Before I had the hummingbird, I said no to having Hello Kitty and Princesses in the house. After, the house is covered in that shit.

bird-duckWhen I was pregnant with the hummingbird, I was so anti-princess and didn’t care for Hello Kitty. I had a few reasons but the main one was whenever I thought of a princess or HK invading our house, I envisioned my unborn daughter one step closer to being a Paris Hilton clone.


I don’t get me either.

I tried to avoid lots of pink and had a pretty neutral baby room.

Things were going good when low and behold, I spotted pink pants covered with a frilly bottom.

That’s when “the change” happened for me.

Damn it.

I was buying pink clothes left and right.

When she was about 2, we let her help with picking out outfits for the day.

No matter how goofy, I love toddler fashion.

For awhile now, the hummingbird has been dressing herself before my eyes are even open in the morning. I think I’ve only made her change her clothes twice.

And that’s because she had shorts on in the winter.

When I heard other moms wish death on Dora the Explorer, I felt lucky that the hummingbird hadn’t discovered her, especially since that little shit Caillou and Max And Ruby are awful enough.

Then she started preschool last year and got on the Dora train…. along with Hello Kitty.

Although Dora still makes me stabby, I caved a few days ago and bought the hummingbird some cheap Dora “it will be a miracle if they last longer than a week” shoes, something I said I would never do.

It also looks like Hello Kitty barfed up a giant merchandise fur ball in our house.

What’s my point? I’m not really sure. I do know that before you have kids, it’s so easy to say “I won’t let my kid act a certain way” or “I’m never letting my daughter have any Dora clothes because then she’ll do that awkward stare at me and I’ll be like What Dora?? What?! What the fuck do you want me to say to you??!”


But once you have kids and they look up at you with their sweet little face and say “Pwease, mommy, pwease.” you’re screwed.

The things I said I would never do when I became a parent are what I end up doing now.

One thing that I will always stand by, no matter what, is that she has to wait until she’s 40 before she starts dating.

Yeah, I know. Good luck with that!

*Toni Basil – Mickey

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5 Responses to Before I had the hummingbird, I said no to having Hello Kitty and Princesses in the house. After, the house is covered in that shit.

  1. Angie May 7, 2013 at 17:44 #

    I swore my daughter would never want frilly stuff, and wouldn’t have a ton of pink. Thanks to others she has a lot of pink, and it is her favorite color. She also has to wear a tutu or a dress so she can twirl to music. I am very grateful that she hasn’t discovered Dora. Dora bugs me.
    Angie recently posted..It’s been awhileMy Profile

  2. Jen May 7, 2013 at 20:31 #

    Honestly, now when I hear a non-parent say “My kids will never …” or “I’ll never do … when I’m a parent” I struggle not to laugh out loud. Not in a mean way but just in a ‘I used to say those things and oh my good god, has parenting ever humbled me.’ ; )
    Jen recently posted..Reflections on a Union – May 1, 2013My Profile

  3. Tabitha Crow May 8, 2013 at 08:09 #

    Well, shit. Thanks-a-freaking-lot. I, too, abhor Caillou so, naturally, I clicked your link to the Gilbert-Kills-Baldy strip. Now, thanks to the title, I can’t quit singing Caillou’s theme song. My daughter, being a very mature 6 years old now, hasn’t subjected me to His Whinyness in about 2 years. I thought I had rid myself of that shit!! So, my point is, this post is hilarious and totally true but you really should have a disclaimer somewhere in there that warns poor, unsuspecting folks (like me) that clicking links could be damaging to your sanity.

    P.S. That strip was freaking FUNNY!

  4. from Novels to Board Books May 9, 2013 at 09:41 #

    You made me laugh, as always. I loved the line, “It also looks like Hello Kitty barfed up a giant merchandise fur ball in our house.”

    Right now, I’m glad I have a boy 😉
    from Novels to Board Books recently posted..The Hat Makes the WomanMy Profile

  5. Nicole May 9, 2013 at 16:57 #

    Oh gawd, I am so glad my son is well past Dora now. It just irrationally angers me with how long the pauses are between questions, and that look she gives you! Bah.

    With Liam, I tried really hard not to have him grow up being one of this kids that’s all, “Ew, that’s a girlllllllls thing”. Yeah, that failed pretty hard. If I have a girl next, I might cram as much princess crap onto her as I can and hope that it’s some kind of reverse psychology thing 😛
    Nicole recently posted..The 10/10 Project: Day Five – NeverwinterMy Profile

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