This guest post comes from Monica who blogs at A Day In The Life. Also check out Top 10 Ways I Am Nicer Than A Substitute and How To Survive The Second To The Last Month Of School.
1. Allow your pessimistic nature to completely overshadow any vestige of optimism about the future of your middle schooler that you could have managed.
2. Read and listen to any article or news program about the prevalence of bullying in middle school in all countries of the world and possibly the moon and other universes.
3. Second guess every decision you have ever made with said child all the way back to the decision for no epidural….and possibly your choice of a father (just kidding, hubby….that was only after I had exhausted all other things to worry about….oh, and after a few beverages).
4. Encourage and then finally nag your hubby until he is forced to have “the talk” with your soon-to-be-middle-school boy so that hubby is so nervous that his awkward conversation about growing up elicits a look from your son that looks something like this:
and you are still not exactly sure if your son knows How Babies Are Born.
5. Question the years you have invested in piano lessons. Should you have opted for krav maga lessons instead?
6. Begin to treat your soon-to-be-middle-schooler like a two year old and attempt to do things that he hasn’t let you do in years: tuck him in, read him books, kiss his cheek.
7. And, in a reverse of opinion to #6 worry obsessively about all the things he still doesn’t know and attempt to teach him a little about all these things in the few short weeks left of fifth grade. (How to cook, How to launder, How to make a bed properly, How to treat girls, How to find a wife, How to drive, How to say no to drugs, How to do karate, etc.) (And, by the way, this will again elicit The Look pictured in #4.)
8. Write about all your fears on the Internet so that good friends, loyal readers, and random strangers can console you and tell you everything will be just fine. (Except if it isn’t.)