in LB, CA because you rolled on the floor, kicked your feet and screamed. Your Mom was horrified, so your Granddaddy took her and went shopping and I took you out to the curb, sat with you until you calmed down….driving to Springfield with you in the backseat with your Mom – Bless her she tried everything but tying you down to get you to quit kicking my seat..I finally pulled over, reached in the back and took you out of the car until you again, calmed down. The reason I tell you this is to explain – THE APPLE DIDN’T FALL TO FAR FROM THE TREE!! What is a temper tantrum between Mom and daughter? – just a power struggle and you will win in the end. It is in your genes!!!!!
    LeeAnne Curtis recently posted..Seersucker Caterpillar Dress or Jonjonsizes 1-4 by LeeannesCreationsMy Profile

  3. Lisa F. February 18, 2013 at 15:19 #

    Hi Elle, this is my first time to your blog (via The Bloggess) and the first blog post of yours I’ve read (and I haven’t read the one that sparked the response from the crazies). I spent most of my time distracted by the expression “Child Free Community.” Is this where you get free children? Is this the community where children run free? I riffed on that in my head for a while. Because apparently “Child Free” means “Child Hating”?

    I must be really naive, because I’m seriously puzzled by these people. And concerned that they are banding together as a community…. I do not have children, but I am an aunt to many and feel tremendous sympathy for you. By being a non-parent, I can step in and help mothers who are struggling with unhappy kids. I love holding babies on airplanes and giving their parents’ a break. So my reaction to these haters is: why aren’t you helping?

  4. monica February 18, 2013 at 15:47 #

    i read through your original post, elle and through the thread and i must say i am quite shocked. i try not to comment about things i have absolutely no experience with so i find it surprising and amusing that so many childless people are so knowledgable about what exactly to do with a two year old that is throwing a tantrum. it reminds me of a show i heard on NPR about a year ago (and i actually tried to google it just now to no avail) after all my kids were past the terrible twos (which i admit i did not handle as well as i could have had i had more knowledge – and that after being a first grade teacher for 14 years and a public school administrator AND having a masters in education). anyway – this man who was being interviewed had studied something like over 1000 tantrums and based on research found that the quickest way to make one subside and discourage the chance of reoccurence was to IGNORE it. yeah. ignore it. and that was based on research. did i do that with my kids? sometimes. not consistently. despite everything my education had taught me, i learned consistency with my own children was/is really difficult for me. it just taught me that as much as we think we know – we sometimes don’t know everything and sometimes what we know serves us no purpose in certain situations. i’ve had nothing teach me this as well as a two year old. which makes me think – until you’ve had to deal with your own two year old best to keep unkind comments to yourself.
    monica recently posted..I’d rather say “I love you” with clean undies, but that’s probably just me.My Profile

  5. Tricia February 18, 2013 at 18:17 #

    If you can’t appreciate the humor in life, things are going to be REALLY rough… And in a world where we condemn so many parents for ignoring/not caring about their children, you obviously pay enough attention to document the seemingly hopeless point in time.

    Every. Single. Parent. has had one of those moments. Even the parents of those who are so proud to decry their hatred of the tiny ones.

  6. Kim- one classy motha February 19, 2013 at 14:21 #

    Well that sucked! I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Really, many CF people don’t understand that when you’re dealing with a small irrational person (not a animal/pet) things aren’t always black & white. Plus, they also may not understand a mom’s need to vent through over-exaggeration (though sometimes it’s dead on).
    I would have been just as sensitive to the criticism as you…and just as angry.

  7. Naomi April 30, 2014 at 11:43 #

    I never understood the people who spanked their kid for having a tantrum. Some of those childless people seem to think that’s how you get rid of the tantrum. Yeah, hitting them is really gonna make them stop crying.

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