My 4 year-old teenager.

Angelic little me acting like a teenager? Nah.

Angelic little me acting like a teenager? Nah.

My daughter is rocking  what I’ve dubbed the “fuck you” 4’s.

When the hummingbird turned 4, I wasn’t expecting her to be 4 going on 14.

Damn, it’s like I’m getting a preview of her teen years.

I think this age is bittersweet. While the upside is she understands more and can communicate her feelings better, the downside is that she understands more, knows how to manipulate,  and can communicate her feelings better.

When she gets into one of her moody moods, she usually responds with HMPH!! to everything I tell her to do. Her HMPH basically equals a big “fuck you, mom”.

That’s how I translate it anyway.

She has an opposing opinion about every single thing (thanks to my genes) we tell her to do and has become so hard-headed. Yes, it’s made me more mental than normal.

She’s like a mini-teenager including slamming of doors when she’s annoyed, followed by yelling… You’re Not My Friend ANYMORE!!


I find her being 4 harder than when she was 3 or even 2. It’s especially frustrating because I know this A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E she’s been having lately isn’t really her true personality. She’s just doing what kids do best. Testing the limits and pushing buttons to see just how much she can get away with. Finding the boundaries.

I’m still more of a disciplinarian than my husband so I get to be the bad guy. Boooo!

The hummingbird will go from a sweet, well-behaved little girl to a 4 year-old teenager in a matter of 1.2 seconds and I’m left thinking what the fuck just happened?

It’s like my girl is getting notes from possessed Linda Blair on how to behave.

There is an upside though. Now that she’s getting older, I feel closer to her than ever before, even when I consider sending her to live with a pack of wolves.

I love having actual conversations with her, something that I’ve been looking forward to for years. I’m seeing her interest in music develop, among other things… boys included… oh shit, I’m screwed there.

So, the 4’s will no doubt keep you on your toes and at times, may make you want to pull your hair out.

Expect to add to your liquor cabinet because you’ll need it.

Does your young child act like a teen already? Have you sent them away to live with a pack of wolves yet?

*A Perfect Circle ~ Judith

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9 Responses to My 4 year-old teenager.

  1. Erin June 12, 2013 at 09:59 #

    Short time reader, but I just had to comment on this one.

    Boy Wonder (TM) turned 4 in January so he’s pretty much in the same boat. This morning he told me he didn’t have to get up because he was the boss and that if I didn’t stop telling him to get up I was going in time out. And that was pretty tame for him, I think he’s not on his game because he got sick over the weekend and is still sniffly.

    And when he’s especially bad, we threaten him with the typical Midwestern threat of sending him to the gypsies. Sending him to the wolves isn’t a threat since we live pretty much in the middle of nowhere N MN, but those wily gypsies… My mom used to do the same thing too.

    Here’s wishing us both good luck in surviving the time until the go to school!

  2. pamela June 12, 2013 at 11:15 #

    Oh God how I am not gonna moss these days when they are over. My daughter “Moo” will be 5 the first week of August. And to add to the fuck you 4’s “tude”, is a red haired 1/2 German blooded I’m way to smart for this preschool shit girl. Oh how I love her but holy hell I keep feeling the urge to apologize to my mother. LMAO

    Now, being that we live in northeast Ohio and we don’t have wolves (except at the zoo and they’re pretty tame) and our Gypsy population is extremely low, I threaten my daughter and my 7yr old son, with putting them at the curb for the garbage men to pick up. When they told me that they only come once a week I told them that they make special pick ups for kids like them. Bwahahahahahahaha!!! Usually gets them moving.

    All I can say at this point is that late August and the start of the school year possibly cannot come soon enough for me!

  3. Kitty June 12, 2013 at 13:29 #

    Just finished reading your blog and I love it, your sense of humor is awesome and a ton of fun to read. Your daughter is absolutely adorable and is making my want for a baby much worse. You make me feel so glad to have the in-laws I do. (my honey got the short straw there).

