The in-laws will be here in October. Who has a safe house I can stay at?

fuck this shit1

I found out the other night that I get another special visit from my-laws. HOLD ME!

My MIL is the supreme queen bitch. Always giving me shit for my parenting skills and she seems stuck in the 1950’s because she also gives me shit about the kind of wife I am.

She’s never thought I’ve been good enough and she never will so fuck it, right? Still, she stresses me out like crazy when she visits and I’ll eventually go hide in a room upstairs while they’re here because she just loves throwing shit my way.

Last night the hummingbird heard a few kids across the street from us playing outside. She asked if she could go over to play with them. My husband told her that it’s not polite but rude to go over to someone else’s house unless they invite you first.

Later, my bitch came out and I asked my hubby “So, if your parents invited themselves to visit in October, does that mean your parents are rude?” Yes, I have bitch moments and I’m also pmsing like a mofo.

But I also thought it was interesting that my hubby explained to our daughter what it means to be polite and his parent are ALWAYS inviting themselves to visit and are pretty damn pushy in the process.

Of course I get that they’re his parents and he’s going to defend them but I thought his response to my question was classic.

My husband said “No, they didn’t invite themselves. They just invited us to entertain the idea of them visiting in October”. He was being serious.


Okay, then.

What makes this upcoming visit with them even worse is that our new house is big enough for them to stay with us. Usually I insist to my husband that they stay in a hotel but there aren’t any close enough to our house. Noooooo!

I’m not sure how long they’ll be staying yet but whether it’s 2 days or a week, my monthly Xanax supply will be taking a big hit.

*Four Kicks

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11 Responses to The in-laws will be here in October. Who has a safe house I can stay at?

  1. Sarah August 27, 2013 at 13:44 #

    We’re 45 minutes away and I have Tequila in the freezer! And in Maine you would be fully welcome to have your kid just walk on over and say hi! That’s what our neighbors did to us and we’re great friends now. This place is friendlier than anywhere I’ve ever lived.
    Sarah recently posted..Still FishinMy Profile

    • Elle September 7, 2013 at 00:04 #

      Sounds very tempting! Thanks, girl. x

  2. C.J. August 27, 2013 at 22:35 #

    Thrilled that my MIL doesn’t speak English. I’m not required to have conversations and don’t understand much of what’s being said other than a word here and there. Women definitely have it much worse than men though when it comes to in-laws. Here’s to being born with a penis.
    C.J. recently posted..I’m One Dirty MoFo (Apparently)My Profile

  3. gene August 28, 2013 at 12:51 #

    I’m 6 hours away but I’ll come take you away.

    • Elle September 7, 2013 at 00:07 #

      Very tempting. Gene. 😉

  4. LeeAnne Curtis August 28, 2013 at 19:31 #

    My 97 year old MIL lives with us – brace yourself!! LOL – didn’t like that family all those years ago and the more they visit with you, stressing you out, makes me want to bitch slap her! OM Goodness – did I say that out loud??!? Sorry…I will start praying now for a localized disaster in Texas so they can’t leave!
    LeeAnne Curtis recently posted..Halloween Bibs by LeeannesCreationsMy Profile

  5. Kristen August 30, 2013 at 09:05 #

    Yep, my MIL is FOREIGN AND lives on MY STREET. I used to not ever go in my yard with the kids because if she drove by, a wave doesn’t suffice, she has to stop her car, running, in the middle of the road. No privacy. Last week I snuck out sans bra to grab a garbage can and saw her car approaching down the road, I had to HIDE in my garage while she idled in front of my house trying to figure out where I went! LOL

    I totally gotcha. Just remember, as I try to, that someday you will be a mother-in-law too.

  6. Rachel Campbell June 13, 2017 at 21:48 #

    I could write a 11 years worth of books about my (ex) mother in law from hell. It has only gotten worse since her son and I divorced (despite the fact that we get along super well and make great co-parents). She lives like 10 min away so imagine how my Xanax supply is doing….

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