From the “I had no clue” parenting files. You will obsesses over your child’s poop for at least the first year. Then again when they’re potty training

This baby is making my uterus twitch. Nooo!

This baby is making my uterus twitch. Nooo!

Even with the parenting and birthing classes I took when I was pregnant with the hummingbird, what I wasn’t expecting was that my husband and I would become crazy about her poop. Yes… her poop.

How much, what color, the consistency, how many wipes it took, did she have a diaper blowout? We knew the dates of certain poops and even the times filed away in our heads.

Yes, shit took over our lives that first year in particular.

When we would be talking about it, sometimes I would think to myself, fuck, I’ve become “that” parent because I could give you hours of talking about my daughter’s poop.

I had no idea that shit would take over my life so much.

The poop talk died down a few years ago but now, since we’re still in potty training mode, the talk has come back with a vengeance.

I am simply amazed at how such a ginormous poop can come out of such a little girl.

As happy as I am that the hummingbird has been doing really good with potty training, the one thing that sucks is I have an extremely weak stomach. I am the dry heave master. Anything can set it off.

So when I hear MOMMY!!! Come wipe my booty!!”, I admit I cringe a little. For some reason, poopy diapers didn’t bother me as much as wiping the butt of my 3 year-old.

But I’ll take it over the endless amount of diapers that we’ve been through.

Btw, the hummingbird has been doing so good with potty training at school as well. No accidents there. She has had a few at home and seeing her face broke my heart. I could tell how embarrassed she was but I try to push it into her head that accidents are okay.

Now excuse me. I have a booty to go wipe. No, smartass, not mine.

Did poop take over your household when you had kids?

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8 Responses to From the “I had no clue” parenting files. You will obsesses over your child’s poop for at least the first year. Then again when they’re potty training

  1. Angie March 29, 2013 at 10:56 #

    Yes, poop has taken over my household as well. I also have no problem with diapers, but cringe when I have to wipe my 2 year old’s butt.
    Angie recently posted..One yearMy Profile

    • Elle March 30, 2013 at 14:45 #

      Oh yeah. I hear ya! xx

  2. Joy@BundlesOfJoy March 29, 2013 at 11:48 #

    My girls (3 and 4) are both potty trained, and still revel in their own poop:
    “Mama, come see my giant poopie!”
    “Mama! My poopie looks like a snail!”
    “Mama, my poopie’s extra-smeary. Can you come help me?”
    “Mama, my poopie’s too big and won’t go down the toilet.”

    But it’s definitely better than the diapers.
    Joy@BundlesOfJoy recently posted..What Not To Do When You Encounter A TantrumMy Profile

    • Elle March 30, 2013 at 14:47 #

      “Mama, my poopie’s too big and won’t go down the toilet.” Lol! That reminded me of something. My younger sister had ginormous poop and I remember several times when my mom would have to get out the toilet brush to break the poop into smaller pieces so it would actually flush. HAHA!

  3. Stephanie March 29, 2013 at 14:56 #

    When my son was born they handed us this packet, and inside was a poop chart. For two sleep-deprived weeks I had to keep track of how often he pooped and peed. If I was too tired to write it down my brain would obsessively try to remember the times of every poop and pee while I slept. I took that chart to his two week check-up and the doctor did. not. even. care. Seriously, didn’t even look at it! So when my daughter was born I chucked the packet in the hospital trashcan on our way out the door.

    My son took FOREVER to get potty trained. FOREVER!!! In his defense, we had to clear up some severe constipation and he’s still on Miralax two years later, but we’re weaning him off and he’s started sleeping in underwear at night. I am ecstatic! My daughter, who is two years younger, watched this never-ending process, then came up to me one day and said, “I don’t want to wear diapers any more.” And that was that. She was DONE. No diapers, no pull-ups, nothing. When she puts her mind to something, nothing will stop her.

  4. thedavidcmurphy March 30, 2013 at 08:50 #

    My Wife and I celebrated the other night, when my daughter pooped. She had been constipated, and we actually high fived.

    We’re also in the unique situation of buying the largest and smallest size of diaper in the store.
    thedavidcmurphy recently posted..Clowning AroundMy Profile

  5. Fran April 2, 2013 at 15:44 #

    Toddler poop in totally lacking in cuteness, I mean, they eat all the same stuff we do. So it really smells. Baby poop is different, it’s less smelly. They don’t seem to process food in their guts as easily as we do, so it comes out …less shitty?

    Side note : when I was preggers with #2, I went to change my first child’s diaper ( he was 2 yrs) and morning sickness hit hard and fast. I very nearly spewed all over my son. Which, to be fair, would have really just been Karma paying him back for all the times he spewed on us… Buy still, not really what you want to do right?

    After that I just held my breath whenever I had to deal with poop. At least until the morning sickness passed…

    Congrats on the potty training success!

  6. Naomi April 19, 2014 at 09:47 #

    Yes, poop rules the world. Can’t write as much because kiddo won’t leave me alone.

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