Whatever happened to a happy medium when raising our children?

bird-beachWhen I was pregnant with the hummingbird back in 2008, I had never come across “attatchment parenting, free-range parenting, or helicopter parenting”.

When my mom raised me, she was a tough but very loving parent. That’s all I knew and I admired and loved her for it. That’s what I wanted to be as a mom and I feel that I am that way now

Then I got into the world of blogging and my head swirled at all of these ways of parenting.

To be honest, it made me feel like a giant fucking loser that I wasn’t “the right” kind of mom. Whatever that is.

I let my daughter watch television during the day.

I sometimes bribe her with chocolate so I can take a shower.

Half the time when I read her a bedtime story, I’ll pass a few pages because I’m so freaking tired. She hasn’t caught on… yet.

I told myself I would never let her eat at McDonald’s and recently, her favorite meal is Chicken McNuggets. I cringe but since she eats very little, it makes me very happy to see her actually eat something.

I try my best to teach her manners, respect others, and be polite.

I don’t always succeed.

Sometimes we look though my US Weekly together and occasionally I’ll tell her mommy needs to watch one of her shows. Last week it was The Rachel Zoe Project. A girl needs to learn about fashion.

I don’t *always* love being around her every second of the day. By 3 pm (sometimes it can be 10 am), I usually start twitching because I need a little time to myself.

I drop f-bombs more often than I’d like to admit when I’m driving and she’s in the car. Example: “What’s the deal asshole? This isn’t a fucking parade!!”

And I’m totally fine by my happy medium parenting, the faults I have with my parenting, and all of the trials and errors. I don’t strive to be a perfect mom because it doesn’t exist.

I know I’m doing something right because I have a very bright and loving child. I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter.

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14 Responses to Whatever happened to a happy medium when raising our children?

  1. Christa the BabbyMama April 1, 2013 at 13:05 #

    This is why I don’t read parenting manuals or go too deep into the Internet! I’m doing my best, letting my kids guide me, and I love them lots. These are the most important things.
    Christa the BabbyMama recently posted..Easter 2013, in PicturesMy Profile

  2. thedavidcmurphy April 1, 2013 at 16:01 #

    It’s unbelievable how much of this applies to my wife and my raising of our son.

    I’m half tempted to quit on him and start again with my daughter. Just now as I was reading your blog, he wrote on my pants with pink chalk :-\
    thedavidcmurphy recently posted..Clowning AroundMy Profile

  3. monica April 1, 2013 at 18:12 #

    i’m so happy i read this today. i needed a reminder. doing the best we can do! xoxo
    monica recently posted..Top 10 Ways I Am Nicer Than A SubstituteMy Profile

    • Elle April 1, 2013 at 21:38 #

      Even on the days I think I’m doing a crappy job, I still tell myself I did the best I could under the conditions. 🙂

  4. Nicole April 1, 2013 at 18:28 #

    This is one of the reasons why I steered clear of Mother’s Groups and indeed many online forums and blogs. I know for fact I am not perfect, and I can’t stand feeling like I’m somehow hurting my son because my entire identity doesn’t revolve around pleasing him. Damn straight I’ll let him watch TV during the day if it means I can actually sit down and do some writing and have my lunch in peace! As far as I can tell (And school has my back on this one) he’s a pretty decent kid so far. Excellent, I haven’t scarred him for life…yet.

    Thank you for reminding me that it’s okay to be normal.
    Nicole recently posted..Mother Mode: It’s Okay To Be VainMy Profile

    • Elle April 1, 2013 at 21:39 #

      Thanks *you*, Nicole. 🙂

  5. Joy@BundlesOfJoy April 1, 2013 at 20:15 #

    I love reading parenting books and online mom forums to decide what NOT to do!
    When I read some of the craziness out there, I instantly feel more “normal” and feel like I’m doing an ok job.
    My third child is due in August, and I figure that the first two were my trial runs. But there aren’t too many things I think I’ll do differently with the third. Even after 5 years of reading books and online forums…
    Joy@BundlesOfJoy recently posted..What Not To Do When You Encounter A TantrumMy Profile

    • Elle April 1, 2013 at 21:43 #

      I remember thinking there were things I would do a certain way, and I ended up doing a 180. 🙂 I only plan on having one child so this is my only run through. But ya know what… I probably just jinxed myself by saying one child. 😉

      • Erin Ahrens April 2, 2013 at 03:20 #

        I learned that having two migits frees you up. They play with each other. I love to play with my migits- in moderation. Like, after you have played Candy Land once, you pretty much feel complete. The migits can play that repeatedly. I can grab a drink and watch them and feel complete.

  6. Erin Ahrens April 2, 2013 at 03:17 #

    One time, while discussing how amazing a veggie eater my son is, and how not great my daughter is at it, I mentioned how dessert bribes saved my life for her. She looked straight at me and said, “Oh, you are one of those parents.” UH, yeah. I care that my children have a healthy diet, and that they learn to eat sweets in moderation. If that is what she meant by that. FYI Last night was a hot dog. Gasp. With salad and fresh pineapple. At least it was a Nathan’s hot dog. Doing what I can peeps! Each Friday night is pizza night. Do the food police need to come and lock me up yet?

  7. Angie April 2, 2013 at 08:54 #

    Your parenting sounds like mine! I think we are both doing the best job we can do. My daughter watches tv, I bribe her, and she loves chicken nuggets with fries (although I blame moving for her learning what fast food is.) I think some people have too much time on their hands. The people who judge me for my parenting need to worry about their own life. My kid is healthy, she is happy, and she is smart.
    Angie recently posted..Life happensMy Profile

    • Elle April 3, 2013 at 08:58 #

      It seems like I had her eating a pretty healthy diet and then she started preschool. That’s when she learned about crusts from her sandwich being yucky (she LOVED them before that), lunchables, and all the other food she wasn’t getting before.

      I don’t have too many complaints about it though since she’s actually eating a little more than she used to. 😉

  8. Fran April 2, 2013 at 15:34 #

    Amen, sister, AMEN!!

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