I’m clueless as to how to talk to her about religion, being gay, my side of the looney family tree, and every other freaking thing I thought I would figure out how to explain when it eventually came along but having no idea after all.
She absolutely LOVES the song Call Me Maybe and requests to watch the video on you tube. Sidenote: She’s also requesting Adele… I finally have a parenting win!! Screw you, Elmo!
If you haven’t seen already, at the end of the video for Call Me Maybe, the guy ends up giving his number to another guy in the video. The hummingbird asked why. I said because that boy likes other boys.
She didn’t understand so I said that boy doesn’t like girls, but boys, because he’s gay. I didn’t even think I would be opening up a whole other can of worms when I used the word gay.
I gave her the most simple answer I could think of. When you’re gay, boys like other boys and girls like other girls.
Like Madison?, she answered.
Me: No, Madison is your friend from preschool and while you’re best friends, you like her in a different way.
Me: Ummmm…. uhhhh… look, a squirrel!
Hummingbird…. They’re friends?
Me…. Yes, they’re friends but that also means they like the same sex… digging myself fucking deeper.
Hummingbird: Why does he like the other boy?
Me… When boys like other boys and girls like other girls, that means they are gay. It’s not a bad thing and you can choose whoever you want to love… when you’re 40 and I finally let you move out of the house and date.
Hummingbird: Gives me the “what the fuck, mommy?!” look.
Me:…. When boys like boys… (yes, that’s the ONLY thing I could think of and kept on repeating that, thinking it would help her to understand. Guess what? It didn’t… big fucking surprise).
Me: Because he was born that way….
Baby, I was born this way.
Ooh, there ain’t no other way.
Baby, I was born this way.
I’m on the right track, baby.
I was born this way.
Okay, maybe I only said that first part.
Anyway, I remember I asked my mom what gay meant when I was about 10 and we were watching Queen play live on the television. I kind of understood it but didn’t really. That makes total sense, right?
I know I was naive but in the parenting guide book that I have in my mind, I wasn’t even thinking or expecting to answer these kind of questions for a little while.
I don’t want to fuck it up.
I’ve always planned on teaching the hummingbird to have an open mind but I skipped the whole part on how to actually teach her that.
I’m at a loss at how to explain what it means to be gay to my soon to be 4 year-old.
Should I get out the sock puppets? Those are usually my solution for practically everything. Bad day, sore throat, an underwear wedgie, dismemberment? Sock puppets to the rescue!!
Okay, sock puppets aren’t always the answer.
Yes, yes they are.
Have you had “the talk” yet? Have any suggestions on how I can make it understandable to someone so young?