I went into preterm labor at 28 weeks pregnant. There were complications that I’d rather not get into right now and despite the best efforts of my doctor and nurses, we lost our son, Benjamin.

The little hummingbird isn’t really aware of what’s been going on and I’m not sure how to break it to a 4 year-old.

Earlier today, I had to fill out a cremation form and pick out an urn for my son. I wish all of this was just a nightmare.

I want to thank you all for your continued support.


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46 Responses to Benjamin

  1. Missy March 13, 2014 at 16:28 #

    Oh my gosh, hon, my heart just breaks for you. I know it doesn’t help, and you are probably sick of hearing it, but I am so so sorry. I will be keeping you and your family in my thought and prayers during this most difficult time. (((HUGS))) and <3 to all of you.

  2. Lexi March 13, 2014 at 16:29 #

    I’m so sorry. Sending much love through the computer to you and your family.
    Lexi recently posted..Where Was IMy Profile

  3. Carolyn March 13, 2014 at 16:50 #

    Heart breaks for you and your family. Continued prayers for you all.
    We are here for you.

  4. Matthew Miller March 13, 2014 at 16:58 #

    I’m very sorry for your loss. I’ve been reading your posts about your pregnancy and…

    I wish I had words I could type that would help you feel better or help you talk to your daughter about this. I wish I had some wise words to help you. All I can do is tell you that this stranger on the Internet really wishes there was something he could do to help.
    Matthew Miller recently posted..Bacon stuffed gluten free pancakesMy Profile

  5. Michelle Mossey March 13, 2014 at 17:00 #

    I am so sorry. I cannot imagine all of the things you are feeling right at this moment. My heart breaks for you. Praying for you and sending you good thoughts.
    Michelle Mossey recently posted..My Interview With VogueMy Profile

  6. Wendy Zamora March 13, 2014 at 17:34 #

    Elle, I am SO SO sorry for your loss. I know no words can help at a time like this, but I want to send you all the love and empathy in my heart. I’m currently going through a miscarriage, my second, and I understand the heartache, if only a sliver of what you are going through. If there was anything I could do, I would.

    • LaFawne March 13, 2014 at 19:00 #

      Wendy- so sorry for both of your losses. May life treat you in a kinder manner soon!


  7. Christa March 13, 2014 at 17:38 #

    I am SO SO SO SO SO sorry…

    (When you’re ready, please order a free Remembrance care package from here – I’m their communications director.)
    Christa recently posted..Don’t Touch Me – I’m a Nursing Mother!My Profile

  8. Davy March 13, 2014 at 18:02 #

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Elle. I can’t imagine how heartbreaking this must be. Stay strong for your little girl and for yourself.

    Davy xxxx

  9. Christine March 13, 2014 at 18:07 #

    I am very sorry for your loss 🙁

  10. LaFawne March 13, 2014 at 18:58 #

    I am a stranger to you, but I am so so sorry for you and your family. No one should ever go through this pain. I read your blog and enjoy all your stories, but of course there is no enjoyment in this one- only sorrow and grief for your family.

    Please take care of yourselves- all of you. Come back to the blogging world when you feel strong enough.


  11. Marianna Annadanna March 13, 2014 at 19:35 #

    Oh hon I am sooo sorry to hear that. What a precious name. Sending you calming and peaceful vibes. You WILL get through this. xo
    Marianna Annadanna recently posted..I’m on the #BanBossy bandwagonMy Profile

  12. Emily March 13, 2014 at 20:15 #

    I can not even begin to express my sympathy for your loss, and I know that I can not even scratch the surface of imagining what you must be feeling. I wish I could give you some comfort…I hope you can feel us all surrounding you, holding you up. I am so sorry.

  13. Megan M. March 13, 2014 at 20:21 #

    So sorry for your loss. Just know we’re all here for you.

  14. Jennifer @ Also Known As...the Wife March 13, 2014 at 20:41 #

    Elle, I am so very heartbroken for you and your family. This is so unfair. You were chosen to be Benjamin’s mother because you are the one who will love him forever.

    I hope you can find some peace and comfort.

    I’ll be thinking of you, your family, and your sweet little boy.
    Jennifer @ Also Known As…the Wife recently posted..Death By Chocolate in a MugMy Profile

  15. Athena March 13, 2014 at 20:42 #

    I’m terribly sorry for your loss. There’s nothing else to say except that my heart breaks for you and your family. RIP Benjamin. We’ll be thinking about you and your son.

