I had an amazing opportunity to visit a film set this past August and interview the writer. After the initial excitement of going went away, I thought there was no way I could do it.
What if I’m not good enough? What if I look like a total idiot? What if I freeze up? So many what ifs.
I went, had an absolutely fabulous time, and didn’t look like too much of an idiot. We’ll maybe a tad after I had a little too much wine with dinner.
I’m still in awe that I also got to meet that total hottie, Josh Duhamel.
Going through that this past summer made me aware of just how hard I am on myself. It really showed me how little I think of myself and how sad that is.
I’ve had great opportunities pass me by over the years because while I want to be successful, in life and work, I’m afraid of standing out. So, I sabatoge myself into thinking I’m not good enough or I don’t deserve it.
My confidence is like a fart. Big and loud in my head, small and squeaky when it comes out. Then I’ll think “Really? That’s all I’ve got?!”
My mind belts out I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR, but when the time comes to take any action, I close up and disappear into my negative thoughts.
I need to stop being my own worst enemy.
I need to stop this self-sabotage bullshit and realize that I have some great things to offer.
I know the what ifs will always be bouncing around in my head but I’m hoping that soon they’ll diminish, from a loud rocket to a soft whisper.