And then this guy turns into a vampire and I thought, this definitely isn’t the same Lincoln with Daniel Day-Lewis. Or maybe it is and Abraham Lincoln was a bad ass vampire slayer back in the day.

Abraham Lincoln... Vampire Slayer?

President Abraham Lincoln… Vampire Slayer?

I know I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed. It became much worse since I had the hummingbird.

My main focus is on the hummingbird and when it comes to everything else, I’ll be “Huh? What? I’m sorry? You what? What did you say? Ummm…what? Huh?” and it will just be over something like my husband asking if I’d like tacos for dinner.

First off, if tacos are the question, the answer is ALWAYS yes. Secondly, now I want tacos.

Okay, focus.

So, the other night I decided to watch Lincoln.

I had taken an ambien and 2 hours later I was still wide awake and a little loopy from it but got out of bed because I was restless. I looked through the guide channel on the television and bought the movie for 3.99.

I swear it was the Daniel Day-Lewis version. I still have that version on my DVR and sure enough it shows DDL being in it.

Well, DirecTV must have been sniffing gas fumes because it wasn’t the right Lincoln. But it took my genius ass a while to figure that out.

As soon as I started playing the movie and got cozy on the couch, I was drifting off to sleep every now and again but was too tired to go back upstairs. Especially since by the time I would make it upstairs to the bedroom, I’d be wide awake.

While watching the movie, I was getting impatient and thinking where the hell is Daniel Day-Lewis?? I knew something was off with the movie from the beginning  but thought maybe he’ll show up in the later years.

I was drifting off again and the guy playing Lincoln is hunting down somebody. The bad guy confronts Lincoln by turning into a vampire with massive fucked up teeth and comes flying at Lincoln.

What. The. Fuck?

No, this is NOT the movie with Daniel Day-Lewis.

Duh!

I said screw this and went on the computer to “window shop” on Amazon.

If you’ve ever taken ambien before, you know that’s a bad idea. Because a few days later you’ll get packages and think to yourself, I didn’t order anythin….

Ahhhhh….. it was the ambien Amazon shopping.

Certain that I successfully went on Amazon and didn’t buy anything, I finally decided to try to go back to bed. I’m pretty sure I was asleep within a minute of my head hitting the pillow.

The next day, I found the right Lincoln and finally got to see Daniel Day-Lewis, without the vampires.

By the way, a few days later, two packages from Amazon came in the mail.

D’oh!

*PJ Harvey- A Perfect Day Elise

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