    I’m not a mom but spend a ton of time with my friends (almost) 5 year old. For him we breathed a sigh of relief when he hit 4, he was finally able to understand a lot more and his behavior got a lot better. Being able to explain what he wanted finally made things easier on everyone. Though he was a very late talker so maybe the next year will be his stubborn year. Or maybe his folks are getting off easy, his sister was an absolute manipulative terror at that age!
    Kitty recently posted..The Skull Shawl pt. 4My Profile

  4. Angie June 12, 2013 at 16:52 #

    Some days I feel like I have a devil child. She is so stubborn! Recently she has started saying that she doesn’t like me when I punish her. I guess that means I am doing something right.
    Angie recently posted..6 months!My Profile

  5. Kristen June 13, 2013 at 05:19 #

    3s and 4s are really a dry-run for the teenage years. It’s true.

    Not only did I experience that with Thing 1, Thing 2, and the Evil Genius, but I spent seventeen friggin’ years working with toddlers and preschoolers, then another ten working with the folks who work with them. So, I know a thing or two about it.

    My favorite is when they correct you. “It doesn’t go that way.” “You’re supposed to do it this way.” “You put the lime in AFTER you stir the drink.”

    I never threatened to send my own kids to live with wolves. I’d say, “Stop [offending behavior here] now or I will kill you and bury you in the backyard.” And yet strangers still paid me good money to take care of their kids and their kids’ caregivers. Hmph.
    Kristen recently posted..The Official Summer of Awesomeness To Do List updateMy Profile

  6. Tabitha Crow June 13, 2013 at 06:22 #

    You could have been posting on the goings on at my house. Except at my house the kid is 6 going on 16. She, too, is opinionated and moody. Slamming doors are nothing new. What IS new is that, now she can write, she puts up signs on said door that say “KEEP OUT” or “MOM IS BANISHD FRUM MY ROOM”. So, yeah. Buck up, Buttercup. The ride only gets bumpier. On the upside, I never thought about the pack of wolves. I *may* have mildly suggested she be sold to the zoo or the circus, though.
    Tabitha Crow recently posted..Fever DreamsMy Profile

  7. Laura June 25, 2013 at 08:43 #

    Yes. So very yes. I have a five year old daughter going on fifteen and let me tell you, it is one thing after another! She is currently going through an “I want to look like Barbie…” phase, which includes stuffing her shirt with “boobies”. She also has this habit of rolling her eyes and saying, “Okaaaaaaay!” And then proceeds to explain to me that when she is the boss she is going to do whatever she wants so she doesn’t have to listen to me. She stops her feet and yells “You don’t understand!” and even asked when she can get a cell phone so she can “chat with her gal pals”. (WHAT?!) I would say that she is being exposed to too many mature themes on t.v….but alas, her most mature show she watches is Littlest Pet Shop or My Little Ponies.

    My three year old son, on the other hand, is perfectly content with being a baby…we’ll see how long that lasts….

    Also, threatening the pack of wolves is BRILLIANT. I usually threaten to send them off to the gypsies…until my daughter asked what they were and I explained them…then she was more than willing to go live with people who “camp” and ride ponies. *sigh* Now I just say, “If you want to live….”

    Wishing all us moms of toddler teenagers good luck!!!!
    Laura recently posted..Tasty…My Profile

  8. Neeroc June 26, 2013 at 18:09 #

    I hate to be that guy, but I have a five year old, and I find myself longing for the 2s, 3s, even 4s. I’m waaaaay too old for this now, I can’t imagine her as a teen *G*
    Neeroc recently posted..Friday Videos #32 – Be awesomeMy Profile

  9. Naomi April 8, 2014 at 07:49 #

    My little three year old just started this. She goes back and forth from two year old tantrums to thirteen year old tantrums. I thought she was just finally hitting her terrible twos; it’s nice to see that it’s normal behavior.

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