On Thursday, we FINALLY went to hear the baby bird’s heartbeat for the first time. I thought I would chill the fuck out by now and not worry so much about having another miscarriage but yay, I’m a worrier and think the worst.
When Dr. Catchthebaby got out the doppler and started moving it out, we only heard my heartbeat. It was probably only a few minutes that she was looking for the bird’s heartbeat but everything started slowing down and my heart started to race.
She still couldn’t find the heartbeat and I was a mess. Dr. Catchthebaby told me she’s not worried at all but I guess the look on my face spoke volumes. She sent me downstair to have an ultrasound and the 30 minutes of waiting was awful. I tried to keep it together but broke out into the worst ugly cry ever. I usually dig that cry out at the end of Beaches or La Bamba…. NO… NOT RICHIE… NOOOO!
I was taken back to get it done and that’s when I saw the baby bird’s heartbeat flickering on the screen. Then I heard the incredible heartbeat.
After that, I felt like the biggest idiot for my ugly cry scene in the waiting room but oh well.
All is well with the baby bird but I don’t think the worry will go away with this pregnancy. At the same time, I’m a little more relaxed than I was with the hummingbird, if that makes any sense.
I think it’s that I’m more relaxed and feel calmer at the thought of after this baby bird pops into the world. The first baby is scary as hell.
Here’s the baby bird last month…
and here’s a few days ago…
He/she has gotten so big and I’m feeling very pregnant already.
I’ve been looking in all our sroed boxes for my maternity clothes and nada. After all of these moves, the maternity clothes are gone. We’ve looked and looked and looked… nothing. Booo!
I was hoping to find my maternity coat that cost more than I’ve ever spent on a winter coat but since that didn’t happen… SHOPPING!
My in-laws will be here in a matter of days and this is nothing new but I’m really not in the mood to deal with their shit. They’ll be here a whole week. OMG! I just… I … ugh.
I’m going to miss the wine so, so much this holiday.
*The incredible, amazing, spectacular, eargasmic Andrew Bird.