18 things to say to your kids before they’re 18.

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*If you have a writing prompt suggestion, please leave it in the comments or email me at elle dot mommyhood at gmail dot com.

This writing prompt is from Alyssa who blogs at The Wild, Weird World Of Us and it’s 18 things to say to your kids before they hit 18.

1. Please, PLEASE sleep.

2. You’re on mommy’s PMS cycle, aren’t you?

3. Why? Because. Why? Because. Why? Because. Why? ….

4.  We need to get you to preschool. Get your shoes on, please. Did you change outfits again? Well, get your shoes on. Repeat 10 times. Get your jacket. No, you don’t need to start changing clothes again. Get your jacket on. Repeat 5 times. Where’s your other shoe? Get that shoe on. Repeat 10 times. Okay, let’s get going. Repeat 5 times. Sorry, it’s too late to braid your hair. Hey, where did your jacket go? You just had it on.

5. Mommy will be right back. Twitch. Twitch. She needs to go to the kitchen and get a glass of “mommy juice”.

6.  Me: *cries* How did my baby get to be 4? Her: Silly mommy, I’m not a baby. Me: *sobs uncontrollably*

7. *Once they start school.* Why do I have more homework to do now that I’m out of school than I did when I was in school?

8. No, you can’t have a cell phone. You’re way too young.

9. *After incessant begging.* Fine, you can have a phone. But only for emergencies.

10. Will you get off the phone already?!

11. Go to your room! Just don’t use your computer, television, phone, iPod, kindle, gaming chair…. oh, nevermind! Go sit in the hall closet.

12. Don’t make me pull this car over!

13. Turn that music down!

14. Back in my day, they had “real” music.

15. Ask your father.

16. Sit your child down for the “big” talk. Have a serious and lengthy conversation about why Carrie should have chosen Aidan over Mr. Big. Use graphs, charts, and you tube videos if necessary.

17. If you’re going over to your friend’s house, I want the parent’s names, home address, social security numbers, car make and model, and their blood type. Oh yeah, and 3 references.

18. Why, yes! Of course I waited until I was 18 to have sex. Definitely. Ahem.

What would you add to the list?

*Guns N’ Roses

**Post… Guns N’ Roses and my peanut butter covered autograph. Sounds way more kinky than it is.

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3 Responses to 18 things to say to your kids before they’re 18.

  1. monica May 14, 2013 at 18:52 #

    love the list!
    monica recently posted..How to Approach Your “Baby” Going to Middle School With Sanity and ClarityMy Profile

  2. Sherri May 15, 2013 at 10:02 #

    When my niece or nephew cry or use a whine voice I tell them, “Stop using ugly voice and then I can hear you.”

  3. Marie May 15, 2013 at 17:56 #

    Why didnt Carrie choose Aiden? Stupid Sex in the city. stupid Carrie and her wierdo hair and her weirdo clothes that she is confident enough to pull off. DO a post only on stupid sex in the city stuff!! So fun. I will help 🙂 Aiden was too perfect.

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