  16. Courtney March 13, 2014 at 21:08 #

    Oh, honey, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. My heart is breaking for you. I hope you can find some peace. <3

  17. Kate March 13, 2014 at 21:27 #

    So very sorry, and wishing you love and comfort as your family moves ahead from this loss.

  18. Leesepea March 13, 2014 at 22:12 #

    I’m so very sorry. My heart goes out to you and your family.
    Leesepea recently posted..Time is irrelevant, it’s not linear**My Profile

  19. Allie March 13, 2014 at 22:39 #

    Elle, I am so sorry for your loss. I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

  20. Leslee March 13, 2014 at 23:27 #

    I’ve never met you and you have no idea who I am. I also don’t know the words which will bring you any kind of comfort right now. So, instead, I’m simply sending you and your family a whole mess of love. <3

  21. Andi March 14, 2014 at 03:00 #

    Oh honey. I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending enormous love your way.

  22. Cindy March 14, 2014 at 10:42 #

    I am so sorry for your loss.

    You’re in my prayers

  23. Melissa March 14, 2014 at 10:57 #

    I am a stranger to you, but following your blog makes me feel as if you’re a friend. Words can not express the sorrow of your loss. I am so sorry. Sending love and prayers for you and your family.

  24. Ashli March 14, 2014 at 11:54 #

    No words can express how sorry I am. You don’t know me, but I am praying so hard for your family right now.

  25. Kathy Mullin March 14, 2014 at 12:53 #

    I had just read your last post yesterday and commented…I am so sorry. This sucks. I just don’t understand how the world works.

  26. Karen March 14, 2014 at 14:39 #

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

  27. Charlie March 14, 2014 at 16:10 #

    Oh I am so sorry. I’m wishing you and your family much peace and acceptance x

  28. Notmyyearoff March 14, 2014 at 17:45 #

    I’m so so sorry Elle. Thinking of you a lot at this very difficult time. Lots of love xx
    Notmyyearoff recently posted..Finding Winter and Settling InMy Profile

  29. Kim March 14, 2014 at 18:43 #

    I am so sorry. So, so sorry. *Hugs.* Lots and lots of love to you and your beautiful family.


  30. Neela March 15, 2014 at 02:31 #

    I lost my first-born at 19 weeks… I can relate with what you are going through.. I am sending prayers for you and your family

  31. Pageflipme March 16, 2014 at 13:11 #

    All the hugs, prayers, comfort, and chocolate I can send……..

  32. monica March 16, 2014 at 21:11 #

    oh elle! I am just catching up on reading blogs from about valentines day and I am shocked and so saddened. I am so, so sorry for your loss. you and your precious family are in my thoughts and I am hoping that you will feel the peace and love of each other. sweet Benjamin. may he rest in peace. xoxo.
    monica recently posted..Irony: When Facebook sends you an email pleasantly reminding you that you’re slacking.My Profile

  33. Courtney March 17, 2014 at 10:28 #


  34. Lisa March 17, 2014 at 16:48 #

    I am truly so sorry for the loss of your sweet son, Benjamin. The loss of a child is so overwhelming. I’ll be praying for your strength of mind and peace of heart in the days to come.

  35. Kristen March 17, 2014 at 20:19 #

    Heartbreaking news. I got chills when I read this. My thoughts are with you, your husband, daughter and dear son Benjamin.

  36. kath March 18, 2014 at 12:01 #

    Gentle journey to little Benjamin’s spirit, and wishes for peace for you and your family. I am so very sorry for your terrible loss.

  37. Nancyhts March 18, 2014 at 12:12 #

    I found your blog today – and I am so sorry for your loss – I wish there were words to help. Reading back through your blog did warm my heart and make me laugh out loud and made me feel hopeful that you will find a way through this dark and sad time for you family. I wish you peace. Nancy

  38. Graham March 18, 2014 at 14:51 #

    I stumbled upon here via Twitter. May I offer my sincere condolences and wish you love and happiness. I am truly sorry for your loss.

  39. Daisy March 18, 2014 at 16:37 #

    I am so sorry.

  40. Abby March 20, 2014 at 20:42 #

    I’m just so, so sorry. I will pray that you are wrapped in peace and comfort and that you find the perfect words to tell your baby girl.
    Love to you & your family.

  41. Pela March 20, 2014 at 21:09 #

    Elle, There are no words that can make you feel better right now, but just know that this community loves you and is here for you. My most heartfelt sympathies go out to you and your family. Love and cyber-hugs to all of you.

  42. Stephanie March 22, 2014 at 15:44 #

    I am so sorry for your loss.


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