The loss.

I would like to thank everyone for your kind and thoughtful words after my miscarriage. It’s been tough. I see pregnant women and my heart still aches.

I miss the lil’ peanut so much that I can’t even put it into words.

I’ll be honest. While I’m excited to try again for a little one, I’m also terrified. I really don’t think I can deal with another loss.

I miss the baby so much. I miss being pregnant. I miss planning the future with another child. I miss the fluttering I was feeling when I was pregnant.

I miss the child that will never be.

*Copy Of A

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14 Responses to The loss.

  1. siggiofmaine September 7, 2013 at 01:55 #

    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Having been in your shoes, I can tell you, if you are like me,
    you will always wonder, “what If”, but you will have the strength
    to love another baby. Know that I care and wish you peace
    of heart and soul.

    siggiofmaine recently posted..Haiku Heights #279 ~ September Heights Day 06 ~ TeacherMy Profile

    • Elle September 7, 2013 at 14:15 #

      Thank you so much, Siggi. xx

  2. Erin Ahrens September 7, 2013 at 05:37 #

    I hope you find healing. I am so sorry. You have truly been through so much in the past few months. Hopefully, this move, the movers didn’t find and penile shaped objects. I read your blog religiously. It is the only one I follow, regularly. Your daughter is fun to watch grow up. Almost five? Five seemed so old when I got there with my migits. Ten is scaring the heck out of me. That will be too close to teenage years for my level of comfort. I have some time with an almost seven and eight year old. Those early years dragged on for me, but since five, things are moving faster than I would like. Hopefully, you will be able to slow the hands of time with a successful pregnancy, when you are ready. Thinking good thoughts ;o) EA

    • Elle September 7, 2013 at 14:19 #

      Haha, Erin! I actually hid the sex toys this time around. I can’t thank you enough for reading my ramblings.

      7 and 8 yo. Wow, you need a vacay. :I bow down to you. 🙂 x
      Elle recently posted..The loss.My Profile

  3. Christa September 7, 2013 at 09:59 #

    I wrote a post called MIscarriage Means Losing an Imagined Future because it really is like that. You can see it, feel it – it’s real. And then poof, it’s like what the next 18 years would have been is gone. SO hard.
    Christa recently posted..A Play By Play of Bo’s Lingual Frenectomy aka Tongue Tie SurgeryMy Profile

    • Elle September 7, 2013 at 14:22 #

      Hi Christa! I feel like the loss isn’t weighing on my mind as much after a few months. I mean it is but I’m starting to feel more normal again, whatever the hell normal is. 😉

      I’m really dreading when I was due… feb 28th 2014.That’s going to be rough.
      Elle recently posted..The loss.My Profile

  4. Anja September 7, 2013 at 14:02 #

    With time comes healing. The loss will always be there but you will heal. 🙂 I don’t know why these things happen, but keep moving forward. Time goes by so fast and your sweet hummingbird will be blossoming into a beautiful woman. Cherish the time now….I wish I could go back and re-live those younger years now that mine are almost out of my home.
    Anja recently posted..Weekly Photo Challenge: An Unusual POVMy Profile

    • Elle September 7, 2013 at 14:23 #

      Thank you, Anja. Very wise words!

      Much love to you!

  5. monica September 7, 2013 at 14:32 #

    aw! so painful. had a miscarriage between 3 and 4 and I, too, was scared of trying again. my prayers go out to you. many blessings to you and I hope that the future holds greatness. xoxo
    monica recently posted..A. None of the above. B. All of the above. C. What is the above. D. The teacher is crazy.My Profile

    • Elle September 7, 2013 at 21:40 #

      Thank you, Monica. I’m so sorry that you experienced the loss of a baby. Much love… xx

  6. Poppy September 8, 2013 at 21:15 #

    Much, much love.
    Poppy recently posted..kickstartMy Profile

    • Elle September 9, 2013 at 10:30 #

      Thank you. Poppy. xoxo

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