Dearest nipples…

Dearest nipples,

Hey, what’s going on? I know we don’t talk much but you’ve recently come to my attention. Pre-pregnancy, you used to be like this:

headlights1

Now that I’m growing a baby bird, you’re all up in everyone’s face, like this:

headlights2

WHOAH, nipples!

You’ve gotten huge.

I’m pretty sure all in central Maine can see you coming from a mile away. You’ve probably been spotted in Boston as well.

No matter what I do to cover you up, you’re all like HELL NO  and poke out to say hello. Yikes!

I already have enough weird shit going on with my body, so chillax and calm the hell down.

*Twenty One Pilots – House Of Gold

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

, , , , ,

6 Responses to Dearest nipples…

  1. monica January 26, 2014 at 15:15 #

    and don’t forget breast feeding. jesus h. Christ. it’s like nipples turn into actual limbs on the body.
    monica recently posted..Will this still be okay when it’s not my birthday?My Profile

  2. Robin January 27, 2014 at 07:32 #

    During my last pregnancy, they put me through this contraction stress test every week starting at 32 weeks. When they told me they were going to do it, I quickly googled to see what it was. It was described as the rubbing of nipples to create a contraction pattern. WHAT?!!! Turns out they give you oxytocin through an iv. Whew, that was a relief. All I can say is Dr. Google is a real jerk and don’t ask him questions about your nipples. Perv.
    Robin recently posted..Hello, my name is Robin and I am a motherMy Profile

  3. Rhonda January 27, 2014 at 13:08 #

    The nipples and the saggy boobs. Having kids totally takes its toll on the body!
    Rhonda recently posted..Is Being Liberal Really a Bad Thing?My Profile

  4. Tess @ Tips on Life and Love January 27, 2014 at 17:16 #

    Haha, I love how you’re able to maintain a sense of humor about it all. I hope I’m able to do the same one of these days!
    Tess @ Tips on Life and Love recently posted..Choosing a Great Online Username is Like Writing a Hit SongMy Profile

  5. Lynn February 3, 2014 at 13:22 #

    At least yours still look up a bit. Mine seems to be fixated on something I’ve dropped on the ground.
    Fucking gravity.
    Lynn recently posted..The OC: “O” is for OhmygaaawdwemustbeperfectMy Profile

  6. Leighann February 11, 2014 at 10:02 #

    oh boy do I feel ya on this one! WATCH OUT cause HERE WE ARE!
    Leighann recently posted..Calling out the CrazyMy Profile

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge